Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Single Moms Single Moms

Will it EVER be possible?

Posted by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 12:18 AM
  • 31 Replies
3 moms liked this
Will it ever be possible to forgive all those cowards that disappeared after hearing they'd be fathers?

I need to read a good book about forgiveness? Is there any?

I know forgiving is a process but will i ever be able to? There are countless details of how he left me highly indebted with a high risk pregnancy... He ran and just didnt care. How can those individuals be called human beings? Sorry i sound and AM resentful...
by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 12:18 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Jun. 19, 2013 at 12:35 AM
5 moms liked this
The best book I know about forgiveness is The Bible.
virginiamama71
by Carrie on Jun. 19, 2013 at 12:44 AM
Beautiful baby!!!!
heretolisten
by Bronze Member on Jun. 19, 2013 at 1:52 AM
1 mom liked this

IDK because I have been scouring the scripture for years now and turning to pastors, relgious sites and all sorts of articles to try to find it within myself to forgive and frankly, I just can't do it.  I know it's best for me to let it go, forgiveness grants peace, blah blah blah ... but I just can't seem to give that to him, not even "for me" (as so many like to say .. it's not for the offender, it's for yourself).   I'm going on almost 4 years and haven't been able to accept, forgive or create a sense of closure for myself.  Wish I could.  It's devastating to live like this. 

newlife2013
by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 1:27 PM
No need to apologize, they are cowards. The Oprah show on men growing up wo fathers and the one on single mothers was really good if you can watch it on OWN, otherwise books by chopra or women that have moved on after hardships are good for you, makes you stronger but you can only go so far if you cant leave the resentment behind, has to be wo the anger, pray if you can, gave me so much strength....
mom2amari
by New Member on Jun. 19, 2013 at 2:10 PM
1 mom liked this

"The Shack" is supposed to be about forgiveness.  I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but it's on my list.  I know the feeling though. I was in your situation and now (5 yrs later) I still wonder if I have totally forgiven him.  But I know that I don't hate him...if that helps??

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Jun. 19, 2013 at 2:11 PM
2 moms liked this

Not forgiving someone will do more harm to you than it does to that person. Forgive the person, recognize them for their faults, recognize yourself for your own faults and move on. Its liberating.

justuspeanuts
by Member on Jun. 19, 2013 at 2:35 PM
2 moms liked this

When you're ready to let go of it, you'll find a way to let go. It starts from within. You can read a book and it will help only if you're ready. I used to feel angry sometimes about being left holding it all down solo but he has missed out on so many wonderful things that in the end he is the one getting the seriously short end of the stick.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Jun. 19, 2013 at 6:21 PM
1 mom liked this
Yes. Thing is, you will do it for yourself, not him. Hating him Is a burden.
Barblicious
by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 6:55 PM
2 moms liked this

When we are 'wronged" by people we trusted and cared for, forgiveness is often very dificult because WE feel the blame.

We think, we should have seen it, or how could we have been so blind, or been fooled by someone, how could we have trusted that person... endlessly we ask ourselves these questions. UNTIL YOU STOP SEEKING THESE UNAVAILABLE ANSWERS you will not be able to move on.

Once you forgive yourself for trusting, for loving, for caring and for getting hurt... you will let go. 

You don't ever have to forgive anyone for treating you wrong. 

But you have to love yourself and accept that you were hurt. Accept that it was not your fault (sometimes not 100% but still) and you survived. You will live on. You will love again. You will trust again.

SingleMommy36
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 10:41 AM

I agree about the bible. Proverbs is a great place to find little tidbits of wisdom that helped me forgive my cheating husband who was freaked out by parenthood. Even though I have no interest in reconciliation, I have forgiven him and it has totally set me free. These lyrics are great too by Matthew west:

 Play sample

It's the hardest thing to give away
And the last thing on your mind today
It always goes to those that don't deserve

It's the opposite of how you feel
When the pain they caused is just too real
It takes everything you have just to say the word...

Forgiveness
Forgiveness

It flies in the face of all your pride
It moves away the mad inside
It's always anger's own worst enemy
Even when the jury and the judge 
Say you gotta right to hold a grudge
It's the whisper in your ear saying 'Set It Free'

Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Show me how to love the unlovable
Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible

Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness

It'll clear the bitterness away
It can even set a prisoner free
There is no end to what it's power can do
So, let it go and be amazed
By what you see through eyes of grace
The prisoner that it really frees is you

Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Show me how to love the unlovable
Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness

I want to finally set it free
So show me how to see what Your mercy sees
Help me now to give what You gave to me
Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN