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He called after 6 months...

Posted by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 11:02 PM
  • 30 Replies
1 mom liked this

Last year I had my son call his dad for father's day.  It had been 5 months since the ex called.  He apologized for being a shithead and promised to be around more.  He saw my son in July (after he forgot his birthday then tried to pick a fight with the karate teachers, how brilliant is that) and again at Labor Day.  My son was supposed to visit at Christmas but he got sick and was too sick to travel.  I offered up a 3 day weekend in January and the ex turned it down and I haven't heard from him since.

So today I guess after he figured out that I wasn't going to make the phone call, he decided to put the call in.  My son didn't wish him a happy father's day.  He apologized to both of us again. He promised to come see my son and bring his Christmas presents (how thoughtful since his birthday is in 3 weeks).  He asks me if he can take him for the day and just hang out around town before doing a weekend.  I tell him my intention was never to keep them apart, I was just making his exit easier since that appears to be what he wants.  He tells me he's been depressed since he lost his job nearly 2 years ago and that he's starting to work full time in about 3 weeks.  He says he'll start paying his CS when he goes full time.  I ask why he hasn't been to visit and he tells me that it's because he can't afford it and doesn't have a car. 

I ripped him a new asshole.  What he didn't know is that for the last several months, I've been screenshotting his Twitter, Linkedin, and website for the company he works for with his bio on it.  I know that he's been working full time since March, that he has made trips with his girlfriend all over the state, including to Orlando (where my son and I live) just LAST WEEKEND.  He can't make it here because he sold his car and bought a $1700 bicycle as transportation.  I told him not to bullshit  me because I do better research than the fucking NSA and I will throw all of that on the desk of a judge.  I have absolutely had it.

My son goes through cycles.  He spends a weekend with his dad, comes home upset because it wasn't a good visit, goes about his routine for about 4 months before he starts noticing he hasn't talked to his dad, gets sad for a while, then gives up.  Right when he gives up, the ex comes and starts the whole cycle over again.  No more.  Shit or get off the friggin pot!  This in and out business is more harmful than if he just walked out for good.  I told him this is his last chance.  If he goes more than a month without calling again I'm taking it to court and filing for sole custody.


by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 11:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jun. 16, 2013 at 11:13 PM
I'm so sorry for your son it's not fair to him
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brittybby2010
by Bronze Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 10:23 AM

Don't even give him another month! He's had plenty of time!

momto3B
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:09 AM

Why would you pick such a loser for your child's father?? It is so unfair to put all of this drama on a kid? 

Kazmira222
by Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:16 AM
2 moms liked this
Hey not everyone CHOOSES a guy like that for a father. My child's father has only seen him twice in his 6 mo of life. He doesn't work, doesn't have education, doesn't have a car and is a meth addict. My pregnancy was an accident. But I got a gorgeous child out of it an I could care less if he has a father or not. He has an awesome grandpa and that's all he needs.

Quoting momto3B:

Why would you pick such a loser for your child's father?? It is so unfair to put all of this drama on a kid? 



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
momto3B
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:28 AM

It was only an accident because you slept with him, THAT was a choice. You made a CHOICE to have sex with a loser. 


Quoting Kazmira222:

Hey not everyone CHOOSES a guy like that for a father. My child's father has only seen him twice in his 6 mo of life. He doesn't work, doesn't have education, doesn't have a car and is a meth addict. My pregnancy was an accident. But I got a gorgeous child out of it an I could care less if he has a father or not. He has an awesome grandpa and that's all he needs.

Quoting momto3B:

Why would you pick such a loser for your child's father?? It is so unfair to put all of this drama on a kid? 





brittybby2010
by Bronze Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:33 AM
3 moms liked this


Quoting momto3B:

It was only an accident because you slept with him, THAT was a choice. You made a CHOICE to have sex with a loser. 


Quoting Kazmira222:

Hey not everyone CHOOSES a guy like that for a father. My child's father has only seen him twice in his 6 mo of life. He doesn't work, doesn't have education, doesn't have a car and is a meth addict. My pregnancy was an accident. But I got a gorgeous child out of it an I could care less if he has a father or not. He has an awesome grandpa and that's all he needs.

Quoting momto3B:

Why would you pick such a loser for your child's father?? It is so unfair to put all of this drama on a kid? 





Any guy can be a Prince Charming prior to pregnancy, and once pregnancy and birth happens, most change into losers. Unless you can give us a device to see how much of a douche he will be if we have a baby with him, then I highly suggest you keep your judgement to yourself. Obviously a lot of men are damn good at fooling women into thinking they're amazing when they really aren't. That's why this forum exists. Even husbands can turn into dead beats.

mmpdrs07
by Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:39 AM
1 mom liked this

Well my ex hasn't seen his son in a month now because he wanted to put some "space" between them since the split happened.  He hasn't talked to him, seen him, or tried any type of child support and when I asked for it 3 weeks ago I got hung up on and haven't heard from him since.  Oh well now im mad and it will take a court order and child support before he see's him again.  Im done playing games!

momto3B
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:52 AM

Wrong, truly good guys DO NOT turn into losers. Guys who you did not want to SEE and ACKNOWLEDGE as LOSERS will remain so and likely get worse. 

I have NEVER dated a guy that would walk out on his child. Acutally, I don't even know men like that. I know one "baby daddy". A guy I used to date. He never married the mother of his daughter, but he bought her a her a beautiful house for she and his daughter and he and his wife share custody. 

No truly good guys do not become losers.

Quoting brittybby2010:


Quoting momto3B:

It was only an accident because you slept with him, THAT was a choice. You made a CHOICE to have sex with a loser. 


Quoting Kazmira222:

Hey not everyone CHOOSES a guy like that for a father. My child's father has only seen him twice in his 6 mo of life. He doesn't work, doesn't have education, doesn't have a car and is a meth addict. My pregnancy was an accident. But I got a gorgeous child out of it an I could care less if he has a father or not. He has an awesome grandpa and that's all he needs.

Quoting momto3B:

Why would you pick such a loser for your child's father?? It is so unfair to put all of this drama on a kid? 





Any guy can be a Prince Charming prior to pregnancy, and once pregnancy and birth happens, most change into losers. Unless you can give us a device to see how much of a douche he will be if we have a baby with him, then I highly suggest you keep your judgement to yourself. Obviously a lot of men are damn good at fooling women into thinking they're amazing when they really aren't. That's why this forum exists. Even husbands can turn into dead beats.



Kazmira222
by Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:58 AM
Yea well we dated and I fell in live with him. I had hoped he'd change his ways and he never did. I didn't find out until months later that he never loved me back.. Shit happens yo. And I'm sure your baby's daddy ain't no Prince Charming either. So drop it.


Quoting momto3B:

It was only an accident because you slept with him, THAT was a choice. You made a CHOICE to have sex with a loser. 



Quoting Kazmira222:

Hey not everyone CHOOSES a guy like that for a father. My child's father has only seen him twice in his 6 mo of life. He doesn't work, doesn't have education, doesn't have a car and is a meth addict. My pregnancy was an accident. But I got a gorgeous child out of it an I could care less if he has a father or not. He has an awesome grandpa and that's all he needs.


Quoting momto3B:

Why would you pick such a loser for your child's father?? It is so unfair to put all of this drama on a kid? 








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Kazmira222
by Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 12:01 PM
My point exactly! Well said..


Quoting brittybby2010:


Quoting momto3B:

It was only an accident because you slept with him, THAT was a choice. You made a CHOICE to have sex with a loser. 



Quoting Kazmira222:

Hey not everyone CHOOSES a guy like that for a father. My child's father has only seen him twice in his 6 mo of life. He doesn't work, doesn't have education, doesn't have a car and is a meth addict. My pregnancy was an accident. But I got a gorgeous child out of it an I could care less if he has a father or not. He has an awesome grandpa and that's all he needs.


Quoting momto3B:

Why would you pick such a loser for your child's father?? It is so unfair to put all of this drama on a kid? 







Any guy can be a Prince Charming prior to pregnancy, and once pregnancy and birth happens, most change into losers. Unless you can give us a device to see how much of a douche he will be if we have a baby with him, then I highly suggest you keep your judgement to yourself. Obviously a lot of men are damn good at fooling women into thinking they're amazing when they really aren't. That's why this forum exists. Even husbands can turn into dead beats.


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