Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Single Moms Single Moms

Should you make some changes before you date

Posted by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:50 PM
  • 15 Replies

When it comes to dating is it necessary to change anything about your looks. I have noticed that I do not get any attention from men whatsoever. Where I work men are always in and out of the store all the time and they always seem to notice the females around me but I dont get a single look. The only time they actually look is when I have on something tight, which is not at all how I dress. I wear glasses and I have thought about trying contacts. I just dont know. Sometimes I really dont feel attractive and think that I may never be in another relationship. I have a good heart, a sense of humor and a kind spirit but I have never gotten a guys attention with my personality. So Im wondering if that is really enough.  

by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 5:50 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
virginiamama71
by Carrie on Jun. 17, 2013 at 6:26 PM
1 mom liked this
I have noticed the ladies at work who got divorced, who started making changes. Losing weight, changing hair color, new clothes. Than they met someone, remarried and everything went back to the way they was. Some people feel they need to change everything to get someone but if you can show someone whats on the inside they should not concern themselves too much about whats on the outside.
Barblicious
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 7:19 PM
2 moms liked this

It isn't so much about what you look like on the outside, it is about how you feel inside about yourself.

If you lack self-esteem - your outer appearance will reflect that. If you don't care how you present yourself to the world, it shows, and it displays that you don't take an interest in your appearance. You don't have to wear slutty clothing, but putting effort into your appearance shows you care enough about yourself.

Confidence shows in that.

Oliviasmom72
by Silver Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 7:42 PM

When I want to date i automatically have the urge to spruce up my look. i usually lose a few lbs, cutr my hair, sometimes i put more effort into getting ready before i leave the house. Also I have glasses and notice sometimes I get hit on more when I wear them,others not so.

steviechick
by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 10:58 AM
1 mom liked this

I personally changed my looks.  My hair is longer and highlighted.  I have been working out at the gym and have gone running a lot more then before.  I actually work on looking good not for a future SO but for myself and my own self-esteem.  I also worry about my health.  I want to stay fit and healthy for myself but also for my daughter.  I'm the only 'family' she has except for my siblings which live out of state.  I want to attract other men but I also want to rebuild my own self-image and self-esteem.  It's not easy getting over being cheated on. I also don't want to be alone the rest of my life either.  Building myself up by improving my looks not only builds me more confidence about myself but it is nice having that second glance from men.  I'm now single and it does mean more to me to have that 'extra' then when I was married.  My ex didn't look at me and said things to me like he used to when we were first married.  I need that self-confidence factor again in my life.  I've been hurt and I want to feel 'good' inside and out again.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 12:23 PM
2 moms liked this
Smile more.

Quoting Barblicious:

It isn't so much about what you look like on the outside, it is about how you feel inside about yourself.

If you lack self-esteem - your outer appearance will reflect that. If you don't care how you present yourself to the world, it shows, and it displays that you don't take an interest in your appearance. You don't have to wear slutty clothing, but putting effort into your appearance shows you care enough about yourself.

Confidence shows in that.

Bero2007
by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 12:36 PM

That's what I'm wondering right now too. I let myself go while I was with my soon to be ex dh and feel like no one is going to be attracted to me again.  I'm working on losing weight but I don't want to be lonely forever :/

sid1083
by Silver Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 7:00 PM
1 mom liked this

Glasses seem to be the "in" thing so unless they're 80s style huge with pink rims I don't think that's the case. I know plenty of acquaintences who wear them with faux lenses.

But I agree with the confidence and smiling. I've not really changed my personal appearance (aside from becoming fatter), but I've certainly worked on my attitude and myself in general.

Besides the physical, what about a man draws your attention to them? What about another woman draws your attention to them? Personality? Facial expressions? Smell? Makeup (for women)? Attitude? Notice what others are doing that causes you to look at/converse with them and try to mimic them, but with your own style.

heretolisten
by Bronze Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 7:30 PM

Yes. It's called peacocking and although in the animal world the male does it more, but in today's superficial society and "meat market" with so many loose morals and values, women are forced to stand out to get a man's attention.  Most men today aren't looking for a relationship.  They are thinking and living with their penis so a modest woman won't likely turn a head unless she's on a dirt bike at the track.  If you want to catch a man's attention in your day to day, you will simply need to do so in an atmosphere that relates to your interests.  If you want to catch a man's attention standing behind the counter, yes, you'll have to doll it up a bit.  Keep in mind, if you skank it up, you'll only attract the attention of the penis...and you don't want that (I dont' think anyway lol).  So put on some eye makeup to make them pop, an attractive pair of capris, maybe a wedge heel or cool kicks and a shirt that reflects your personality and femininity and start sayin "hey!" when a man catches YOUR eye.... good luck.  :) 

Robsessed98
by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 7:58 PM
2 moms liked this
Keep whatever look you're comfy with. Insecurity and low self-esteem show and makes men leery. Work on your inner self and let the personality and sense of humor loose. You'll be surprised what a difference self-security makes in every aspect, not only with men.
monicas3w
by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 8:19 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't think you have to change for a person. Just make eye contact and smile. That should really be enough. And in your mind just think that you deserve postiive attraction. Stop thinking negativly about yourself. That comes through in the way you hold yourself and your demeanor. Look at your own eyes in the mirror every morning and say " this is going to be a great day, You deserve, I deserve positive attraction. I love you". Even if you don't mean it, eventually your self esteem will flourish. Also work out, exercise..it brings out wonderful endorphins. You just have to be you to find the one or the one find you. If you want a new hair color or contacts for YOU and YOU only, then do it but don't do it for someone else.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN