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Is it normal for first time, single moms to be so nervous about having thier first child and being alone?

Posted by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 1:01 PM
  • 10 Replies

I am having my little girl in august. I am so happy to have her and she moves around so much. The part that scares me is that my husband and I are going through a divorce (He wants it) and Im just getting really nervous as the due date is coming closer and closer. I know I am going to be an awesome mom. I have a lot of sisters and a lot of nieces and nephews....I guess its just all a little overwhelming right now. I cant wait to have my little miracle and I know I am going to be a great mommy, but financially, my husband shut off our joint bank account, left me with nothing. So needless to say, I am at my parents house living now and I have to start all over on everything. I mean, he wont even talk to me. Enough about him though, its all about my daughter and I now. I know this is just a bump in my life and My daughter and I will get through it. I am a strong person, dont mistake that when you are reading this......I have three more classes to do in college before I get my associates....Its just....this whole divorce caught me so off quard. I never seen it coming and I'm just trying to fight my way through this all and stay strong for me and my daughter.

by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 1:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
shelley11709
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 1:17 PM
I was terrified the closer my due date got and I was happily married at the time. It's normal for any mom to be nervous about bringing a new life into the world. It means you care and you want to do a good job.

ETA:
Sorry you are going through hard times with your husband at this time. Good luck to you and your daughter.
Robsessed98
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 7:23 PM
It's perfectly normal to feel that way during the first and every pregnancy, whether you're married or single. When you have the custody order filed, he will have to pay support and under some circumstances alimony. You will worry about the baby no matter what from now on (my oldest is 25 and I still worry) but don't stress yourself over it.
LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jun. 23, 2013 at 10:30 AM

Its normal to be nervous about your first child in general .  You will be great and it wont be easy.  Take it day by day!

kitcal78
by Gigi on Jun. 23, 2013 at 9:21 PM
I eas the same way the closer I got to my delivery date. My son is 15 months old I'm still amazed at how much he is like me. I still worry like I did when I was pregnant with him. It's normal to experience a range of emotions during and after pregnancy.
Smileyneni
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 1:13 AM

I know how you feel. I feel exact the same. This baby will come september and I'm a single mom that live with my parents. I know it will be hard! I still need to go to college and find a job. But we can do it!! :)

happymommy1105
by Gold Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:48 AM

i think no matter what baby you are on, you are nervous to become a mom again.  i was more nervous for my second than i was my first.  

anyway you look at it- it will sort itself out.  keep your head and keep moving forward.  do your best to stay positive.  

and if you want to PM you can- i recently started doing some direct sales kinda things and make pretty okay with it!

massconfusion14
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:58 AM

I was mortified. I was so stressed that I was taking it out on EVERYONE. I was an emotional wreck. But there is a big difference between your situation and mine. I lived alone and had no one who would be able to help me and I knew that. I was worried if I got a c-section, how would I care for my daughter. You will not be alone and I'm sure your parents will be more than willing to help you. And my advice - if they offer to do something for you, take the offer. I'm not saying that if I did have a parent living with me, I would not have been scared it was just amplified by being alone.

That said, after my daughter was born, it was like an instant relief. She was here safely and I had her in my arms and I was no longer alone even though I knew I had to do everything for us. Just hang in there and if you feel like you get in a panic mode, no matter what you are doing you should sit down and take deep breaths and focus only on your baby (such as feeling for kicks and rubbing your belly to play with her). That helped me.

steviechick
by on Jun. 27, 2013 at 3:41 PM

It's hard being alone and raising a child.  Now add a marriage that has broken up.   It has to be hard getting over a love, a life and a future family.  I found a happier life when my ex and I broke up.  If he truly loved me and respected me in the process he woldn't have hurt me nor my daughter.  Sometimes love just isn't enough and sometimes you just have to let things go. 

You are going to have a baby.  Focus on that happiness and eventually you will let go of something that wasn't meant to be. 

Britt2015
by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 7:59 AM

Thank you. I really appreciate that advice. It was just what I needed to hear seeing as how I just woke up and I was feeling all depressed again. Im getting better though. I will be depressed one second, then the next I will be just fine. I guess thats what they call hormones. :)

I know I will find a life again,your right though. I feel like my family, Hell, like my life was taken right out from underneath me. I am scared, I just want to do whats best for my daughter and I will. Its just I have to juggle so many things right now and I have so many things on my plate right now. Im hurt and confused still as to why this all happened. Your right though, in time, everything will work out just fine. I just need to be strong for my little girl and find peace with the whole situation.

steviechick
by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 10:05 AM

group hug

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