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How do I find the courage to leave?

Posted by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:19 AM
  • 25 Replies
And break up my family? And break my dd's heart. But he never admits fault, it's always all me, and he's rude and mean and I'm sick of it! I wish we didn't have kids, I would've left ages ago.
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:19 AM
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Replies (1-10):
woodstock525
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:22 AM

Have you tried to go through counseling? 

BabyPink07
by Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:23 AM
He wont
momma_2013
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:24 AM
You need to explain to her that its not okay to let a man be mean.... and that you and her daddy still loves its just stometimes love is strong enough for you both to work it out... good luck
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woodstock525
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:29 AM
2 moms liked this
Quoting momma_2013:

You need to explain to her that its not okay to let a man be mean.... and that you and her daddy still loves its just stometimes love is strong enough for you both to work it out... good luck

I disagree.  This is telling the child that her dad is mean and is the start of PAS.  All you will end up doing is  turning your daughter against her dad, which if that's what you want...then I feel sorry for her. 

My suggestion would be to consult a counselor on your own if your hubby won't go so that you can learn how to change yourself since you can't' change him.  And, so you can learn an appropriate way to tell your daughter that you are leaving her dad if that is what you end up doing. 


dtm1491
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:36 AM

I agree. You haven't said that he is also mean to dd as well so I see no reason to call him out to his child. She will see how he treats you for herself and no words will be needed which isn't healthy for her. Or you. Good luck to you!

Quoting woodstock525:

Quoting momma_2013:

You need to explain to her that its not okay to let a man be mean.... and that you and her daddy still loves its just stometimes love is strong enough for you both to work it out... good luck

I disagree.  This is telling the child that her dad is mean and is the start of PAS.  All you will end up doing is  turning your daughter against her dad, which if that's what you want...then I feel sorry for her. 

My suggestion would be to consult a counselor on your own if your hubby won't go so that you can learn how to change yourself since you can't' change him.  And, so you can learn an appropriate way to tell your daughter that you are leaving her dad if that is what you end up doing. 



lazyd
by Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:37 PM
1 mom liked this

I feel exactly like you do and am in the process of a divorce.  

momma_2013
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:52 PM
Thats not what i ment.... you can explain that you both just couldnt get along... and it all depends on if he is mean to her... if he is mean to the child then i sure would let my childern know its not okay to be mean.... every one has their own way to explain.... hope you can find it in your own words! like i said good luck


Quoting woodstock525:


Quoting momma_2013:

You need to explain to her that its not okay to let a man be mean.... and that you and her daddy still loves its just stometimes love is strong enough for you both to work it out... good luck

I disagree.  This is telling the child that her dad is mean and is the start of PAS.  All you will end up doing is  turning your daughter against her dad, which if that's what you want...then I feel sorry for her. 

My suggestion would be to consult a counselor on your own if your hubby won't go so that you can learn how to change yourself since you can't' change him.  And, so you can learn an appropriate way to tell your daughter that you are leaving her dad if that is what you end up doing. 




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BabyPink07
by Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 1:39 PM
I've started apartment hunting and trying to find a lawyer and counseling. I'm just scared I guess. I have no family close to where I live, and my best friend is moving away. Should I just stay just to keep my family together? I don't know.
BabyPink07
by Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 1:41 PM
He has his moments, but he loves her. The way he's mean is back handed and passive aggressive so she doesn't see it. I'd never turn her against him though!


Quoting momma_2013:

Thats not what i ment.... you can explain that you both just couldnt get along... and it all depends on if he is mean to her... if he is mean to the child then i sure would let my childern know its not okay to be mean.... every one has their own way to explain.... hope you can find it in your own words! like i said good luck




Quoting woodstock525:



Quoting momma_2013:

You need to explain to her that its not okay to let a man be mean.... and that you and her daddy still loves its just stometimes love is strong enough for you both to work it out... good luck

I disagree.  This is telling the child that her dad is mean and is the start of PAS.  All you will end up doing is  turning your daughter against her dad, which if that's what you want...then I feel sorry for her. 

My suggestion would be to consult a counselor on your own if your hubby won't go so that you can learn how to change yourself since you can't' change him.  And, so you can learn an appropriate way to tell your daughter that you are leaving her dad if that is what you end up doing. 






BabyPink07
by Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 1:42 PM
I'm sorry. It sucks. I'm just sick of crying bc of him, kwim?


Quoting lazyd:

I feel exactly like you do and am in the process of a divorce.  


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