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My ex has the kids for the entire summer.  This is the first real time they've been away from me.  I am absolutely heartbroken.  I don't know what to do with myself.  I feel like part of me is missing.  How do you guys do it?  How do you get through the times when the kids are with their dad?  .

by on Jun. 9, 2013 at 8:40 PM
Replies (11-12):
by on Jun. 10, 2013 at 7:01 PM

Thanks everyone.  I'm trying to hang in there and think positively... its just so hard sometimes!  My babies are such a huge part of my life that without them here I feel so lost.  I have been sleeping a lot, but I think the majority of that is due to my depression.  Maybe I'll plan them a big surprise for when they get home... that'll give me something to think about and look forward to!

by on Jun. 11, 2013 at 10:00 AM

I would say that the best thing to do is to keep busy.  When my dd was younger, she spent summers with her dad even though our CO said that he got two weeks.  His mom was retired and he and I both worked, so it was great that she watched my dd.  My ex and I sucked as a couple, but did pretty well as parents.  I was able to call and speak with my dd regularly and she would call me as well.  Still, I never said anything to her about how much I missed her...just talked about what she was doing and encouraged her to enjoy herself and she did.  She benefitted so much just because by being supportive of her time with her dad, I allowed her to have a great relationship with her dad and grandma.  Kids really do need time with and need to feel loved by both bioparents.

How difficult it becomes is up to you.  The more you wallow in self-pity, the more depressed you will become and that will rub off onto your kids.  Find something to do.  If you don't work, get a summer job.  And, when the kids are ready to come home, just realize that how you're feeling now is probably very much like how their dad feels when he doesn't get to see them for the majority of the year.  Keeping that in mind, you both may want to work together to establish more regular contact between the kids and both parents...set up skype calls and the like. 

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