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What are pros and cons of the baby having the dad's name VS having yours?

Posted by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 1:03 PM
  • 40 Replies

Just wanted to see your feedback ladies.

I am still trying to weigh the pros and cons of what last name my baby will have.

The dad shared he will recognize the baby and would give him his last name but given that we have been distant, I think having my last name would be a better option.

Let me know your thoughts.

its a boy

by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 1:03 PM
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woodstock525
by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 1:06 PM
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Have you consulted with the baby's father?  I would suggest that you do that since while the two of you may be distant, he will hopefully be an active part of your baby's future.  The court could order that the father's name be placed on the birth certificate once paternity is officially established.

Oliviasmom72
by Bronze Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 1:16 PM
1 mom liked this

First of all if you read up on the statistics, fathers are much more likely to be involved if the child is given the last name. Unless you know for a fact the father is going to disappear and is a huge loser, then I think the baby should be give the fathers last name. He can go to court and ask for it to be hyphenated. If Dad has shown some interest in being involved, I would give the baby his last name. I had my first when my ex and I were not married and I would never even consider given the baby my last name esp. since I knew he would be involved and be a good dad. We got married and went on to have one more.

Good luck.

firstimemommy23
by Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 1:19 PM
1 mom liked this


thank you, that is very helpful.

Quoting Oliviasmom72:

First of all if you read up on the statistics, fathers are much more likely to be involved if the child is given the last name. Unless you know for a fact the father is going to disappear and is a huge loser, then I think the baby should be give the fathers last name. He can go to court and ask for it to be hyphenated. If Dad has shown some interest in being involved, I would give the baby his last name. I had my first when my ex and I were not married and I would never even consider given the baby my last name esp. since I knew he would be involved and be a good dad. We got married and went on to have one more.

Good luck.



firstimemommy23
by Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 1:22 PM


Thank you.

Quoting woodstock525:

Have you consulted with the baby's father?  I would suggest that you do that since while the two of you may be distant, he will hopefully be an active part of your baby's future.  The court could order that the father's name be placed on the birth certificate once paternity is officially established.



happymommy1105
by Gold Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 1:25 PM
1 mom liked this
you need to check your state laws. some states dont allow you to give baby his last name ubless he is present at the time of birth.
vbway
by Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 1:41 PM

I'm not much help because I was married when I had my kids. I kept my married name after the divorce because I like having the same name as my kids. 

This may seem weird, but I have a friend who changed her name to her ex boyfriends name while she was pregnant so that she could give her kid his name and still share a name with the baby. 

Barblicious
by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 4:08 PM
1 mom liked this

Wow, I would fight to the bitter end of earth if a court demanded I give my child her dad's name. 

She has my last name. We were never married. His last name is not mine. I have 100% sole custody, he has access only. So LEGALLY having her with my name avoids a ton of hassles and questions and confusions. It just makes so much sense. 

When I get married I would even change her name - and he would officially become her step-dad by law. She will never have her father's name.

pedritosmama
by Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 5:36 PM

My child's last name is hyphenated.  If you and dad don't agree on a last name, most judges hyphenate the name anyways as a compromise. 

My last name is very important to me, and my heritage is very important to me.  So I did not once consider not having my last name a part of my son's name.

pedritosmama
by Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 5:38 PM
1 mom liked this

 


Quoting happymommy1105:

you need to check your state laws. some states dont allow you to give baby his last name ubless he is present at the time of birth.


That's not true. She can name a child whatever she wants.  She could name it Princess Consuela Banana Hammock. 

She can't put the father's name on the birth certificate unless he's there to sign an acknowledgement of paternity.  That's probably what you were thinking of.

 

Kazmira222
by Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 5:41 PM
1 mom liked this
My son's name is hyphenated with my last name being his. His father isn't involved so it makes more sense for him to have my name.
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