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court is this thur. and hes threating.... (long)

Posted by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 9:59 AM
  • 11 Replies

ok let me start by saying i was a single mom for a couple of years but i was lucky enough to find DF i have two kids ds who is 5 and dd who is 1. this thur im going to court for custody for ds i have been going threw is now since 2010 last year primary custody got granted to ds dad with me only seeing ds 3weekends a month and every wed. for like 2 hours. the g.a.l said he got p.c because the schools are better where his dad is and i was unstable (had him at 17 and moved like 5times within the 1st year of his life but once i turned 18 i got my own place and staied there for 2years and ive been at my current palce for another 2years) anyways alot has happend since the last court date and things are looking really good for me. well just like before the last court date ds dad will threatin that if i get him full time then hes going to pack his things and leave. tries to put this guilt trip on me saying all he had was me and his son and now all he has is his son and if i take that from him then he has nothing and theres no reason for him to be here. hes always been more on the depressed side. ive tried to explain to him that regardless of what happens his son will always need him if he was to just walk away it would affect our son in a really bad way (he loves and looks up to his father alot) i would never keep our son from him. i mean i just went a year only seeing him 9days a month so i know how it feels to not have him so i would let him get him extra time. ive even told the g.a.l that id like for his father to have him every weekend instead of just 3. even thow were no longer together i still care about what happenends to him and i know how depressed he can get and how he gets and i want him to live his life and be happy not just for hiself but also for our son. so i guess what im asking is, does anyone have any advice if i do get ds on how to handle his dad. also one more thing his dad tells our son everything that a child dose not need to know so im scared that if things go in my favor hes going to tell him mommy is taking you from me or someting along those lines.

by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 9:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
krisnkids
by Gold Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 10:12 AM
2 moms liked this

What do you mean by "a lot has happened"? Normally for a change of custody to take place there must be a change of cirucmstances in the CHILD's life, not in mom's (ncp) life.

arkmomma06
by Bronze Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 10:16 AM
Good luck
dawncs
by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 11:29 AM
1 mom liked this

You have to remind him that Daddy took him from you being there for him full time. Both of you have a right to miss him when he is not there with you. However, remind him that it is not right to guilt trip him at all with adult matters because it is making him have less of a childhood. You might want to bring this up in court. You need to tell your ex that our son has one childhood only. Does he want to have good memories of it and be there for you both as he gets older. Or would he rather have his son be very bitter about his childhood being ruined by adult matters that he keeps bringing up which could result in him not wanting to be around him as an adult. See if you can get 50/50 custody meaning every other week or more time. You should bring up his depression which could result in him not being able to fully care for him if he does not medically treat it.

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

steviechick
by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 11:32 AM

My ex screwed up his relationship with our daughter simply because he's an ass.  His problem to deal with.  However, he has left our daughter to accept and deal with a deadbeat/loser for a father.  Not fair to her. 

Hugs, mama!  I concur with Dawn.  Try and get 50/50 custody that way you both have time to spend with your child - good quality time hopefully.

easinpc
by Gold Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 11:35 AM

Hugs!!!

easinpc
by Gold Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 11:36 AM

Oh and good luck at court!!

mlb456
by Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 1:46 PM
His dad got shot over drugs like 3months after he got primary custody thank god it was my weekend with ds. And since its been going on for so long hes getting caught up in lies that he told to the gal.

Quoting krisnkids:

What do you mean by "a lot has happened"? Normally for a change of custody to take place there must be a change of cirucmstances in the CHILD's life, not in mom's (ncp) life.

mlb456
by Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 1:50 PM
Thank you for your advice i will talk to him again and explain all that.. but the 50/50 wont work we live to far apart for his school and we used to do 3 1/2 days 3 1/2 days when we did live closer to each other but that was horiable cuz his dad dosent really have rules or a scheduel at all so when he comes back to me hes all outta wack tryin to stay up til 12 1am and a lot of other things along those lines

Quoting dawncs:

You have to remind him that Daddy took him from you being there for him full time. Both of you have a right to miss him when he is not there with you. However, remind him that it is not right to guilt trip him at all with adult matters because it is making him have less of a childhood. You might want to bring this up in court. You need to tell your ex that our son has one childhood only. Does he want to have good memories of it and be there for you both as he gets older. Or would he rather have his son be very bitter about his childhood being ruined by adult matters that he keeps bringing up which could result in him not wanting to be around him as an adult. See if you can get 50/50 custody meaning every other week or more time. You should bring up his depression which could result in him not being able to fully care for him if he does not medically treat it.

Oliviasmom72
by Silver Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 4:08 PM
In order to get custody you are going to have to prove Dad is unfit. Why are you wanting custody? Just for the heck of it? There is nothing indicating in your post that the child is better off with you. ?
cjsmom1
by Platinum Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 12:34 AM

Only communicate via text or email, save everything you guys discuss. You will probably have to prove that your ex is unfit and that you're a better parent.

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