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My oh so interesting online dating experience... Update, Update 2

Posted by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 11:54 AM
  • 44 Replies
2 moms liked this

So. I went on OKCupid and met a couple interesting guys. One was really interesting, and I was going to drive an hour to see him yesterday. However, come to find out he didn't have a JOB and was driving his friend's vehicle. Further, his home had only a bed in it (he's 41 btw). And he proceeded to tell me about a vehicle for sale next door that he wanted, even told me how much it was. O..o He also tells me that he is very good in bed, and that all my relationships to this point have been a waste of time and that they never loved me or we'd still be together. Wait... what?

Saturday night I thought about everything he said and Sunday morning I tell him that in order to be with me that he needs to find a job and he needs to purchase his own vehicle. That I'm not saving him. And further, I won't be going to see him until he has those things.

This man had the NERVE to tell me that I had my priorities skewed and that I would never find a good man because good men would forever believe that I wouldn't hold them down in their darkest hour. I could only laugh. Hysterically.

SO I talked to a couple good men. Really good men. Good men that are even interested in me. Good men that I have been friends with for close to two decades. And even my father. They all said the same thing. A GOOD man would want these things for himself. A GOOD man would want to show a woman that he is interested in that if for some reason she wouldn't be able to work he could support her. A GOOD man would not think that the requirements of: job, own place, and a vehicle, are "jumping through firey hoops to be with you". (Yes, he actually said that).

I have since taken down all profiles for every dating site I have ever signed up for. Anyone else have some craziness like this happen?

UPDATE: So one of the guys, also met on OKCupid, that I gave my number to before I pulled all profiles, and I have been talking all day. He's one of the ones that said real men would want those things for themselves. Anyway, he seems like the total package, not holding my breath, but I'm kinda excited about this one. ***eek*** (Helps that he's hot, highly educated, gainfully employed, has his own place, AND car, and active in his kids' lives... and SINGLE... OMG.... am I asking too much? LOL)

UPDATE2: Ok, I give up. Officially. We were supposed to meet last night at 8:30, true "Southern Gentleman" style. *rolling eyes*. He texts me at 8 and says he has to help his parents move an entertainment center and it'd be closer to 9:30. Uhm. Ok. So I text him the address at 9. Nothing. 10 rolls around. Still. Nothing. Texts me at 11 (yes, ELEVEN) and says "I'm sorry, I just got done, are you up?"). Only people up that late at night are booty calls. Something tells me that he's not what he claims to be. *shrug* oh well. Ended up texting all night with an old friend about a business he's working on that he needs me to do some freelance work for. Sigh...

by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 11:54 AM
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Replies (1-10):
OCALAMOMOFTWINS
by Member on Jul. 8, 2013 at 12:08 PM

I tried the internet dating game for a while. I chatted it up with a few men but never gave out my number and never went to meet any ot them. There were a few that I was really interested in, but as soon as they found out that I am the mother of 2 small kids, they could not head for the hills fast enough!

I did take down my post after about 8 months, it just was not for me.

mmpdrs07
by Member on Jul. 8, 2013 at 12:10 PM
1 mom liked this

WOW I would have to agree with the MEN you talked to about it.  A man would want those things for himself before dragging a single parent down.  Unless your my ex and then you could really care less about dragging someone down.  Glad you didn't hang on to this one sounds like you would have ended up raising him too. 

Katkinson
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 12:12 PM
5 moms liked this
Ha ha ha. . I like how being a functional adult is "jumping through fiery hoops" for him!

Keep lookin!
KailesMommy
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 12:16 PM
I tried it too. And finally after a yr of being on them guess what...i met someone a year ago. After dating for 3 months, me and dd moved in with him. It was a yr on the 5th. we dont fit or argue we see eye to eye. He is great with dd. He doesnt go anywhere with me at all but work. We are doing amazing. But your going to find guys on there like that. Its part of it. Dont give up so soon into it..
kitcal78
by Gigi on Jul. 8, 2013 at 12:36 PM

 I had a similar situation with some guy who lived in MD. I'm in NJ.  I promptly removed my profiles and closed out all my accounts after that.  I don't know what I'm going to do.  I don't get out much because I have a 16 month old.  My loneliness as a single mom is gettin the best of me. 

To the point where I find myself thinking about his father.  Mostly sexually.  I want a solid relationship.  I deserve a solid relationship. I hear people say oh don't go looking for love it will find you.  Well I did that with my son's father.  I wasn't looking for it.  How is a lady to met a decend guy these days.  I never liked the club or bar scene. 

I've had poor luck with relationships that started on the internet.  Single parent dating sites are a joke.  A lot of divorced guys on those.  A whole lot.  I have to figure something out.  I barely see guys in the library or at church.  Full of women.  Being close to God and reading are not a guys top priorities.  There is still hope.  Just not sure where the good men are............

easinpc
by Gold Member on Jul. 8, 2013 at 12:45 PM
1 mom liked this

Yeah I've run into that a few times too.  There are some crazy people (both male & female I'm told) on those sites!!

lnrmom
by Bronze Member on Jul. 8, 2013 at 12:47 PM

 I may have jumped in too soon. I really am just going to take some time and see where a couple things go. I gave my number to the few I found halfway interesting before deleting my account. A couple have contacted me. If none of these work out, I think I'm just going to take some time to be single.


Quoting KailesMommy:

I tried it too. And finally after a yr of being on them guess what...i met someone a year ago. After dating for 3 months, me and dd moved in with him. It was a yr on the 5th. we dont fit or argue we see eye to eye. He is great with dd. He doesnt go anywhere with me at all but work. We are doing amazing. But your going to find guys on there like that. Its part of it. Dont give up so soon into it..


 

Oliviasmom72
by Bronze Member on Jul. 8, 2013 at 2:13 PM

imternet dating is totally unpredicatable. I totally agree that this guy is 41 and does not have his shit together at all. Total turn off. I just ended it with a guy on POF that totally had his act together but I determined there is just not enough sexual attraction on my part to continue. I am picky. If you want to be with me you have to be cute, have a good job, a vehicle and your own place, be a good kisser and good in bed. No exceptions.

I say try again. You have to take the good with the bad. Keep your profile up, be picky, ask questions then decide if you want to meet someone. If you determine they are bnot your type, then stop responding.

Jenn8604
by Silver Member on Jul. 8, 2013 at 2:19 PM
Lol I can't even get a date. you've made it one step farther than me. yeah I'm about to give up on internet dating too.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
steviechick
by Gold Member on Jul. 8, 2013 at 2:27 PM

I'm giving it three months.  If no one 'bites' then I'm not continuing to waste my money.

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