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feel like talking trash?

Posted by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 9:12 PM
  • 13 Replies

Anyone out there feel like joining me in reminding ourselves how terrible our Xs were for us?

Over time mine made me feel invisible, completely without value. I forgot everything I loved about myself and it has taken years to slowly rebuild myself from scratch...anyone relate?

by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 9:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
easinpc
by Gold Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 10:11 PM

Hugs!

woodstock525
by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 10:51 PM

Neither of my x's were terrible...though I wouldn't have said so at the time.  Hindsight being 20/20, it was my poor judgement and decision making that led me to select them.  Even so, I learned important life lessons as a result of those relationships that have made me a stronger person today.  And, if I hadn't had those relationships, I might not have my wonderful son and daughter. 

To move forward, I went to counseling, went back to college, picked up new hobbies, and quit feeling sorry for myself and blaming the ex and everyone else for what went wrong in my life and started looking for the things that were right.  It's like seeing the glass as half full instead of half empty....perspective changes lives.

I also realized that when I trashed and blamed the ex for my issues, I was also impacting my children and their relationships with their fathers.  They didn't want or need to hear me trash their fathers.   

Barblicious
by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 11:22 PM

I relate to what Woodstock is saying, I was previously a very unhealthy person who had unhealthy relationships with unhealthy men. I have healed and become a complete person and I would never trash talk my ex in front of my child. Nor would I trash talk him just because of the past. It is the past.

That said however, fact remains, he is still the unhealthy guy he always was. He is selfcentered and only cares about himself and his life. I am sure he (now) loves his daughter and is grateful I didn't have the abortion he demanded, but he is not really a parent in the capacity I see other men be parents. He has his daughter for about 30 hours each week. Cancels or shortens that whenever it suits his bar hopping drunken ways. He pays the bare minimum in support and hides his income. Battles me on everything.  He still attempts to control me.

For all the things he does right now in the present that cause me frustration, I will trash him. A few months back he called himself a douchebag. That is now his official title. Lol.

lucasmadre
by Member on Jun. 15, 2013 at 7:45 AM

Oh, you are so grown up, I want to be like you...I do! I have my moments and then when he does something upsetting I go right back to being angry. Thank you for giving me a reality check. I have to say one things for myself, I have never spoken badly about him in front of my son...EVER. So at least I have that going for me. I promise, to try and be a grown up and move on...it is time to do it once and for all. Thanks for the kind pep-talk!!!

Quoting woodstock525:

Neither of my x's were terrible...though I wouldn't have said so at the time.  Hindsight being 20/20, it was my poor judgement and decision making that led me to select them.  Even so, I learned important life lessons as a result of those relationships that have made me a stronger person today.  And, if I hadn't had those relationships, I might not have my wonderful son and daughter. 

To move forward, I went to counseling, went back to college, picked up new hobbies, and quit feeling sorry for myself and blaming the ex and everyone else for what went wrong in my life and started looking for the things that were right.  It's like seeing the glass as half full instead of half empty....perspective changes lives.

I also realized that when I trashed and blamed the ex for my issues, I was also impacting my children and their relationships with their fathers.  They didn't want or need to hear me trash their fathers.   


lucasmadre
by Member on Jun. 15, 2013 at 7:49 AM
1 mom liked this

YES! The past is the past and I am over that, it is when he screws up the present that I go crazy. It digs up all the lies etc. so I have to give him less chances to make bad things happen in my life. I never trash talk him to my son EVER, that is why I needed to do it here. Thanks for your rsponse. Letting go as I write!!! Wish me luck...XO

Quoting Barblicious:

I relate to what Woodstock is saying, I was previously a very unhealthy person who had unhealthy relationships with unhealthy men. I have healed and become a complete person and I would never trash talk my ex in front of my child. Nor would I trash talk him just because of the past. It is the past.



brittybby2010
by Bronze Member on Jun. 15, 2013 at 2:31 PM

Mine was emotionally abusive and controlling. Made me feel worthless and controlled my actions through manipulative words. Even to this day, he's still trying to control me by threatening to take me to court if I don't comply to his outrageous requests regarding our daughter. Take her to a huge party while she's sick? No way. 

brittybby2010
by Bronze Member on Jun. 15, 2013 at 2:34 PM
1 mom liked this



Quoting Barblicious:

That said however, fact remains, he is still the unhealthy guy he always was. He is selfcentered and only cares about himself and his life. I am sure he (now) loves his daughter and is grateful I didn't have the abortion he demanded...


I get you about the abortion part! Mine asked me to get one, as well. I'm glad I refused! 

mz23
by Bronze Member on Jun. 15, 2013 at 3:48 PM
1 mom liked this

I picked a a complete and total loser and he still iS one and prob will always be one. Honestly, you can look at him and tell he's not worth a 2 cents. I don't know what I was thinking *shudders*. The shame is on me.




A-nony-mous
by Member on Jun. 15, 2013 at 6:43 PM

Mine constantly used my child support money to buy himself overly expensive camera equipment so he could take lewd pictures of girls 15 years younger than he is and on escorts. Then he made me feel bad for complaining about it. 

lucasmadre
by Member on Jun. 15, 2013 at 9:56 PM
1 mom liked this

I think we have established that there are some real winners out there- so now let us be thankful that we are no longer with these "men." Happy Father's Day to you all and thanks for joining in on the vent... XO

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