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40/60 custody to 50/50

Posted by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 4:50 AM
  • 12 Replies

Currently, due to him wanting me to have more child support,  my ex and I agreed on 40/60 custody.  I have them 60 percent (not sure if that is true down to exact hours)  anyway.   I have them Wednesday afternoon (12) to Sunday noon.  He has them the other days.    I don't have any weekends child free.   I would like to move toward a more fifty fifty split but worry about the effect on the kids etc.  In addition, during the school year I have two of my kids every morning (they catch the bus from my place of work and have one of them every afternoon after school.   The reason mainly is I am dating a wonderful man who is also divorced.  He has his child custody split one week on one week off with each parent having a whole weekend to themselves.  When I have asked for a weekend off it has been met with I can't.  I am figuring if I had the weekend already off I wouldn't have to make other arrangements other than swapping weekends if necessary.  I guess what I am really asking advice about it whether I should rock the boat or just leave it as is.  I am so confused.  My kids are fifteen, thriteen and seven.  The fifteen year old is almost to the point she just wants to live with me anyway.


by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 4:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LauraMH
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 7:42 AM
2 moms liked this
I would discourage changing the kids schedule to accommodate a new man. I think it may eventually lead to resentment. If the older one wants to live with you only, why would you have them go to dads more often? The kids should come first. If this new man is the right one he will be ok with how you have it. It it's ment to be it will be, but don't make your kids feel like they are coming in second in your life.
LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jun. 24, 2013 at 8:55 AM
Just be ready for when you ask for him to take them a certain weekend he wont
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shelley11709
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 11:35 AM
Just my opinion but the reasons you are giving for wanting to change your KIDS' schedule around are selfish. You want a weekend off from being a parent so you can have alone time with your boyfriend? What about what is best for your kids? Maybe that is judgmental on my part but I think you need to look at your reasons for changing your kids' routine.

That being said I had a similar situation with time spent with parents while I was growing up. I would spend Saturday-Monday with my dad and Tuesday-Thursday with my mom and the alternate Fridays. They set it up that way because my dad had weekends off and my mom had Wednesday/Thursday off. So I was with my parents on their weekends. I asked for the schedule to be changed when I was going into middle school because it was too much of a hassles to change houses midweek with school. So I asked for one week with one parent then the next with the other. But that was my choice as the kid.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 3:42 PM
I don't think there is anything selfish about wanting a weekend kids free. I thought of that when I split w my ex. A small change isn't a terrible thing. I wouldn't do it soley for a bf. but to get some me time I would.
Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 3:51 PM
I've always put my son first and fit my life around my time with him. I plan my me time for when my son is with his dad.
newlife2013
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:46 PM
I think your ex will see the reason wo any details and it will seem selfish, you're in love, may it all work out, but the father is involved in their lives, I wouldn't change things since it may affect how peaceful things are.
beanie2
by Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 10:06 PM

update:  I decided to leave things the way they are.   The reason is not primarily for the boyfriend,  I have gone back and forth on this issue in my mind several times before I met this guy.   I had pretty much decided to leave it the way it is before I posted but sometimes seeing things in print helps cement the decision.  I always have put my chidlren first,  thus why I have the larger custody time.     


Barblicious
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 2:02 AM

Damn straight! I NEVER get one weekend to myself, never get to sleep in if I want to, or go out late with girlfriends, let alone a date night with my man. It sucks. If you want it, ask for it. I wish I could, but my ex "works" in a bar every weekend and will never consider changing his life style. 


Quoting faerie75:

I don't think there is anything selfish about wanting a weekend kids free. I thought of that when I split w my ex. A small change isn't a terrible thing. I wouldn't do it soley for a bf. but to get some me time I would.



Mamitavictoria
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 2:15 AM
I wish I had my kids 60 percent of the time. Would never rearrange my kids s life to accomodate a man...they always come first
ochoa.mama
by Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 5:27 AM

well I think you also deserve your OWN happiness, it should be 50/50, why should you have to make arragments, or get a sitter, sounds insaine, I hate the fact we take on alot more resposability and have less fun, I think you should do it!

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