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Single Moms Single Moms

desire to date again

Posted by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 12:33 PM
  • 21 Replies

As of right now, I need girlfriends that are available concerning dating. The friends that I typically call are quite busy and I feel like an teenager needing that chat with a girlfriend.  I do have older guy friends to speak to concerning this matter.  A few weeks ago, on a temp assignment, a fellow asked for my number.  He approach me kindly, yet I told him that maybe another time when I might see him again on another assignment. Well, I did see him again as I picked up my check and we chatted in the lobby of the temporary agency. I gave him my number. We have only see each other three times outside of work. He first told me that he was just release from prison. Upon hearing this, alarms did ring in my head, but I kept my cool and just gave him a chance. It's been months since I last dated. The first time I met him was at a local pond spontanuously with his mother right after he dropped his son off at his mother's. My daughter was playing with the ducks, turtles. We chatted for a little awhile from a distance and then meet his mother in the car and then he met my daugher. He was so gentle with my daughter and knew much about turtles so we eventually took four turtles (two for him and two for us) and headed to Pet Co and his mother's house for equipment. Finally, at my house, we set up the equipment. I become so turned on by him suddenly and then he asked to give me a neck rub and I agree. It was the best head, neck, and back rub that I have received from a man. We have only hugged each other. Another time, he called me and I mention that my dryer was not working well, Suddenly, he came by within 30 minutes to check it out along with his son. Again, he hugged me and gave a short neck rub.  The third time, we hung out along for two hours late at night outside. I learned from that outing, that he is a player and wants to go all the way with me and I'm not up for that so I have not talked to him for a few days. Now, I'm having trouble proceeding on my typical rountine. Why is this?

by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 12:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Robsessed98
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 12:48 PM
1 mom liked this
Either bc you like the guy or just lonely for contact with a man. You need to figure out which. Tell him you're attracted to him but aren't going to have sex with him and see how he reacts.
Oliviasmom72
by Bronze Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 1:18 PM
3 moms liked this

wait....this guy was in prison? Stop right there. You are a single mom and you should not be dating felons. Time to pass this guy up. Do you know what he was locked up for? Have you gone online and googled his name or looked up the courts to see what he was convicted of? Maybe he is a sex offender? Sorry but the fact he just got out of prison should be a BIG red flag. Raise your standards.

conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 1:23 PM
3 moms liked this
This...
And he was immediately introduced to your daughter? Not very smart.


Quoting Oliviasmom72:

wait....this guy was in prison? Stop right there. You are a single mom and you should not be dating felons. Time to pass this guy up. Do you know what he was locked up for? Have you gone online and googled his name or looked up the courts to see what he was convicted of? Maybe he is a sex offender? Sorry but the fact he just got out of prison should be a BIG red flag. Raise your standards.


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Sunfresh34
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 2:17 PM


Before asking for my number, he told me that he was just release from prison.  This is why I was hesistant at first to give my number. When we met again, for some reason, I felt as ease about it, thinking that I will find out  why he was in later and why he is interested in having my number.  He explained that he was in for 10 years for bank robbery. I have tried to find him on-line, yet could not find his name. I need help with understanding how this works. We really have not dated yet. I never kissed him either. From our phone conversations, I have learned that we don't have shared values when it comes to relationships. He likes to social drink and I'm not against it,but it is not my thing. He has sort of moved on since I told him that I reserve sex for marriage and told me that he feels uncomfortable seeing someone who does not drink socially. A few times, he has wanted to take me out for a drink, yet finding the time and childcare did not work out. I'm glad that I did not do this. We went out for coffee instead in our last get-to-know you outing. There are several qualities that I like about him, besides his physical appearance. Once time, I called him and he just came home from a club (He has returned my phone message after coming back from a clubhouse a week ago. He seems like he goes about 2-3 times a week) and after asking me what I am doing, he tells me that he is naked. At this point, I wanted to hang up the phone, but decided to play along. I asked why cause it's hot in the house. Then he asks me to come over. I tell him that I barely know you. He sates "What does the price of beans have to do with China?" At first, I only heard the first few words and last word. I ask him what doesChina have to do with this. Then he repeated it slowly. Then I said, it's important to know if you are carrying any sexual diseases.Then he states that he has to go to the bathroom. He never called back and that was the last time we talked.

Quoting Oliviasmom72:

wait....this guy was in prison? Stop right there. You are a single mom and you should not be dating felons. Time to pass this guy up. Do you know what he was locked up for? Have you gone online and googled his name or looked up the courts to see what he was convicted of? Maybe he is a sex offender? Sorry but the fact he just got out of prison should be a BIG red flag. Raise your standards.



Sunfresh34
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 2:21 PM


This was not planned. He just happened to call me back during our time at the pond and since he was so close by asked to stop by. I do regret how my daughter's interest in turtles caught his attention. Typically, I would never do this.

Quoting conniejo75:

This...
And he was immediately introduced to your daughter? Not very smart.


Quoting Oliviasmom72:

wait....this guy was in prison? Stop right there. You are a single mom and you should not be dating felons. Time to pass this guy up. Do you know what he was locked up for? Have you gone online and googled his name or looked up the courts to see what he was convicted of? Maybe he is a sex offender? Sorry but the fact he just got out of prison should be a BIG red flag. Raise your standards.




amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 2:25 PM

I think you need to find out more about this man... why was he in prison?  

You don't have to take this relationship any further if you don't feel comfortable and feel that all he wants is sex.  Trust your gut.

Sunfresh34
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 2:31 PM


Well, I don't really care for this guy anymore, yet he has awaken the desire to date again. I do like several qualities about him though. I felt like he swept me off my feet for a week. Now, I'm lonely for contact with a man via hugs and kisses only. Well, he was not too happy about learning how I am not a sexually active women. He told me that after about five dates with a women he is attracted to, he wants to have sex and if it is good enough, he will stick with her. I appreciate his blunt honestly on this matter and how respectfull he was about telling me this. Then I preceding on by telling him that I lost my virginity with my ex-husband  and have only been with two fellows. He was appauld and quiet for a long moment. We discuss this during our two-hour outing.

Quoting Robsessed98:

Either bc you like the guy or just lonely for contact with a man. You need to figure out which. Tell him you're attracted to him but aren't going to have sex with him and see how he reacts.



Sunfresh34
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 2:46 PM

My main concern now is that my hormones are still going off after meeting this fellow. I have done research on several aspects of sexual attractions lately to understand what's happening to me. Appearately, these emotions have laid dormant for some time now. LOL. I'm wondering if I'm this attractive to men, why can't a more decent man approach me for my number? Does the statusof being a divorced mother make a difference? I'm mad at this guy who lead me on in a way to have a desire to date again. By the way, I have been divorced for seven years now. It's great to know that I don't have to do much to attract men, just be my typicaly self.  When most men find out that I have a child, their interest fades. It would be nice to have men at church or somewhere else to approach me for my number. Meanwhile, this desire to date is frustrating me to look for an outlet somewhere more appropriate.

Oliviasmom72
by Bronze Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 3:05 PM

Honestly you sound very naive like you have never dated at all and you have no idea what to do in basic situations.

Blow this guy off. There are several red flags. The fact he just got out of prison is a ckue that he is not worthy of your time. Stop talking to him and in a few weeks you will be over him. There should be nothing to get over, you have no relationship with him and he has no idea how to present himself.

You may want to put an ad up on plenty of fish or match, or join meet up. If you choose online dating, be specific in what you want any any guy that tells you he has no job, or has been in prison, opr does drugs, tell him to take a hike. Only reply back to the guys that truly interest you.

There are alot of no good guys out there and some prey on gullbile single moms.

Robsessed98
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 3:07 PM
In that case, forget him. Any dude that warns you that you only get 5 chances to before banging him before dumping you is not a guy you want to waste time on.

Quoting Sunfresh34:


Well, I don't really care for this guy anymore, yet he has awaken the desire to date again. I do like several qualities about him though. I felt like he swept me off my feet for a week. Now, I'm lonely for contact with a man via hugs and kisses only. Well, he was not too happy about learning how I am not a sexually active women. He told me that after about five dates with a women he is attracted to, he wants to have sex and if it is good enough, he will stick with her. I appreciate his blunt honestly on this matter and how respectfull he was about telling me this. Then I preceding on by telling him that I lost my virginity with my ex-husband  and have only been with two fellows. He was appauld and quiet for a long moment. We discuss this during our two-hour outing.


Quoting Robsessed98:

Either bc you like the guy or just lonely for contact with a man. You need to figure out which. Tell him you're attracted to him but aren't going to have sex with him and see how he reacts.




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