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Do you maintain contact with his family?

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I have worked really hard to mend, heal and build a healthy adult relationship with my daughter's dad's family.

His sister is on my Facebook, and we want our children to know each other. She visited me in April, and we arranged that I am taking my daughter to visit them (they all live 5 hours away) but now suddenly my daughter's dad is saying things to try to sabotage it. 

How do you deal with your ex- family? 

by on Jun. 11, 2013 at 3:37 PM
Replies (41-49):
krmom05
by New Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 12:38 PM

For the most part no, fb friends with his brother but that's it. If his fam wants to see ds my ex can take ds to visit them on his time. 

woodstock525
by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 1:39 PM

While I divorced my ex and not his family, I think there is a time and place for maintaining those relationships.  I would certainly welcome them if they came to my home, but I would think twice about going to theirs if it were for a family event.  I wouldn't want to step on my ex's toes or that of his new gf/spouse by inserting myself into his family.  I also don't want to be used or get in the middle of any family issues. 

I could see your ex and possibly his new gf/spouse feeling uncomfortable with you taking your daughter to visit his sibling.  That should be up to him to do. 

Barblicious
by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 3:51 PM

I hear that, I get that it should be up to him, but he hasn't done so. His sister offered and we get along. 

He had no problem with it until now, and yes I am sure it is the nightmare girlfriend nagging him.

HOWEVER my daughter's dad has over the last 3 years COMPLETELY INSERTED himself into MY FAMILY and our FAMILY EVENTS, always insisting that it was his right because he was "the dad" of my daughter. He never cared about how uncomfortable it made everyone in my family that he had to come to holiday dinners - he just wanted to control control control. His ruined a lot of fun days for me and everyone I know!!  

And now he has the nerve to say I can't take my daughter to visit his family - he isn't even going to be there! I planned this vacation, to visit other friends of mine that live up there too. This wasn't just about his family, it was about my vacation!

It really has nothing to do with him at all. They want to see their grand-daughter / niece and he is saying it is inappropriate and makes him uncomfortable? HYPOCRITE! How inappropriate was it for him to invade my family and my house and my friends and my life??? 


Quoting woodstock525:

While I divorced my ex and not his family, I think there is a time and place for maintaining those relationships.  I would certainly welcome them if they came to my home, but I would think twice about going to theirs if it were for a family event.  I wouldn't want to step on my ex's toes or that of his new gf/spouse by inserting myself into his family.  I also don't want to be used or get in the middle of any family issues. 

I could see your ex and possibly his new gf/spouse feeling uncomfortable with you taking your daughter to visit his sibling.  That should be up to him to do. 



staceytg79
by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 7:13 PM

My in laws talk to my children, but are very mean to me. I only let the kids call once and awhile. They act like I am the only reason my marriage to their son broke apart. It's cool. I don't need them in my life and my kids will understand and see for themselves when they are older. 

A winning comment from them once was that my mom got deathly I'll because I didn't follow gods law and divorced their son for beating the crap out of me one day. Yep, real winners there.

lalalucylala
by Lillian Justice on Jun. 14, 2013 at 8:00 PM

For the most part my ex's family are easy to get along with. It's only 3 that I mainly deal with. They watch my children, no compliants. It's just nerve wreaking seeing my ex around. It brings upon negative feelings.

Tx_stepmom
by on Jun. 15, 2013 at 12:43 PM

I don't deal with or see my former in-laws.  I lost my hubby in 2000 to cancer.  I call his family my Ex-inlaws.  I cut off ties with them before hubby died due to his family being so toxic and vengeful prior to his death.  I got along great with my FIL.  It was the rest of the batshit crazy family that I couldn't be around. Hubby was never aware of what was happening.  I always left the option open to my son that if he wanted to contact them and have a relationship with any of them, he could and I would support his decision (no matter how I felt about them).  He was 11yr old when his dad died.  Now he's 24.  He is friends on FB with some of his cousins, but that's as far as he wants it to go.  He wants nothing to do with them.  His train of thought is, "Where were they when we needed them the most?  They said they loved me and turned their backs on me as a child when my dad was dying.  I want nothing to do with them."  We were better off without them in our lives. 

Lurion
by Member on Jun. 15, 2013 at 12:50 PM

I was probably closer to my ex's family that he was throughout the marriage.

I left him 3 years ago, and even in that time I've taken the kids for extended visits with his family (they live out of the country). He never made that effort and was previously very supportive of me maintaining contact.

UNTIL recently when he moved away from where we live to move in with his gf. All hell's broken loose with his family getting in the middle of our mess. The whole dynamic has shifted. 

It makes me very sad. I don't feel like we'll be close again and I think my children are much worse off without the close support of their extended family. I'm sad my kids won't grow up close to their cousins. 


mrsary
by Silver Member on Jun. 15, 2013 at 12:59 PM
I guess this is common unfortunately. I've reached out to my ex h family and they ignored me. Now I don't deal with him or them!
brittybby2010
by Bronze Member on Jun. 15, 2013 at 2:23 PM

I tried. They live 8 hours away, but I've tried sending pictures and keeping them updated on my daughters well being, but they ignore me. 

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