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Introduction/Questions **ETA**

Posted by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 8:20 AM
  • 10 Replies

After talking to my cousin and doing a little research, I have decided to wait. We have plans to move out of state at the end of next year when he gets back from his deployment. I'm going to file for divorce and custody in that state so I don't risk trying it here and they saying I can't leave the state with the kids. I don't want to risk losing my kids or being stuck here. Thank you ladies for you overwhelming support and advice, I can't thank you enough for being so kind and not judging!! 



Hi. I'm a new member here and have some questions I hope someone can help me with.

I'm in a horrible(not abusive) marriage. I'm in the first few months of pursuing a bachelors degree online, I have no job, no friends and no family. I have no job and can't even work part time because my husband has a really messed up work schedule. I want to divorce him and have for a long time. Have any of you left a marriage with similiar lack of support and resources? I live in a small town so there isn't much to offer. I'm on the list for HUD but it's going to be awhile. Anyone have any advice or experience they can give me?? I have 3 small children. Thank you

by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 8:20 AM
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Replies (1-10):
bzzybeemomof3
by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 11:50 AM
I left my ex, we were not married and my DD was only 1. He was an out of town truck driver gone 14 days home 2 days. I couldn't work at that point. I was in school full-time and could not afford to pay someone or another daycare to watch her after school.

So I could work. I know divorcing is way different from just leaving someone. I get that. But I had lack of support and resources till I left.

When I left DD and I lived in a hotel till I found a place, our family shelter paid for it for 2 months till our place was available. And from there I found work and afford daycare etc.....

Since then o had 2 more kids and am well off, I learned to save more money and continued to work till 2011.

Its hard a first but it usually works out
easinpc
by Gold Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 12:07 PM

Hugs!!  Here's a bump for you with the hopes that other moms can offer advice!

ConcernedCousin
by Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 12:53 PM

the local shelter paid for a hotel? see the only shelter here is a domestic violence one and i called but they only help people being abused. there is salvation army thrift shop here but not a shelter. if i could just get childcare, i could look for work :(

Quoting bzzybeemomof3:

I left my ex, we were not married and my DD was only 1. He was an out of town truck driver gone 14 days home 2 days. I couldn't work at that point. I was in school full-time and could not afford to pay someone or another daycare to watch her after school.

So I could work. I know divorcing is way different from just leaving someone. I get that. But I had lack of support and resources till I left.

When I left DD and I lived in a hotel till I found a place, our family shelter paid for it for 2 months till our place was available. And from there I found work and afford daycare etc.....

Since then o had 2 more kids and am well off, I learned to save more money and continued to work till 2011.

Its hard a first but it usually works out



bzzybeemomof3
by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 1:02 PM

 Yes, for families the shelter pays for a hotel up to 3 months time. All single people with no kids stay in the community shelter and eat at the salvation army soup kitchen.

But they put woman and children and dads in a hotel. And they give them money every day for food and transportation to work or job search etc...its a one time program here, unless a another huge unafortunate event happens. For me I had money saved etc...and found a place for us to leave, but the people were not moving out for 1 month and the landlord had to do renovations, so I was refrred to the shelter and they helped me out. I actually got a job at the hotel we were staying at, so it worked out and the daycare was across the way, so I never needed the money they gave that was not my issue, my issue was about nowhere to live before I could move in to my place kwim?

I would just do more calling around and see what your options are.

Quoting ConcernedCousin:

the local shelter paid for a hotel? see the only shelter here is a domestic violence one and i called but they only help people being abused. there is salvation army thrift shop here but not a shelter. if i could just get childcare, i could look for work :(

Quoting bzzybeemomof3:

I left my ex, we were not married and my DD was only 1. He was an out of town truck driver gone 14 days home 2 days. I couldn't work at that point. I was in school full-time and could not afford to pay someone or another daycare to watch her after school.

So I could work. I know divorcing is way different from just leaving someone. I get that. But I had lack of support and resources till I left.

When I left DD and I lived in a hotel till I found a place, our family shelter paid for it for 2 months till our place was available. And from there I found work and afford daycare etc.....

Since then o had 2 more kids and am well off, I learned to save more money and continued to work till 2011.

Its hard a first but it usually works out

 

 

 

steviechick
by Gold Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 4:06 PM
1 mom liked this

group hug

Robsessed98
by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 6:43 PM
Check with DHS or social services, local shelters, dv groups and churches. There is help out there, you just have to reach out and find it. If he's abusive, do it now. Most anywhere would be better than having your children under the roof of an abuser.
ConcernedCousin
by Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 6:47 PM

he is NOT abusive. just a liar and a cheat. but i made some more calls today and have some things in the work so hopefully they will pan out!!


Quoting Robsessed98:

Check with DHS or social services, local shelters, dv groups and churches. There is help out there, you just have to reach out and find it. If he's abusive, do it now. Most anywhere would be better than having your children under the roof of an abuser.



cjsmom1
by Gold Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 12:23 AM

bump

Robsessed98
by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 1:00 AM
Oops, sorry. I missed the word 'not' before 'abusive'. I'm glad you're getting info though, because kids know when mom and dad aren't happy and it has lasting effects on them as well, especially when they're old enough to have their own relationship. Good luck and stick with your education.

Quoting ConcernedCousin:

he is NOT abusive. just a liar and a cheat. but i made some more calls today and have some things in the work so hopefully they will pan out!!



Quoting Robsessed98:

Check with DHS or social services, local shelters, dv groups and churches. There is help out there, you just have to reach out and find it. If he's abusive, do it now. Most anywhere would be better than having your children under the roof of an abuser.




LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jul. 10, 2013 at 9:27 AM
1 mom liked this
Get everything together before you make the leap
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