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if dad is not around, do you try to make up for it

Posted by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 8:50 PM
  • 14 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Do you do more activities and go more places to compensate for your kids dad not being around?

Options:

yes

no

other-explain


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 19

View Results

I am always trying to find activities and places to go with my children even if its just to the library for storytime or that park. I had someone tell me that i'm trying to compensate for their dad not being around. I know i can never replace him, but maybe i am compensating so they don't feel that void as much.
by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 8:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Sj218
by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 8:55 PM
Absolutely I do. My son is 9 and we've only been on our own for a year. I want him to have a ton of memories of all the stuff that him and mom got to do. I want him to know that we're hurt, be we are just fine and we can and will have a wonderful life even though dad chose not to be a part of it.
macbudsmom
by Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 8:58 PM
Their Dad was distant the last several years. Came back very active for a year. Now hasnt taken the kids since his wife had their new baby. Feel so bad for my kiddos so I do try to over compensate.
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woodstock525
by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 10:36 PM

I always did things with and for my kids, so when I divorced I did nothing else differently.  I didn't want to get into a competition with their dad and didn't want them to a) act up because they were CODs and b) think they could get anything/everything because I felt guilty over the divorce and was trying to make up for dad not being there 24/7.  It's hard to strike a balance, but I think it's important to do so.  You can go broke and crazy trying to do it all for your kids, not to mention get plain old worn out.

ShannyLouisiany
by Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 10:38 PM
I ALWAYS overcompensated. very much so. so much so, in fact, that I've spoiled them. double-edged sword...
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MIMIBRIE
by Jayme on Jun. 25, 2013 at 11:51 PM

 I do sometimes. I just dont want them to ever feel they are going without.

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jun. 25, 2013 at 11:55 PM
DS has never had his dad but I try and bring him around positive males. I don't think I do anything extra or special maybe play a bit rougher
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sunshine389142
by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 11:57 PM

I don't think I try to compensate for his lack of presence.  I try to give more to my daughter because I want to be able to do more than I can...its more like I am trying to compensate for my lack of support/income.  I have always tried to do a lot of different activities though....so it hasn't really changed.  I am just starting to get to the point where I can focus more and do more of the things I want to do with her.

I spoil her because of me.....I always want to do for her, and I always probably do too much lol.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:53 AM
It's good to spend extra time and love bit there is a point where it becomes guilt parenting and that ain't good for anyone.
3tobe13
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 1:13 AM

I voted other because what I do with and for my kids has nothing to do with their dad not being around as much. I'd do the same things with or without their dad. 

ochoa.mama
by Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 5:31 AM

YES!  Guilty of that one, big time. I spent All my time and money on just my kids to make them feel they don't need or are missing out. I know they are or feel like it sometimes but I also know I'm more responsable and a much better parent for the both of us, some ppl are just not fit to be parents even when they willing make babies

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