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How do I refrain from killing him?

Posted by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 11:45 AM
  • 15 Replies
I have court for child support coming up with my daughter's donor. Now to explain why I can't stand him, we broke up before i found out i was pregnant. We split up because he drunkenly tried to back me into a corner and hit me. 2 hours after i told him i was pregnant he tried to hit me with his car. He then stalked me until he got another girl pregnant. Now it might just be me but since then i've have violent urges every time i hear from him. (which is only the week of my girl's birthday) So how do i keep my cool around him when we go to court?
by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 11:45 AM
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by Gold Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 11:54 AM
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I read something the other day. Those little caramel flavored candies that melt in your mouth? Invest in them, every time you get those urges, pop one in you mouth and focus on that until it melts away. Repeat until you are done with the hearing.

by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 12:54 PM
Thanks i'll try that! Anything not to get myself in trouble. I just can't help it when it comes to him.
by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 1:17 PM

Thats what I do every time I go to court. It really works.

by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 1:23 PM

Think about your daughter. Don't let his actions cause you to react which might cause you to go to jail and subsequently be seperated from your daughter. Nobody should have that much power over you. Hell just the fact that I have kids keeps me from doing alot of things that may cause me to go to jail and/or loose my job. I can't be away from babies because of some idiot.

by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 1:57 PM
I keep her in the front of my mind when he pops up but with all of the stuff he put me through while i was pregnant momma bear comes out. He's seen her once in 3 years now he's saying that if he has to pay child support he's going for partial custody of her. The last time i tried to let him in her life he went nuts and called me 97 times and texted me over 800 times in one day. How am i supposed to let my daughter go with that kind of person?
by Group Admin on Jul. 4, 2013 at 2:24 PM
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Keep proof of all the times he calls and texts you. Calling or texting to ask about dd is one thing but what he did was beyond excessive. If it's for visitation ask the judge to specify how many times he can call and give him a specific time frame that he must call (one five minute call between 7-7:30).

by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 2:26 PM
2 moms liked this

Prison orange is ugly. That's why I haven't killed anyone yet....   lol 

by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 4:07 PM
My ex was abusive in court I was the emotial and him under control so Iook bad in court when I could not hide my frustration. I have learnt to not to allow him to affect me.. I went counseling I am well presented in court now I completely block myself do not look at him and do not allow anything he says have a reaction on me
by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 5:37 PM

I agree with don't look at him, pay him mind and keep your attention at the judge. Also remember you don't want to be away from your heart, and soul so you don't want to act a way that could get you in jail. Even a night, shoot a couple hours. 

I know I tell myself when I get frustrated, with my XDH or XSO to brush it off. I allow myself to freak out a little, scream with tears if it's that level. An then remind myself how I like holding, seeing my kids in person vs a panal of something. If not in calls, and or letters.  An I agree the color orange, not my color lol. I have had urges to want to bust my XDH's car windows, his head lights and he has a madza6. :). 

by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 9:23 PM
I want to punch my ex in the face on a daily basis. I know he can easily lose his cool. I know his triggers. I stand up and be the bigger person because I know HE is missing out, not my daughter. I know he can make a bigger ass out of himself than I ever could. My ex and I went to court a few weeks ago and saw several estranged parents in the same situation that wouldn't look at each other, talk to each other, were totally disgusted by one another, etc. We all sat in the same court room and I realized, I don't want to be a bitter, soulless parent like those people. As much as I dislike my ex and would like to hit him with a baseball bat, we are on friendly terms. We talk, we visit grandparents together, we help each other out if we need to. We do this ONLY because we have a child together and we want her to know that we BOTH love her and want her to have a relationship with both of us even if he and I don't love each other anymore. If you truly feel threatened by you ex, file a protection order. Always remember what is best for your child. Kids need dads as much as they need moms. If he truly does not want your child, have the dad sign away his rights. You will not be able to get child support from him but you can cut him from your life competely this way.
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