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how dumb am I?

Posted by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 7:48 PM
  • 9 Replies
1 mom liked this
Summer is coming, my X is broke, doesn't give me a cent and my son wants him to come along on a summer vacation I planned and am paying for. I know it would be good for my boy but I might kill my X in his sleep. Would any of you do this for your child's well being or am I out of my mind? We always hoped we could be the kind of cool couple who still did stuff together even though we aren't together and we are still friends but he is such a looser when it comes to responsibility that I harbor a mountain of resentment toward him. My X thinks everything is great...he has no worries. I really want to beat him up...
by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 7:48 PM
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Replies (1-9):
vbway
by Member on Jun. 12, 2013 at 10:33 PM
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I think it's good that you guys try to get along for your child. But I don't think you should feel pressured to spend a whole vacation with him. I don't know how old your child is, but you should find an age appropriate way to explain it to him. 

Robsessed98
by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 10:36 PM
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It would be great for the child if y'all were able to pull it off. However, unless you are financially set, dad needs to pay his share.
kristenliam31
by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 12:39 AM
1 mom liked this

your not dumb at all, im sorry about your x. 

sid1083
by Silver Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 12:41 AM
1 mom liked this
An activity, probably. A trip longer than a couple hours and/or overnight, not on your life.
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Barblicious
by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 1:09 AM

My daughter's dad was the same, always using me for money, me paying for everything. Is that the kind of relationship you want your child to see? Is it really healthy? 

lucasmadre
by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:24 AM

Good points, every one of them. I have therapy on Saturday so will bring this up. You guys are the best, I know you get it and for that I am eternally grateful. We all want to do what is best for our kids but I have to consider what is best for me too....I haven't done that in a decade and it is time. Power to the single mom!!!!!!  XO You guys are the best :)

lucasmadre
by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 7:27 AM

Bottom line is he can't pay for himself, so should he just be excluded until he can? Tough love and all that? He doesn't give me a cent and for me to then pay for him....makes me think my head is going to explode. He won't act grateful either, he will act like it was all his idea and he paid for the whole thing...swear to god. Can you say delusional???  XO

Quoting Robsessed98:

It would be great for the child if y'all were able to pull it off. However, unless you are financially set, dad needs to pay his share.


easinpc
by Gold Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 8:56 AM

My sons father and I have separate vacations that we go on with our son.

steviechick
by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 9:52 AM

My ex was and still is a financial loser.  I would never ask him to join me and my daughter on a vacation if were divorced.  Even if it meant the world to our daughter to see us together as a family.  We are divorced and that's how we should separate our relationship.  If the ex can't afford to pay his fair share of the vacation it will look bad to your daughter.  I'm sure she's probably heard you complain about money before.  I complained all the time about my ex's irresponsibility.  He would have put us in the poor house, put us in foreclosure, etc., had I not intervened financially.  I would think if anything you will feel nothing but resentment if you are anywhere near your ex.  It's not worth all the misery just to make your daughter happy.  She can go on a separate vacation with her dad once he has enough money saved up.  Until then, I would suggest for your own mental well being that you and your daughter go on your own vacation.

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