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How important is occupation?

Posted by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 4:35 PM
  • 38 Replies

So im on POF, have been for 2 years.  So I get a message from a guy today.  I check out his profile.  It says "Self employed so dont ask".  Then his whole "about me" paragraph talks about how women always ask first thing what he does because we all need someone to take care of us.  Says nothing about himself...just that.  So I decide to play with him for a bit since I am NOT interested in dating him.  I respond to his very well thought out "Hi" message with this :

Me: Women ask what you do for a living because we dont want to be stuck with a loser with a nowhere job anymore than you guys want to be stuck with a woman with no job asking you to support her. Thats why we ask and its an important question.

Him: Yes i agree but for it to be your first question sounds like a gold digger to me I'm not saying ever girl on here is a gold digger 

Me: Better to find out in the beginning if he is a loser than on the 2nd or 3rd date.

Him: So if the guy is disabled and can't work he is a loser & self employed means just that why does anyone need to know more then that? If a guys first question to you was what do you do for a living then you would some idea that he was a loser looking for someone to keep them up

Me: Disabled? I'd pass because again, I don't want to take care of someone. I don't mind when guys ask what I do, they have every right to make sure I support myself. Self employed can mean "i draw tattoos on my friends in my garage for cash". It can mean a lot of things, not all good.


So am I wrong here????? 

by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 4:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
krisnkids
by Gold Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 5:00 PM
1 mom liked this

Its not a question I ask first, to me it does sound like a gold digger. Also, if someone is disabled that does not exclude them, many veterans coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan are disabled.

To me its better to get to know someone first, a person is not all about their job.

Stephd710
by Silver Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 5:03 PM

Also, all he wrote in his profile was about his damn job and how women are gold diggers so what are we supposed to talk to him about??  Thats a common opening line on POF "what do you do?"  

Disability excludes them for me personally, i know not for everyone.  I just dont want to be with someone who cant work a decent job and support himself or contribute to a potential family.  

Quoting krisnkids:

Its not a question I ask first, to me it does sound like a gold digger. Also, if someone is disabled that does not exclude them, many veterans coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan are disabled.

To me its better to get to know someone first, a person is not all about their job.



morethanamemory
by Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 5:07 PM

It would depend on the disability for me honestly...does he have a bum knee or back problems? or is he unable to do for himself at all??

Occupation isnt THAT THAT important either, as long as they have a job...though I tend to be concerned about someone having a back up plan for work if the job they have is seasonal.

Stephd710
by Silver Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 5:14 PM

I just am in a mode of thinking about the future at this point in my life.  If he only has a part time screw off job, thats not gonna work, at our age, he should have a steady job, be going to school, something.  I think about if a man is going to be able to help support a family if things go far enough.  Im not doing again what I did with my ex husband.  


Quoting morethanamemory:

It would depend on the disability for me honestly...does he have a bum knee or back problems? or is he unable to do for himself at all??

Occupation isnt THAT THAT important either, as long as they have a job...though I tend to be concerned about someone having a back up plan for work if the job they have is seasonal.



shelley11709
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 5:14 PM
1 mom liked this
I ask about occupation to find out about a person. What a person does and how they talk about their job gives good insight into who they are. It's not about money. I would rather date/talk to/be friends with people who are exited about what they do regardless of type of job or paycheck size.

But honestly he is asking for people to bring up his job by putting that crap on his profile. Also sounds like a douche to me.
morethanamemory
by Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 5:16 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting Stephd710:

I just am in a mode of thinking about the future at this point in my life.  If he only has a part time screw off job, thats not gonna work, at our age, he should have a steady job, be going to school, something.  I think about if a man is going to be able to help support a family if things go far enough.  Im not doing again what I did with my ex husband.  


Quoting morethanamemory:

It would depend on the disability for me honestly...does he have a bum knee or back problems? or is he unable to do for himself at all??

Occupation isnt THAT THAT important either, as long as they have a job...though I tend to be concerned about someone having a back up plan for work if the job they have is seasonal.



I totally here you which is why I worry over a job that would be seasonal or anything like that. I don't want to be the only one making all the money and having to be the one to take care of the family, I want his help to
Stephd710
by Silver Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 5:17 PM
2 moms liked this

He's a total douche.  I knew that from the second I saw his profile, which is why I didnt hesitate to argue.  LOL!  Backwards ball cap, that little squat down on the knees while holding some sort of gang (?) sign up with his fingers.....douchebag alert!!  


Quoting shelley11709:

I ask about occupation to find out about a person. What a person does and how they talk about their job gives good insight into who they are. It's not about money. I would rather date/talk to/be friends with people who are exited about what they do regardless of type of job or paycheck size.

But honestly he is asking for people to bring up his job by putting that crap on his profile. Also sounds like a douche to me.



shelley11709
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 5:21 PM
Ew! Lol. Yeah I would have probably have given him shit as well. Before I met stbx telling off douche bags was a favorite bar activity.


Quoting Stephd710:

He's a total douche.  I knew that from the second I saw his profile, which is why I didnt hesitate to argue.  LOL!  Backwards ball cap, that little squat down on the knees while holding some sort of gang (?) sign up with his fingers.....douchebag alert!!  



Quoting shelley11709:

I ask about occupation to find out about a person. What a person does and how they talk about their job gives good insight into who they are. It's not about money. I would rather date/talk to/be friends with people who are exited about what they do regardless of type of job or paycheck size.



But honestly he is asking for people to bring up his job by putting that crap on his profile. Also sounds like a douche to me.





Stephd710
by Silver Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 5:26 PM

I swear that site is just a joke anymore, I just get on for amusement.  Im about to give up on dating altogether.  I wish I didnt live in such a small town where its impossible to meet new people.  


Quoting shelley11709:

Ew! Lol. Yeah I would have probably have given him shit as well. Before I met stbx telling off douche bags was a favorite bar activity.


Quoting Stephd710:

He's a total douche.  I knew that from the second I saw his profile, which is why I didnt hesitate to argue.  LOL!  Backwards ball cap, that little squat down on the knees while holding some sort of gang (?) sign up with his fingers.....douchebag alert!!  



Quoting shelley11709:

I ask about occupation to find out about a person. What a person does and how they talk about their job gives good insight into who they are. It's not about money. I would rather date/talk to/be friends with people who are exited about what they do regardless of type of job or paycheck size.



But honestly he is asking for people to bring up his job by putting that crap on his profile. Also sounds like a douche to me.







shelley11709
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 5:39 PM
Being single is still new to me but I was considering doing dating websites when I am ready. But a big part of me figures I'll just be single and do what I want with my life. That could be me rebelling because I spent so much time sacrificing my dreams for husband and family.


Quoting Stephd710:

I swear that site is just a joke anymore, I just get on for amusement.  Im about to give up on dating altogether.  I wish I didnt live in such a small town where its impossible to meet new people.  



Quoting shelley11709:

Ew! Lol. Yeah I would have probably have given him shit as well. Before I met stbx telling off douche bags was a favorite bar activity.





Quoting Stephd710:

He's a total douche.  I knew that from the second I saw his profile, which is why I didnt hesitate to argue.  LOL!  Backwards ball cap, that little squat down on the knees while holding some sort of gang (?) sign up with his fingers.....douchebag alert!!  




Quoting shelley11709:

I ask about occupation to find out about a person. What a person does and how they talk about their job gives good insight into who they are. It's not about money. I would rather date/talk to/be friends with people who are exited about what they do regardless of type of job or paycheck size.





But honestly he is asking for people to bring up his job by putting that crap on his profile. Also sounds like a douche to me.











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