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Just STOP please.... it's annoying

Posted by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 10:49 PM
  • 90 Replies
4 moms liked this

Ok, I'm going to add at the beginning. By the post below, my point is that it's annoying for people to say they don't have something but they really do - in this case, help. Yes I rant a little about how hard I have it, but it's not meant to belittle any single mothers, that part is just a rant. I did originally write I'm sick of single moms doing this, but that was mainly meant for my friend (local friend, not on here) who does this - complains she doesn't have ANY help and she does it ALL alone, but her mom lives with her and I know for a fact that almost every night her mom cooks and cleans.. But again, I'm not trying to compare how hard I have it to you ladies, I'm just annoyed by people saying they have no help when they really do. THAT'S ALL.

I am not making this anon and don't care what crap I may get for this, but I am damn sick of these stupid "single moms" and even moms with husbands or significant others complaining about how hard it is then they say that they have had help. Such as, don't say how hard you had it if you had the baby's father there at the birth of your child. Or if you lived with a parent or friend when the child was born. Or if you lived with a no good man who "didn't help". First of all, if your child's father was there at the birth at least he cared enough to see the baby come out. If you lived with a friend or parent, don't start the single parent shit with me because you obviously had help whether it be sweeping the floor, making dinner, doing laundry, etc. If you had a no good man who "didn't help" well I'm sure he did something, be it put a dish in the sink or wipe down the bathroom sink or change ONE diaper. I have done it 100% on my own. No help at all. My daughter did not sleep through the night until she was 10 months old and I was working 8-5 Monday through Friday. I was working on 2, MAYBE 3 hours of sleep. I have to shop whether my kid is sick, grumpy, hungry, etc. Until she was about 6 months old, I hardly even had time to eat a frozen heat up meal because my daughter was extremely colicky. So, stop bitching that your husband didn't load the dishwasher the right way, put your kid in ff at 13 months, 22 lbs when it's perfectly legal and if you get in a bad enough accident, the kid is going to get hurt no matter how you look at it. Stop bitching if your husband decides he needs a quick break and does something for himself like going fishing because I'm pretty sure he gives you breaks too... at least you have him there to help. Stop bitching that you "didn't have anyone" when you lived with your damn parents for the first year of you kids life. And PLEASE stop bitching because your stupid no good husband is just dead weight and gives you more work... if it's that bad and you think you'd be better off without him, LEAVE HIM! If he's just dead weight, it would be easier without him, right?? Sorry about my rant.. and if you're offended, you're probably offended because something I wrote above describes you.

 

I would like to add something. I feel like I'm getting bashed for my post and while I don't care, there are alot of likes on posts where they say we are here to support each other. I'm not attacking anyone in particular, I'm just venting because I have had very hard times and get tired of people (like my "best friend") saying how hard they have it as if I have it so easy. Instead of bashing or attacking me, how about some words of encouragement to someone who is going through a rough time..... such as be supportive as you say this group is for.

by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 10:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 10:55 PM
9 moms liked this
Since I haven't walked a mile in anyone else's shoes I don't even try to judge whether their life is easier or harder than mine. Plus I'm too busy living my life and taking care of my business.
erinmomofone
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 11:02 PM
Okay then. It's not easy being a single mom alone or with some help. I dont know I don't care if its easier or not we support others.
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krisnkids
by Silver Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 11:05 PM
15 moms liked this

While I can sympathize with the struggles you have been through, I cannot condone you justifying your life is so much more difficult than someone else because you have had to do everything on your own.

Is it easier to be on your own or be mentally/physically/emotionally abused daily and unable to leave that person?

Is it easier to live with a compulsive gambler/drinker/addict who wipes out the bank account and leaves no money for food and diapers?

Is it easier to send your husband to war to have someone else come home in his place and physically and mentally abuse your kids?

Is it easier to live with 'family' who degrade your attempts at making it on your own and put you down at every chance they get?

Is it easier to move cross country with 4 children, no family, no friends, no job; just a dire need to leave the state?

My point is everyone has their struggles. We as single moms are here to support one another, not decide who has it harder or easier than another. Personally I have 4 kids, I can gurantee you its a lot harder having 4 kids than it is to have 1. Oh and two are add, that's a whole heck of alot harder to deal with than non-add kids. I could go on but that's not the point.

JCSmommy2
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 11:08 PM
Quoting Andrewsmom70:

Since I haven't walked a mile in anyone else's shoes I don't even try to judge whether their life is easier or harder than mine. Plus I'm too busy living my life and taking care of my business.



Amen.
massconfusion14
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 11:11 PM

 I know, and I was ranting. I know I posted on your post... this post isn't about you, it's about a compliation of people who bitch on here (or to me in person) about how hard they have it and I just want to slap them sometimes.............. such as my boss because his wife is a CPA and is busy from January to April, he bitches about her not being able to help, but then he says that she does all of the grocery shopping even during her busy season. So it's more of people who bitch about how hard they have it then in the next sentence, contradict themselves by saying that their SO helps them in some way.


Quoting erinmomofone:

Okay then. It's not easy being a single mom alone or with some help. I dont know I don't care if its easier or not we support others.


 

Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 11:11 PM
2 moms liked this
I just don't understand why it even matters if my life is harder or easier than someone else's. It's not like we get a prize or something.
massconfusion14
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 11:13 PM
Um, I'm not trying to put others down, but like I said in another reply, I'm more of talking about people who complain about one thing then immediately contradict what they say.
Quoting krisnkids:

While I can sympathize with the struggles you have been through, I cannot condone you justifying your life is so much more difficult than someone else because you have had to do everything on your own.

Is it easier to be on your own or be mentally/physically/emotionally abused daily and unable to leave that person?

Is it easier to live with a compulsive gambler/drinker/addict who wipes out the bank account and leaves no money for food and diapers?

Is it easier to send your husband to war to have someone else come home in his place and physically and mentally abuse your kids?

Is it easier to live with 'family' who degrade your attempts at making it on your own and put you down at every chance they get?

Is it easier to move cross country with 4 children, no family, no friends, no job; just a dire need to leave the state?

My point is everyone has their struggles. We as single moms are here to support one another, not decide who has it harder or easier than another. Personally I have 4 kids, I can gurantee you its a lot harder having 4 kids than it is to have 1. Oh and two are add, that's a whole heck of alot harder to deal with than non-add kids. I could go on but that's not the point.


kidlover2
by Bronze Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 11:14 PM
9 moms liked this
You're not the only single mom who has gone through hardships. Your situation is no better or worse than anyone else's. Victimhood and the " I've had it worse than anybody and nobody understands" doesn't do any good and isn't true. You can choose to be a victim or a survivor. It's all in your attitude in life.
dtm1491
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 11:17 PM
1 mom liked this
I have done it 100% on my own too and I am not angry at the ones who didn't. Everyone's lives are different.
erinmomofone
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 11:19 PM
We all have it hard! for me I was abused by my child's dad and raped by him. I am not understanding you and saying all this stuff.
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