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Adoption or keeping it (I HAVE MADE MY DECISION)

Posted by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:38 AM
  • 11 Replies

Hi ladies! I bet most of you have seen my other post and know what I am going through. Well I want to let you all know that i have made my decsion. I also told my mom everything today. Befor I even told her I started crying. She didn't yelled at me. So I am keeping my baby even though it will be hard and I AM GOING TO BE A SINGLE MOTHER. I don't want to see this baby father ever again he doesn't exist for me no more.Since me and him weren't together no more I found out that he has a girlfriend by someone else and also we haven't talked since wednesday and he doesn't know I know all this. I also found out that he was with other girls and now I know why he kept saying this baby will be a problem and drama and why he didn't want it, well still doesn't.  I haven't seen him or talk to him and yesterday I couldn't stop crying. I don't know what I did or what I did to him to deserve all this. But I can say thanks to this baby I am staying strong and everytime I'm sad or crying I feel my baby move and I look down and know I  am not alone. My mom and family and friends are supporting me. My mom doesn't want me to see him again and I wasn't planning to. I don't even want him to come back and look for MY child. after what he has been doing and the way he been acting and also everything he has done behind my back. I can't even forget the day he called my baby THAT THING YOU HAVE INSIDE YOU. or we need to take care of this SHIT. My baby won't need him cause as a father he/she will have me and my brothers and guys cousin said they  are their father so my baby will have more than one daddy. It's so hard right now and I'm new in all this and now I don't know what to do if I should put him on child support or not. He's leaving the country next month well he told me he will be gone for 5 or more years but I also found out that he told someone he talks to and also talks to me that he will be gone for one yr or 2 so i guess he was lying to me? Honestly I don't want to leave the door open for him to see my baby and my baby will have my last name too and no I don't even want his family later on to be chasing after my baby. My mom did told me that if he cared he would of worked out things with his family and told them about all this and woud of done anything to work all this out and wouldn't care what his parents will do or think. But I'll admit he's a bitch (sorry for my bad language) but I'm so mad and I still can't believe all this he played me really good and I feel soo stupid! I think I'll never be able to forgive him. I'm just happy my mom understood me and that she is going to help me. I couldn't see my baby on someone else arms that are not mine. I'll try my best to be a good mom and always be there for my munchkin. Thank you ladies for your advice and help and support it means a lot and you girls did help me out. Thank you! :)

I'm staying strong I can do this!

by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
woodstock525
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 8:49 AM

I'm glad that you told your mom and that she and your family are being supportive of you.  The choice on whether to pursue for child support is yours, however if you truly do not want him in your life at all, I would not pursue the child support angle.  Once there is an order for child support, many times that tends to spur a man to also want a visitation order whether you want him in the child's life or not. 

I thought the story of 5 years overseas was a bit fishy.  We live in an area where alot of folks go overseas like that, but it is usually for no more than a year or two at the most.  If it were me, I'd say good riddance and handle this child on my own.  He's already shown that he isn't a good choice for a dad.

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jun. 24, 2013 at 8:52 AM
I'm glad things worked out with your mom. File for sole custody immediately up to you about the child support
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virginiamama71
by Carrie on Jun. 24, 2013 at 10:04 AM

 I am happy for you.

Oliviasmom72
by Silver Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 11:43 AM

Good for you. Baby Daddy is an idiot but you already know that.

After the birth you can file for child support and you will have establish paternity via DNA test. If he is going to be out of the country this may be problematic. Is he a US citizen? What country is he going to? Depending on where he is moving you may or may not have a problem, it largely depends on if this country is part of the Hague Convention and if they have an agreement with the US.

LnghrnFan
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 4:08 PM

I'm so glad your family is being supportive and that you were able to come to a decision.  Being a single mom isn't easy, but you sound like a strong person.  And you obviously want what is best for your baby.  Blessings to you!

dawncs
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 4:55 PM

I am so glad that your Mom will be there for you and your beautiful baby. You are worth much more than a cheater in your life relationship wise. I recommend if you do not have your college degree that you go for one if you have not done so yet because it can make it easier at times supporting yourself and your baby. You can do this through your local community college as a start. You can find out how to afford college by completing: http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/.

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

Smileyneni
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 6:26 PM

Thanks and yea he is a big one.

And yes he is a US citizen and he is leaving to Dubai.


Quoting Oliviasmom72:

Good for you. Baby Daddy is an idiot but you already know that.

After the birth you can file for child support and you will have establish paternity via DNA test. If he is going to be out of the country this may be problematic. Is he a US citizen? What country is he going to? Depending on where he is moving you may or may not have a problem, it largely depends on if this country is part of the Hague Convention and if they have an agreement with the US.



Oliviasmom72
by Silver Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 8:31 PM

Dubia is part of the UAE. It does not look like you may have much luck getting a US child support order. Also if he has a US passport he will have it revoked once he goes into $5k or more in arrears. i would still file for support but if you actually get any is anyones guess. If he is working for an American company, you might have some luck.

 

Oliviasmom72
by Silver Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 8:39 PM

Here is an article, it appears Dubai is not signatory to the Hague Convention so they probably would not endorce a US child support order. I certainly would NOT ever allow him to take the child to Dubai for visits either.

http://www.internationalfamilylawfirm.com/2011/02/international-custody-battle-over-girl.html

Smileyneni
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 11:54 PM
1 mom liked this

Thank you for your help! means a lot! <3


Quoting Oliviasmom72:

Here is an article, it appears Dubai is not signatory to the Hague Convention so they probably would not endorce a US child support order. I certainly would NOT ever allow him to take the child to Dubai for visits either.

http://www.internationalfamilylawfirm.com/2011/02/international-custody-battle-over-girl.html



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