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Do you expect your boyfriend to help out with things?

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Boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now and we have not introduced our kids to the other yet.  Kids are staying with Ex Dh (dad) for the summer so we have been spending more time together.  I own a home and he has an apartment.  His job has been slow so he has been off work a little bit more than usual.  He called the other day and I told him I was busy cutting the grass so he said he would call back later.  He later said "oh I started to come over and cut your grass since I was off".  I hadn't even thought or expected anything like that but it got me to thinking...should I or do you guys expect your bf to help out with anything?  It sort of pissed me off only after he mentioned it.  I mean he has been off and I work and maintain the house...it would have been a nice gesture but again...you know what they say about expectations.  I wish he would have never made the statement.

Navi

by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 11:10 AM
Replies (11-15):
sunshine389142
by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 8:49 PM

If he wasn't lliving with me or staying with me most of the time, I would not expect him to take care of my house - especially if he had his own living space.  

I think it is a nice gesture that the thought even crossed his mind.

Robsessed98
by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 9:03 PM
I don't think either of you should expect help unless you live together. It would be great if you did help each other when you can, but I don't think either owes it to the other.
raegan1221
by Raegan on Jun. 12, 2013 at 9:06 PM
My bf and I have been together a little over three and a half years. We don't live together so I definitely don't expect it. If we lived together that would be different.
Caramel824
by Bronze Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 8:06 AM
For gardening,plumbing,heavy lifting i ask for assistance.but cooking,clothes washing,and painting even we could take turns.and I would extend my services to HIS PLACE also.
NaviHope
by Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 12:28 PM

 


Quoting gmoen1977:

Kyle doesn' live here, does stay nights and spend time together but he just does it has from day one.  I like it but it did feel wierd in the begining when he would do these things now it is just second nature.  I met his 8 yr old a month after we started dating. if your relationship is solid why not share the kids and have outing that the kids would enjoy with the two of you to get to know the other.  A year is a long time and after that kind of time either the relationship is solid or its not and if not then what are you still doing in the relationship?  Not saying introduce on the first date but when your solid with the relationship and know its going somewhere.  I've spent time with his daughter twice.  the little one I have yet to meet, but that is more the mom not wanting to let go.


 I can't really put a time limit on how long it will take for our relationship to become "solid" and a year may or may not be a long time to some.  I am just not ready or interested in mixing my kids into our relationship even if it is going somewhere.  I know it's a personal decision for each involved but I would rather just spend the time as a couple and not as a family.  There is no rush.

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