My daughters (18 and 15) have lived with me all their lives and I had joint custody with their father, whose been very involved with them and a great dad. I got married again after that and divorced 6 years ago. My daughters had grown accustomed to it just being us and me dating, but nothing too serious. I met a wonderful man a year ago and fell madly in love. We have lived together for 6 months now. They were always involved and he treated them with great generosity and kindness. He of course insn't perfect and they didn't like certain aspects of his personality, they say too cocky. He never tried to parent them, however he did support me (first time I had this) so I felt more confident to stand my ground. But he never said a word. He once yelled at my youngest when she was yelling and screaming and pounding on our bedroom door and I was in the shower and he asleep. She and my oldest daughter have held a grudge against him for that, even though he apologized. We have also had fights and I unfortunately have also vented to them at times. I knew then and now it was a terrible mistake. I moved out irrationally after my daughters graduation, being emotional and having family feeding the fire. They weren't there, but they expressed how happy they were. I however was heart broken and very clear more than ever that we were IT. We loved each other and would spend the rest of our lives doing so and raising our children. I moved back the next day lol. In a moment of weakness I had toppled. From the bottom of my heart I reached out to my girls and expressed my innermost heart. They could not accept that I loved both them and him. They said they would never speak to me again. They then began to call my boyfriend over and over and text many explicit, extremely disrespectful messages. He texted each back and told them we loved each other and they could not make a choice of who I would date or be with.
That was a month ago. Since then my girls and I have hung out doing different activities together. My boyfriend says the girls should not come back to the house and not apologize and I agree, and they refuse to apologize. They say they hate him and will never forgive him for him taking me away from them. I explained that my love for them hasn't changed and never will!!! But because I will not move out they say I have abandoned them. I start feeling so confused! Are my daughters running my life like so many have said, is my boyfriend an A**hole like my daughters say and I cannot see it??? I feel I should stand my ground and be solid with the man I love and show the girls consistency and love. Is this the right choice?
on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:21 PM