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My Daughter

Posted by on Jun. 10, 2013 at 2:26 PM
  • 7 Replies

Is turning 19 this Saturday.  My ex has completely cut her out of his miserable life.   The last time we saw him was in court back in April.  He walked right by us and didn't even bother recognizing our daughter.  He simply treated her like she was nothing to him.  How utterly cold.

Before that my daughter talked to her father the day after his birthday.  That's when he chewed her out for forgetting his birthday.  He was vile and evil to her on the phone.  Verbally abusing her.  Since December, I had to block him from calling her.  He was abusive to her before that as well.  I had no choice but to cut him off from abusing  her any further.  I doubt he does anything for her on Saturday, Friday or even on Sunday.  He knows where she works and can come see her anytime.  But, he's refused. 

It's a hard dose of reality knowing just how much my ex has screwed up his life and how he has now decided to treat our daughter.  She's innocent in everything.  A good, sweet, honest and kindhearted person that certainly deserves a much better father in life. 

For all the moms that have deadbeat, loser, scumbag exes like mine, here is a group hug!

group hug

by on Jun. 10, 2013 at 2:26 PM
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Replies (1-7):
LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jun. 10, 2013 at 2:54 PM
1 mom liked this

What an ass he missed out becasue of his selfishness and child like behavior

erinmomofone
by on Jun. 10, 2013 at 2:56 PM
1 mom liked this
Sounds like my father. I know how she feels. Hope she has a good birthday!
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dawncs
by on Jun. 10, 2013 at 3:25 PM
1 mom liked this

Always remember this. If he can do this to your daughter, he can do this to any future children without a conscience guaranteed if he leaves his current wife. His current wife will never believe you at all if you tell her this.

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

steviechick
by Gold Member on Jun. 10, 2013 at 3:29 PM

I was actually in her shoes - for over 20 years.  When I first met my ex he already fathered a daughter.  She will be 32 next month.  He walked out on her when she was three years old.  Should have been a red flag for me.  But, I was in love and so naieve and trusting back then.  What he told me I thought was 'golden'.  He said that his first wife left him.  She's still with the same man (29 years later).  What I also found out was that my ex had money problems even back then.  She left him because he was a loser - like he is now and more then likely his anger got the best of him.  What I know now and what wife number three doesn't know......karma will do them both in.  Sad thing is though two more children will be victimized - the ones he has with wife number three now.     

 

Quoting dawncs:

Always remember this. If he can do this to your daughter, he can do this to any future children without a conscience guaranteed if he leaves his current wife. His current wife will never believe you at all if you tell her this.

 

 

vbway
by Member on Jun. 10, 2013 at 4:40 PM

Your post reminded me of my ex. He didn't call my girls on their birthdays, Feb and August. Then the following Jan. he called to tell the girls that it was his birthday and his family was all there celebrating with him. It hurt my daughters feeling that he didn't call in a whole year and he missed birthdays and christmas but he called on his birthday. That was the day my daughter made up her mind that she didn't want to call him Dad anymore. 

Deadbeat dads speak for themselves, I have never had to say one word against my ex. He makes himself look bad enough by himself. 

dawncs
by on Jun. 10, 2013 at 6:09 PM

 You have to realize that his choices will bite him in the end. There is a good chance at some point in his life that he will become dependent on someone for his care because he is too impaired to care for himself. By alienating himself from his kids, they will be less likely to want to care for him, and they would be more likely to place him into a nursing home. It does happen trust me since my Mom saw it while she worked as a nursing home registered nurse.

Quoting steviechick:

I was actually in her shoes - for over 20 years.  When I first met my ex he already fathered a daughter.  She will be 32 next month.  He walked on her when she was three years old.  Should have been a red flag for me.  But, I was in love and so naieve and trusting back then.  What I know now and what wife number three doesn't know......karma will do them both in.  Sad thing is though two more children will be victimized. 

Quoting dawncs:

Always remember this. If he can do this to your daughter, he can do this to any future children without a conscience guaranteed if he leaves his current wife. His current wife will never believe you at all if you tell her this.

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

steviechick
by Gold Member on Jun. 11, 2013 at 11:19 AM

Yes, deadbeat dads do speak for themselves.  I try not to say too many bad things about my ex.  Even though my daughter agrees with me.  It's better off for me (my health) and my everyday stress in life to NOT talk about the ex.  He's so screwed up its actually sad.  I pity him more then anything else.  I once told him that his anger will catch up to him.  Well, it has.  The anger he feels towards us and his own parents is simply how he feels about himself.  Such a lost soul.....

My ex's family genes aren't that great.  His grandmother died from diabetes type 2.  His mother has diabetes type 2.  She's also had two brain tumors.  Her health isn't that great.  Without my ex-FIL, she would be put in a nursing home.  Karma will bite my ex eventually.   He's walked out on two of his kids.  He is a perpetual loser/deadbeat.  He's not had the best history thus far being a husband nor a father.  I can see him in 10-20 years from now being all alone and miserable.  I even told my daughter that even though he isn't in her life now, he will be someday when she gets older.  It's only a matter of time.  Her father is on a destructive path and has been for most of his life.  Pushing  your own brood out of our life and for what - the idiotic mistakes you made in your life.  I see a pattern that will never change for my ex.  Karma will meet up with him eventually.

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