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HELP PLEASE!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!

Posted by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 9:42 PM
  • 27 Replies
I need advice and I'm open to honest and brutal!! My kids are soooo out of control and no amount of discipline helps and i don't honestly know why!! They are so wild and crazy and don't listen to anyone once they've been around them enough!! They are 2 and 3 and they kick, punch, bite, scream and act like they have no sense of proper behavior!! This goes way above and beyond just being a kid!! If they do something wrong they fully know that it was wrong and when i discipline them for it they laugh at being popped!! I've tried the super Nanny style of discipline and make them sit in time out for amount of minutes they are old and they always, always get out and I'm putting them right back in over and over again!! I've done the room time out thing like my dd's Neuro doc suggested and nothing i mean nothing works!! I'm trying to get them enrolled in early headstart and headstart soon but I'm afraid with these behavior problems they won't be enrolled long before they get released from the program for their behavior!! I don't know where I've failed them I'll admit i used to be a little soft on discipline but they didn't used to be that bad!! I would give a warning and then they would go back to being good and now all of a sudden it is just ridiculous as to how bad they are!! Every time i turn around they are being bad and when the punishment for the offense is done they move on to something else that is bad!! Their DR is aware of the behavior issues and hasn't offered any advice and I'm just so damn frustrated that i can't even focus and I'm so very stressed and i know they have to be stressed from all the nagging cause they just refuse to behave!! Please help any comment to help will be appreciated I'd appreciate the bashing be left out due to the fact that it isn't going to help!! I'm not perfect i just need helpful advice even if it's harsh just no bashing please!!
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 9:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
virginiamama71
by Carrie on Jun. 17, 2013 at 10:40 PM
They have not been around long enough to be that bad. What are they doing that is bad?
buzznbellesmom
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 10:57 PM
Breaking things, throwing things, hitting biting you name it they do it. I'm not trying to be dramatic honestly I'm not. They scream and run wild in public like a grocery store. I'm fine with it at a park but when we're trying to shop and they're running wild and running off. A buggy isn't an option with dd she wiggles out of the belt and then gets in the basket and tears everything up or will dive bomb to the floor. If you were to see them in action you would see why I'm struggling with behavior. All doctors recognize the issue and all have said she will probably be in behavior therapy at very least with ADD ADHD on top of it!! They're too young to have it officially diagnosed!!
sunshine389142
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:38 PM

Are you giving them any positive attention?  I know that might sound strange...but maybe it would help.  Try playing with them and always be very positive about any good behavior.  Even if it is something little...they put away something, said thank you, said something nice, did something independently, etc.  

At their age, you need to be consistent with punishment as well.  I don't know how long you have given the different techniques for dealing with their behavior, but if you give up on one too easily, maybe they just need you to stick to one.  

When it comes to acting out in public.  When they misbehave (tantrums,etc), leave wherever you are - even if its the park or the store (leave your cart - come back later).  

Don't give warnings anymore.  When my DD has really pushed me about things, I have noticed it helps if I don't give any warnings about a behavior they have previously been told is not acceptable.

I understand your frustrations.  My DD started really pushing me from 2 on.  She is almost 5.  I cant say that my DD has acted like some of your descriptions, but hopefully this helps some. 


Good luck!

Kazmira222
by Bronze Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:43 PM
A good spanking never hurts.. Lol
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buzznbellesmom
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:52 PM
Quoting sunshine389142:

Are you giving them any positive attention?  I know that might sound strange...but maybe it would help.  Try playing with them and always be very positive about any good behavior.  Even if it is something little...they put away something, said thank you, said something nice, did something independently, etc.  

At their age, you need to be consistent with punishment as well.  I don't know how long you have given the different techniques for dealing with their behavior, but if you give up on one too easily, maybe they just need you to stick to one.  

When it comes to acting out in public.  When they misbehave (tantrums,etc), leave wherever you are - even if its the park or the store (leave your cart - come back later).  

Don't give warnings anymore.  When my DD has really pushed me about things, I have noticed it helps if I don't give any warnings about a behavior they have previously been told is not acceptable.

I understand your frustrations.  My DD started really pushing me from 2 on.  She is almost 5.  I cant say that my DD has acted like some of your descriptions, but hopefully this helps some. 

Good luck!




I will try that!! I do give good attention and good praise when they do something good and i guess some days of course are worse than others but it's the same everytime we're shopping never any different but i will try what you suggested!! Thank you!!
chirpymama87
by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 12:07 AM
If they can talk, separate them for a while. Like a day or a week.
They're only doing it together because they know they can.
Separate them and it slows that crazy horse down.
Get on their level. TALK to them.
PLAY with them. Use their hyperactivity constructively.
Fingerpaint. Sidewalk chalk. Take em to a ballpark.
What state are you in?
stillstandin246
by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 9:18 PM
You mentioned your dd's Neuro? What does she see a Neuro for? The Neuro I've seen for my daughter is not likely to give me any helpful behavioral advice; he is concerned with the scientific part only. U should have Some kind of Early Childhood Intervention program in your community. Call your pediatricians office and ask them. The school district should also be able to help with a referral, though i know its summer. There is a book 1, 2, 3 Magic. Check into that. Consistency is vital, no exceptions. My daughter was evaluated at 18 months. If your kids are out of control there is likely a reason for it.
heretolisten
by Bronze Member on Jun. 19, 2013 at 2:21 AM

How much sugar are they consuming?  Try to go a day without any and see what happens.  Secondly, how much attention are they getting from you?  Are you with them or leaving them to play independently most of the time?  Are they in daycare?  Do you have full sole custody or are they spending time with their father or another family without your presence?  

starry_mom
by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 7:46 AM
Are they having any time where they can run around and be kids?
Are they consuming sugar or red dye's? Those can cause craziness...
Idk if you yell, but don't, that usually makes kids react worse; so speak to them face to face, in a low stern voice... Yelling just keeps the energy up...
After you tell them what not to do, do you redirect their behavior?
My son bit me once, so I bit him back to let him know that biting is not appropriate, nor does it feel good...
Have you tried making games and songs for positive behaviors?
As for the store, don't give in to their fits, you don't buy anything special 'to make them stop', if they start acting naughty, you warn them, 'keep it up and we're going to the car' then follow through.
FOLLOW THROUGH on what you say... So make sure your 'punishment' is something you're comfortable with... If you say that you're gonna sell them to the circus, you better follow through lol
Good luck ma... Show them lots of love
easinpc
by Gold Member on Jun. 19, 2013 at 11:53 AM

Hugs!

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