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just want opinions...new boyfriend

Posted by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 3:44 PM
  • 162 Replies
1 mom liked this
Ok so ill try to make this as short as possible because its an extremely long story. My husband divorced me when I was pregnant with our son. he's 1 now and we have a 5 year old. this post isn't about him. its about a guy I have been dating for 7 months.
We dated briefly back in high school but my parents forbid it because he is african american. we are now 31 and 32 and he messaged me on fb 7 months ago. since then its been a whirlwind romance. I tried to pump the brakes on it so to speak because it was my first relationship after my divorce but that didn't last long. I fell for him and hard. I introduced him to my kids, ETC... my parents hated everything about him from the beginning. I live with them and have since I divorced. They forbid him from coming over here, etc... at first I didn't see what the problem was but slowly I opened my eyes to the way he was.
He's had 5 jobs in 7 months. got fired from his last one because he got in a fight with another coworker. He doesnt have a car of his own. a house or apartment of his own (HE JUST BOUNCES AROUND FROM FAMILY MEMBER TO FAMILY MEMBER) he drinks and heavily at times. he smokes weed. all things I am avidly against. especially around my kids. I left him and told him when he's ready to quit to call me. he of course sucked me back in and things have been good. we planned to get an apartment and were supposed to move out friday until I found a weed wrapper and blunt on my parents deck a day ago. I just don't know if I can look past drug use. he also has a problem with my daughter and how she acts but she seems to only act that way around him. I know what I need to do. its just time to drop him but I want to hear what you think and maybe from women who have been through this. don't get me wrong he's loving and sweet to my kids and I. things haven't always been crazy but I need my kids and i respected 100 percent of the time not 50. FEEL FREE TO BE A FRANK AS YOU WANT. QUITE FRANKLY I NEED IT LOL
by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 3:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
krisnkids
by Gold Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 3:59 PM
32 moms liked this

Okay, take this as being frank.

WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU??????

You are letting yourself be attached to a drunk, drug addicted, unemployed..... I could go on and on but you get the idea. You are old enough to realize that your parents do know what they are talking about. There are reasons that they don't like him; smokes weed, can't hold a job, drunk etc. A boyfriend is supposed to be your equal, not another child that you have to deal with. You deserve that, and from what you just wrote this bf is everything but.

burgqueen
by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 4:31 PM
8 moms liked this
Soooooo you plan on moving in with this guy who has no means of supporting himself?

Good luck and I suggest you respect your parents while you live in their house. How did he leave a weed wrapper if you don't bring him around? O_o

Distance yourself from him. You'er vulnerable and are becoming desperate
supercarp
by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 4:36 PM
7 moms liked this

Run, don't walk, the opposite direction from this guy. What do you mean, you don't KNOW if you can look past drug use. You can't. He's a loser. Quit introducing guys to your kids until you've dated for a year.

Barblicious
by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 4:44 PM
4 moms liked this

You can never change a person, and he isn't worth the trouble he causes. Think of your kids.

chirpymama87
by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 5:02 PM
20 moms liked this
Ew.
All of what you described.
Your CHILDREN come FIRST above ANY man.

The bitch side of me says: Is fukking a guy worth more than raising your children and having a decent relationship with their grandparents?!! If so, disgusting!

The nice side of me... agrees with my bitch side. Lol
Oliviasmom72
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 7:14 PM
2 moms liked this

This guy is pretty much a loser. He is how old? 32? and he has no car, hope from job to job, does not even have his own place and smokes weed.

Run Forest, Run!!!

Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 7:30 PM
7 moms liked this
You seriously have to ask for input here? Did you not read what you typed?
ShannyLouisiany
by Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 7:33 PM
no no no no no. lose him NOW! lawd!!!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
cholita1978
by Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 7:42 PM
20 moms liked this
Wow, I can't believe what I just read, the guy is a total loser, and the biggest red flag is '"he has issues with your daughter" and you are moving in with him? Why is dick more important than your kids and your parents?
I understand a woman has needs, but I tell you one thing I'll be an old single woman before I bring any man around my precious daughter, especially a man like you just describe, stay far away
Oliviasmom72
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 8:04 PM
22 moms liked this
You need to know that once an unrelated male moves into a house, the risk of child abuse skyrockets by at least 7 times. Toddler boys, which you have, seem to be at the highest risk of abuse from boyfriends due to potty training and being non verbal. You also have a 5 year old which it sounds like he has no idea how to parent. This man is a bum and if I were your ex I would be pursuing some sort of custody, esp, after you admit something is off with this guy and yet you still want to live with him?? WHY???? He is a loser and a safety risk to your kids. Since this guy does not work you are not going to let this guy babysit are you?? For some reason I picture seeing the news and a report on how a boyfriend has been arrested in abusing his girlfriends children. I see this all the time and 80% of the time its moms creepy boyfriend. Sadly I see you becoming another statistic. Please rethink this arrangement which is sure to end in nothing but disaster.
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