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Pregnant and dating??

Posted by on Jun. 10, 2013 at 8:20 PM
  • 21 Replies
So I am 9weeks pregnant and have been single since 2 weeks before I found out I was pregnant.
I haven't thought much about dating since, and just decided it was time to focus on other things (baby, preparing for baby)
I was fine with all of this. I don't want to be with my ex because if what he did that caused our break up and the huge lack of trust, however being pregnant with another mans baby makes it I unappealing to be with another man to me. For years this guy I've went to school with since 1st grade has wanted to date me, I'd never give in. At the time he never had a job and lived off his family. Since he has grown up and does have a job and he's still after me. I'm not really showing at 9 weeks (well 7 when I last saw him) so by looking you can't tell. I went into his work to have my car worked on and haven't stopped hearing from him since I made the appointment. I finally told him it was awkward because I was pregnant and that I wasn't sure about it. Thinking the pregnancy would scare him off. It didn't. Which is flattering and a little weird at same time.

He's an attractive man and has pulled himself together nicely, I'm just not sure now is the time?
by on Jun. 10, 2013 at 8:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
virginiamama71
by Carrie on Jun. 10, 2013 at 8:26 PM
If you are not sure now just wait and see how a friendship goes.
faerie75
by Ruby Member on Jun. 10, 2013 at 8:30 PM
I always question the motives of men willing to date women in vulnerable positions. It's up to you.
kris10leighc
by Member on Jun. 10, 2013 at 8:35 PM
The only reason I consider it is because he has wanted to date me for so long .. Maybe 3 years now. It's not like "oo she's prego in jumping on that"
I don't feel like its some weird fetish. I know he does and has genuinely liked me.


Quoting faerie75:

I always question the motives of men willing to date women in vulnerable positions. It's up to you.

kris10leighc
by Member on Jun. 10, 2013 at 8:38 PM
It helps we've known each other, but I did tell him I didn't kno would need a friendship first and to take things slow. Most importantly stability. Not a flake.


Quoting virginiamama71:

If you are not sure now just wait and see how a friendship goes.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Jun. 10, 2013 at 8:43 PM
3 moms liked this
Idk personally id be friends w him now and focus on myself and the baby. I did date while pregnant w my second and looking back it was a mistake. Good luck to you and whatever you decide.

Quoting kris10leighc:

The only reason I consider it is because he has wanted to date me for so long .. Maybe 3 years now. It's not like "oo she's prego in jumping on that"

I don't feel like its some weird fetish. I know he does and has genuinely liked me.




Quoting faerie75:

I always question the motives of men willing to date women in vulnerable positions. It's up to you.

sid1083
by Silver Member on Jun. 12, 2013 at 1:28 AM

 Personally, I'd rather wait until well after the baby is born to have the opportunity to establish a routine with just the two of you (being you & baby).

rfhsure
by Member on Jun. 12, 2013 at 2:59 AM
1 mom liked this

No one can really answer that for you. It could be possible that a new man is especially appealing to you now that you're pregnant. The mother in you wants love, stability, and the idea of something long lasting. The comfort and affection is nice when you're pregnant, and the companionship probably wouldn't kill you. If you're interested in pursuing it, go for it. Just keep in mind that your feelings may change as the pregnancy progresses and especially after the baby is born. Also make sure that you are respecting the wishes of the baby's father if he is going to be involved. If he's going to step up as a father be sure you are not leading on any potential mates into thinking they will be filling that role. I would not include them in your appointments, classes, birth, etc if gets that far either. 

Anyway, if you're not sure it's the right time, don't jump into it just yet. there's nothing wrong with spending time with him, but really evaluate your motives before pursuing a relationship.

kris10leighc
by Member on Jun. 12, 2013 at 9:27 AM
Thank you, I have made it very clear that I in no way looking for a father to my child he/she has one. Even if he wasnt around I'm not looking for an immediate replacement and ill never lie to my child about who her father is.
I have also told him to seriously consider what he's wanting. Because right now the pregnancy is not a walk in the park for me. I'm sick, tired and hurting all the time. I hope it will get better but it's not the easiest time to date. One huge thing for me is I don't want someone in and out and I feel I'm pushing him away because a fear he won't stick around.


Quoting rfhsure:

No one can really answer that for you. It could be possible that a new man is especially appealing to you now that you're pregnant. The mother in you wants love, stability, and the idea of something long lasting. The comfort and affection is nice when you're pregnant, and the companionship probably wouldn't kill you. If you're interested in pursuing it, go for it. Just keep in mind that your feelings may change as the pregnancy progresses and especially after the baby is born. Also make sure that you are respecting the wishes of the baby's father if he is going to be involved. If he's going to step up as a father be sure you are not leading on any potential mates into thinking they will be filling that role. I would not include them in your appointments, classes, birth, etc if gets that far either. 

Anyway, if you're not sure it's the right time, don't jump into it just yet. there's nothing wrong with spending time with him, but really evaluate your motives before pursuing a relationship.


LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jun. 12, 2013 at 9:33 AM
You have to know for yourself just be careful hormones run crazy during pregnancy and a newborn and fresh break up is not what you need.
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sthflachk
by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 9:34 AM
You've known his since you were 8? Cool. If he really wants to be with you he will follow your lead. He has waited this long for you to say yes I am sure he has the patience to wait a little longer if that's what you want.

But....for me....I was in your exact position when pregnant...I would have loved to have just one person to lean on a little...to show pictures to...I was very lonely and a friend would have been nice.
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