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How does your child handle it?

Posted by on Jun. 6, 2013 at 10:58 AM
  • 21 Replies

What I mean is... how is your child doing as the child of a single mom?  Has he/she ever needed counseling?  Is he/she resentful that dad isn't around as much as in other families?

by on Jun. 6, 2013 at 10:58 AM
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by on Jun. 6, 2013 at 11:12 AM

My kids handle it pretty well now. When me and their dad first seperated I had some problems with my ds, 3 yr old at the time. He was acting out, throwing tantrums, asking for his dad, and then getting mad at me when I told him his dad wasnt coming. Eventually their dad stepped up to the plate and started getting them every other weekend and the kids accepted that thats how their life was going to be from now on. Now they are 11ds and 8dd and they handle things fine. Sometimes they bring up the fact that they dont have a "dad" living in the house with them but I dont really think they are referring to their dad, just a male figure in general thats around all the time. No counseling ever needed.

by Bronze Member on Jun. 6, 2013 at 11:14 AM
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It's all my kids have ever known... they were both under 2 ( only 15 months apart) when we seperated
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by on Jun. 6, 2013 at 11:16 AM
She handles it well for the most part...there are times she says she misses her dad...but me being a single mom is all she has known. She will be 4 in july.
by on Jun. 6, 2013 at 8:07 PM
The older two have needed therapy as they were older when I left, the youngest was one and I.thought he wouldnt know the difference since he was so.young but he kept watching calliou and berenstein bears over and over and nothing else so I asked him why and he said because.they.have a family,. He was 4. I think there is a part of them that will miss what a dad could give them in comparison to others who.have great dads on their lives but in our case, I feel terribly guilty that I'm a single mom because their dad is such a loser.
by on Jun. 6, 2013 at 8:55 PM

My children are too young to tell me how they are handling it but I'm sure since my x will not be getting visitaion anytime in the near future that I will have to find out much later when my son is able to tell me. My daughter is only almost 6 mos so I dont even think she realizes he's gone... he never spent much time with her....

by Kendra on Jun. 6, 2013 at 8:58 PM
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It's all she's ever known, we divorced when she was 5 months old. Her dad is as involved as her can be living 90 minutes away. She's as bonded with him as she is with me. Because we both put her first!
by on Jun. 6, 2013 at 10:27 PM

 To make a long story short, my oldest dd has a different dad then her younger sisters. Her dad used to be a "sometimes" dad and is now a "never" around dad. He has 3 other kids (younger then my dd) from 2 other girls. 2 daughters tha are 7 and 8 yrs old (now in foster care) and a 17 month old son (lives with his ex)

My dd is 11 tomorrow and has suffered a lot and was in counseling over her dad. He used to drive by our house every weekend to pick up and take his other 2 daughters for visits (he still does actually) and never called stopped in or picked up my dd. My dd went to the same school as her younger half sisters and they used to talk about their dad all the time, what he bought them or where he took them and so on.

She has now only met her half brother once or twice, and it kills her inside that he see's him to on a regular basis. When she was around 2 yrs old she was staying at his place over the weekends, and she would have night terrors, walking in her sleep talking and fighting we stopped it went to court he lost his rights to her. I never denied him access at all, he still saw her for a few more years then just stopped.

When she was about 6 or 7 he took her to the movies and promised to take her back sometime soon, she had left over tokens for the arcade, and to this day 5 yrs later she still has them, and wont let me throw them out or use them cause she is waiting for him to come back :(

by on Jun. 6, 2013 at 10:27 PM

My daughter doesnt compare to other families at this point - at least not verbally.  she is 4 (5 in less than a month).  She doesn't remember being around her dad all the time even though that was only less than 2 years ago.  She was just over 3 when we split up.  

I think she is doing okay.  However she is having difficulty right now because her dad who did at least get her and see her every other weekend up until the end of 2012 has moved to NC.  At the beginning of the year his new gf attacked me and things have been more than crazy since then.  She only had 6 over nights and 1 3 hour visit since the beginning of the year.  The last overnight was march 16th.  So she is just having trouble not being able to see him at all and knowing that she won't be able to.

As a child of a single mom, I know that there are things long term that I have concerns about.  I know that I do not know how to communicate very well with a bf because I never saw my mom doing that (or didn't remember it).  I know that I don't trust men very well.  And I don't know what a healthy relationship looks like.  I want my daughter to have good examples of these sorts of things.  My mom did great as a mother - and helped teach my sister and I to be independent, but she still has not remarried so we never really saw her in that role.

I have thought about counseling for my dd recently with everything, but with my work schedule and insurance/lack there of I have not been able to get her in,..It is hard.  I hate dd missing her dad.

by on Jun. 7, 2013 at 12:19 AM
My oldest needed therapy for a while. She was scared that I would leave her like her dad did and that caused her to develop separation anxiety. But now she's good. She's realized things and worked through stuff.
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by on Jun. 7, 2013 at 2:12 AM

 hubs left last week and I got the teen boys into a counselor immediately. They both have appointments next week and will have them every two weeks at least through the summer. They are a bit confused because of his behavior but are tired of it and his abusive yelling. I hope he can get the help he needs are reestablish an appropriate relationship with them. We will always be parents and grandparents together!!

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