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What would you do?

Posted by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 8:29 AM
  • 17 Replies
So my ex n I broke up a few months ago bc I found out he was cheating on me. Since then he has been giving me the run around with paying the support we had orally agreed on and he rarely comes to visit the kids. This past saturday he came to my house to exchange a counterfeit he had given me for support. Mean while he has his gf sitting in the car and she is giving my mother and I dirty looks. My bff says that I should contact her and respectfully tell her that I don't apprechiate her attitude or presents at the home where I reside with my children and unless it is her intention to establish a relationship with my children there is no need for her to be there. In which case, there is no need to sit in the car giving dirty looks simply say hello. Do you agree that I should say something to the girlfriend? Do you believe the manner of her presents was disrespectful? If I do say something how should I go about it? Thanks for listening ladies.
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 8:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jkdc1218
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 8:34 AM
1 mom liked this

Well first I would give up on the oral CS agreement and get custody and support set up through the courts.  Then instead of contacting her, contact your BD first and let him know you don't appreciate the attitude.  Is her being involved with the children something you are open to or do you just not want her around at all?  You'll want to figure out what you are comfortable with first.  Her being along for the ride in and of itself is not necessarily disrespectful but how she treats you, your family, and especially your children matters.

mammabug13
by Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 8:47 AM
I don't really think she has any interest in being involved with my children. As a matter of fact, I think that she is the reason he is not more involved with his kids. I hear all kinds of things that she is asking people and telling people about me. I thing that the whole situation is very immature. No I do not want her around my children. The woman has one hell of a reputation and I do not choose to raise my children in that type of life style. I have spoken to my bd before about my disinterest in her involvement with my kids. I know that the whole bring her along for the ride thing was def more about being in my face. Although I think she is probably eating more spiders than me over it (judging by the look on her face when I smiled at her).
krisnkids
by Gold Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 8:53 AM
4 moms liked this

First give up the oral cs agreement, go to the courthouse and file.

Second, ignore the witch.

Third, counterfeit bills? Are you friggin kidding me? Call the police and report it.

dawncs
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 10:10 AM

You are so much better off without being officially together because there is a strong chance he will cheat on anyone after you. I recommend filing for child support and having it garnished since he is playing games. He is probably telling her somethings and is probably very jealous that he has to deal with you thanks to the kids. She is clueless that what he does to you could happen to her if she has a kid by him, and they split. She would never believe you in a million years. My mom has a neighbor who's daughter married a deadbeat (does not pay child support) for his first two children by his first wife, and he does the same thing to her and their two children since they divorced.

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

dawncs
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 10:13 AM

 Odds are that she is the one that he cheated on you with while you two were together. She is probably being very smug that she won her over you, but I bet she does not realize that you were the one who broke up the relationship. Just remember, karma will bite her in the butt one day when he decides to replace her in the dating scene without breaking up with her. He probably does not like being without a girlfriend, and I doubt it will ever change.

Quoting mammabug13:

I don't really think she has any interest in being involved with my children. As a matter of fact, I think that she is the reason he is not more involved with his kids. I hear all kinds of things that she is asking people and telling people about me. I thing that the whole situation is very immature. No I do not want her around my children. The woman has one hell of a reputation and I do not choose to raise my children in that type of life style. I have spoken to my bd before about my disinterest in her involvement with my kids. I know that the whole bring her along for the ride thing was def more about being in my face. Although I think she is probably eating more spiders than me over it (judging by the look on her face when I smiled at her).

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

Robsessed98
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 12:12 PM
1 mom liked this
No, I think you should ignore them. Let him know what's what by slapping him with custody and support papers.
Bero2007
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 12:21 PM

You need to go to court and get your cs in writing esp if he's not paying when he should. As far as his new gf just ignore her. It's really not worth the fight it will cause if you call her out on it.

mammabug13
by Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 12:25 PM
She is the one he cheated with. It is what it is. I will take him to court for support bc obviously he is not capable of being a decent human being. I have had conversations with him in the past about the respect that we need to maintain toward each other n I asked that he extend the issue to his girl bc she has some pretty messed up stuff to say about me. She does not even know me n I imagine he doesnt tell her anything nice about me. I'm sure he has not told her that she needs to curb it out if respect for his kids and perhaps he does not care. I think what my friend is saying is that I should let her know about the respect aspect of it bc it occured at my home and it is my right to protect my domain and although it may not change her action it will at least make her aware that it is my territory and I will protect it...


Quoting dawncs:

 Odds are that she is the one that he cheated on you with while you two were together. She is probably being very smug that she won her over you, but I bet she does not realize that you were the one who broke up the relationship. Just remember, karma will bite her in the butt one day when he decides to replace her in the dating scene without breaking up with her. He probably does not like being without a girlfriend, and I doubt it will ever change.


Quoting mammabug13:

I don't really think she has any interest in being involved with my children. As a matter of fact, I think that she is the reason he is not more involved with his kids. I hear all kinds of things that she is asking people and telling people about me. I thing that the whole situation is very immature. No I do not want her around my children. The woman has one hell of a reputation and I do not choose to raise my children in that type of life style. I have spoken to my bd before about my disinterest in her involvement with my kids. I know that the whole bring her along for the ride thing was def more about being in my face. Although I think she is probably eating more spiders than me over it (judging by the look on her face when I smiled at her).

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 12:47 PM
1 mom liked this

Am I the only one who has a problem with him passing counterfeit bills? Really?

dawncs
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 1:18 PM

 She sounds very insecure as a girlfriend because she realized she won a cheater. She has to get over it that he has children by you, and they will be in his life for the rest of his life at some point. If they live in the same town, their children will notice they have older siblings, and it will cause a ton of questions. She does not realize that he can do what he did to you to her, and it does not have to be necessarily you. I doubt you will be able to convince her otherwise. If you wanted to, you could take her to court for slander over the internet. I recommend printing out her facebook and other pages if you wanted to teach her a lesson. He probably told her some lies about how long you two were apart among other things. She will learn the truth in time. Hopefully before she gets pregant and the child becomes third in line for child support.

Quoting mammabug13:

She is the one he cheated with. It is what it is. I will take him to court for support bc obviously he is not capable of being a decent human being. I have had conversations with him in the past about the respect that we need to maintain toward each other n I asked that he extend the issue to his girl bc she has some pretty messed up stuff to say about me. She does not even know me n I imagine he doesnt tell her anything nice about me. I'm sure he has not told her that she needs to curb it out if respect for his kids and perhaps he does not care. I think what my friend is saying is that I should let her know about the respect aspect of it bc it occured at my home and it is my right to protect my domain and although it may not change her action it will at least make her aware that it is my territory and I will protect it...


Quoting dawncs:

 Odds are that she is the one that he cheated on you with while you two were together. She is probably being very smug that she won her over you, but I bet she does not realize that you were the one who broke up the relationship. Just remember, karma will bite her in the butt one day when he decides to replace her in the dating scene without breaking up with her. He probably does not like being without a girlfriend, and I doubt it will ever change.


Quoting mammabug13:

I don't really think she has any interest in being involved with my children. As a matter of fact, I think that she is the reason he is not more involved with his kids. I hear all kinds of things that she is asking people and telling people about me. I thing that the whole situation is very immature. No I do not want her around my children. The woman has one hell of a reputation and I do not choose to raise my children in that type of life style. I have spoken to my bd before about my disinterest in her involvement with my kids. I know that the whole bring her along for the ride thing was def more about being in my face. Although I think she is probably eating more spiders than me over it (judging by the look on her face when I smiled at her).

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

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