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I know this isnt going to end well...kinda long and def none of my business but its on my mind

Posted by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 12:08 AM
  • 9 Replies

So I have recently found out that my ex and my now ex best friend has had feeling for each other for a long time. Like it started at sometime well he and i were together. Hell her and her husband, my ex, and i all lived together. Well last Sat was my daughter birthday and she came out for it. I had told her at the party that him and i have been hooking up now for the past 3 months and that I never got over him and that he never told me he stopped loving me. She even told me that you can tell he still cares. A lot of people would ask if we were back together cause of how we were when ever they saw us together.  This was before I found out. Well after the party her and I hung out then she left but went off to say bye to my ex. In which time her and him brought up past feelings and what not, Im assuming from what I have been told.

Well last weds I need to borrow a cell to get some calls done. I had to go to work. I asked my ex if I can borrow his and he said I could well when I took it off the charger I noticed a skype converstation between them and that is how I found out. I talked to her about and of course she lies to me. she tells me she never wanted to hurt me and that nothing can happen between the two of them cause it will hurt to many people. I asked her why the day before she told me that she never do anything with him and that she was my friend and that youll always have my side. She said she didnt lie that. I asked then why is starting something with him know i would see it as a betrayal why hide it. i told her by keep on with it as long as she has (be it was a few days) shows me she didnt care about my feelings at all. Now of course Im just as equally as pissed at my ex.  I asked him why is he doing this why did he play with my feelings. I asked him if he wanted her back then why contiune with me. why plan ou wedding and how much of it was a lie. he said he did it all to make me happy. i asked then why was it all your doing. why was everything what you wanted. I told him I feel like I lost the only friends I had out here.

. I might also add that she is still married. She told me a few months ago that they are getting dicorced but then at the party said she doesnt know what going on with that. that things are a bit better they are still having sex and that they are moving into a bigger apartment. ANd that she may wait and see about the divorce will after she done with school in 2 years.  She also told me that she been hooking up with a few guys, one being a manager she works with and how they even had a sleep over planned soon.

After dealing with the pain of being lied to and feeling of betrayal  I am able to talk with my ex a bit. I asked him when will her and him be telling her husband, He said that he will be leaving that up to her. I asked what will happen if she doesnt leave him for you( she has come close to leaving him well we were all living together) he was like "ooohh that would be bad"

while my ex and i were talking the first time all this started we talked about his other ex who he has 2 kids with. I brought up one of her post about some new guy and how she can't wait to be in his arms. I figured he wouldnt care I mean he wanting to start something up with my ex best friend. Well he was like you shouldn't of told me that. I was like why do you care what she id doing. You two are over. She moving on and so are you. He was like that means she lied to me. I was like that surprise you.From what I'm hearing about her that all she does,. I wouldn't be suprised if she had a bf the whole time she been back home. Hell I wouldn't be suprised if she had one here. I heard she took off whenever you left for work, well the other night she calls and he talks to her a bit and he then tells me how she trying to get him back and trying to say she in labor. That she is 2cm dilualted. I told him in order for her to be in labor that means she was either pregnant before she came out here or she got pregnant the day she got out here.  Cause that baby is coming way to soon from when she first told everyone she got pregnant. Supposly she has said the baby is due in aug or sep. I ask him how do you know she wants to get back together and he like cause she still says i love you. he has giving her sooo many chances

I like to also point this out. in feb after she had left him packed up all her and the baby stuff and left. he called me saying he wanted another chance that he always had feelings for me. And thats why his ex didn't like me. About a week before I moved out here he told me he was confused on who he wanted. He then told me he choose amanda. But then a few weeks after I got out here he said that they arent official together that he not sure how he feels about her cause she just up and left and all the drama she caused she has to prove things will be better. Hance why we started having sex

so the way I see it no matter how this situation ends someone will get hurt. If she does leave her husband for my ex then Im assuming the husband will be hurt. Im going to guess that he sees under the same impression i was that they are trying to make it work. I do know that my exs mom has said that she is very disappointed in him and she knows my ex best friend wont ever leave her husband for her son. I do know if he pursue this it will hurt his family.    Or my ex will be hurt cause she will choose her husband or my ex best friend will be hurt cause once again he will choose his crazy ex.  I fear also about the kids as well. If he does get with her then I fear he ll move out there and so then once again my daughter will e put on the back bunner cause hell be spending all his time with ex best friend and her 2 yr dd.

 

like i said i know i have no really reason to care or whatever. but its been on my mind. just need someone to talk to that not close to the situation.

 

by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 12:08 AM
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Replies (1-9):
chirpymama87
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 1:05 AM
1 mom liked this
Just walk away... Cut ties with everyone involved. Stop going back to that drama...

File for CS and walk away.
steviechick
by Gold Member on Jul. 8, 2013 at 11:00 AM
1 mom liked this

When your husband and best friend cheat on you it's time to cut the cord with both of them and walk away.  Cheaters never prosper!

easinpc
by Gold Member on Jul. 8, 2013 at 1:00 PM

group hug

EthanzMom915
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 3:42 PM

Do you really have to ask what to do? 

MamaHens3
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 3:48 PM

Sounds like a love triangle, and there is never anything good about that. I would have stopped talking to my best friend, after the skype thing but of course after a calm conversation on what was going on. You need to tell your ex that's it, he wants to do what he wants thats on him yet don't drag you along. File for support, and move on yourself. Your best friend is being shady, dishonest to her dh and I'd remove yourself from that an not be sucked in more then you are. 

Tons of hugs, and wow they say TV shows are dramatic yet in reality life in itself is its own soap. :(. I know I felt like that when I split from my now XDH, the first split we got back together and turns out was to just make me happy an he had no "back up plan". Second time we split, he had a back up plan and he's now married to her having a child with her. 

mamalena137
by Bronze Member on Jul. 8, 2013 at 4:45 PM

Get out of it fast. They both want to do whatever they want and be able to have someone to fall back on in case things don't work out. You don't need to be dealing with this kind of back and forth thing. Someone will always be hurt when people aren't honest.

lazyd
by Member on Jul. 8, 2013 at 9:18 PM

All I kept on "seeing" was STD's!  Everyone is sleeping with everyone.  It's sickening!  I know sex is important, but can't ya'll just "chill" for a while!?  I would just walk away and NOT start any new relationship for a LOOONNNGGGG time.  You need to focus on your kid and yourself!  Stand up for yourself.  Get some self esteem.   

sunshine389142
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 9:22 PM

Stop talking to your ex  unless it involves your child.  Dont speak to his ex or your ex-bestfriend.  Separate yourself from that whole situation.  It sounds like a huge mess.

It helps me to really focus on my dd and things I can do to make our life better when other things in life get crazy.

cjsmom1
by Gold Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 1:03 AM

You need to stop messing around with your ex and cut all ties with your "friend"

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