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Help please

Posted by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 8:16 PM
  • 8 Replies
I left my kids Dad. I'm living at my grandmothers house with my 3 kids. My kids Dad was the one working so I don't have a job. I wasn't getting anywhere being with him. He blows all his money on shit and can't manage it to pay bills.

He does takes the kids on weekends. I'm trying to find a job but it's hard to get out there with 3 kids and no one ever calls back from online apps.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to be a single mom. :/ please help any advise can help.
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 8:16 PM
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Replies (1-8):
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 8:22 PM

 Hang in there momma, one day at a time.  Sometimes it helps to get out and talk to some places and ask about job openings.  Do you know what you would like to do? 

by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 8:23 PM

ask your man to change, develope a budget.  stay with your grandmother a while and just enjoy your children.  ask him to change for you and your children.  

by Gold Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 12:18 PM

Have you checked with human services in your area to see if there are any programs that you qualify for?  You can check there and also with workforce development to try and find work.  Good luck!!

by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 12:31 PM
First off, you get court ordered custody, visitation and child support so you get your kids share of his check before he blows it. Then take each issue one at a time so you don't get overwhelmed. It's tough getting the new normal started, but stay strong and focused and it will get easier.
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 12:48 PM

You're apps do not work.  You need to get out into the world an go put in applications at different places.  Unless you have a college degree, most places want to see you in person applying for a position.  I think you might feel alot better about yourself if you had a job and control of your portion of the household money.  With 3 kids, it might also change things with your husband and perhaps you can work things out.  So far, it sounds like the majority of issues are financial and perhaps if you had a job too, that might help to take the stress of supporting 5 people on one income off of his shoulders a bit.

I'm not sure of your situation, but if he hasn't always been like this, it may be that having to support five people on one income might be a bit stressful.  And, he may be to the point to where he feels like all of his money was going to you all and he had adult time; no relief.  His splurges may be his way of trying to feel like he's getting some kind of reward for all the hard work he puts in.  Possible? 

by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 1:48 PM

You need to set priorities.  First off , get that cs in order ASAP.  Set-up custody and then visitation.  Your stbx still needs to be financially responsible for his children with you.  In the meantime, go to every store, and temp job you can and fill out apps for jobs.  If anything you will be hired for seasonal work and then eventually get a temp job.  Temp agencies also offer free training (computer, etc).  So sign-up for that. 

Your ex's cs should be taken out of his paycheck since he's so wasteful with his own money.  Talk to child services about setting up direct payments from his paycheck into your checking account.

by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 4:48 PM

Try a temp agency, they can get you something entry level pretty quick in most cases.  Even if it is a week long job, it's a great way to make connections with employers that could lead to something permanent. 

by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:12 AM
Wondered if you are doing all right. Try to make the most of what you have. Can you stabilize your children at your grandmothers? go see a head start program ask your man to change. what if you asked him to not see you until he gave up a bad habit? You should feel good about asking for help. That is not always easy. good luck.
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