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Single Moms Single Moms

Life goes on, but advice would help...

Posted by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 10:31 PM
  • 9 Replies

I am so thankful for finding this group and all the support that I have recieved. As some of you may know, I have been having a really hard time with the fact that my son is turning one and his, for lack of a better word, sperm donor has never made an attempt to meet him. I am learning that venting on here about life helps with my resentment issues towards him. I have started focusing more on my son and not the fact that his dad refuses to. My son has always been my number one priority from the minute I found out about him. I just wish it was the same with his father.

I am hoping one day that I meet a man who falls in love with Braedey and I both. I have dated a few guys since his dad and I split, and I actually threw away a really good relationship for a man who may have been the one... for another shot at a family with B's dad... only to have my heart shattered again.

To all you mom's doing it alone, how do you handle the loneliness?

by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 10:31 PM
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Replies (1-9):
cjsmom1
by Platinum Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 11:49 PM

 My ex is in the picture, but I've been single since we broke up four years ago. I've always been so focused on school, work, and/or ds that I never really had time to be lonely. Plus the few guys I met were losers that I wouldn't date.

happymommy1105
by Gold Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 11:53 PM

it's frustrating- esp in the beginning.  but honestly you fill your life with other things.  i always filled my life with work, school, church, volunteering, my son's school, etc.  

it is just a matter of figuring out what makes you happy and doing it.

amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 3:22 PM

It's actually gotten easier over time... except when my kids are on extended visits with their dad.  

Bzzzmommy
by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 3:29 PM
I'm lucky I don't have to share time with him ever...
DivaKim
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 1:31 AM
My daughter will be 13 this year. Her father left us while I was pregnant. Had never seen her, never sent even one dime for her care, nor has his family even called to ask about her. He is suppose to send $400 a month through child support but he is always moving and has nothing in his name, doesn't file taxes. A real winner. I am actually glad he has stopped harassing me via phone. He moved to the west coast right after she was born.
All I can say is enjoy your child and keep up a brave front. Surround yourself with positive friends and family. I love my daughter more than any man. Head up high and good luck
VivaciousKay
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 11:48 AM

Focus on other things, my child's father walked away as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I'm not saying its easy but you have to put your child's emotions and feelings first and he can tell when his mom is upset whether you show it or not. We can not control our children's father's actions but we can control ours. Don't worry about him because one day when your child is old enough to understand and comprehend things on his own his father will have to deal with that. So just focus on things that you and your son like to do. Teach how to do things early. That should keep your focus.

Jenn8604
by Gold Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 11:53 AM
1 mom liked this
I focus on my son myself and work to provide for my son. I try to be healthy so my son always has me and spend as much time w him as I can.
The loneliness doesn't go away. I've been single, completely dateless in fact, since Feb 08 while prego w him. I still have feelings of utter loneliness, at times, but I just keep going. Whenever I'm feeling down i try to remember to pray to keep going and be thankful for what i have. it isn't easy tho.
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Bres_Mommy_11
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 12:01 PM

AH! Girl, I am in a similar boat. Except my daughter's sperm donor won't acknowledge the fact he even has a daughter. I knew him for two weeks before I got spiked at a party and delt with the consequences. (He wasn't the one that did it, but he took advantage of the opportunity while he was wasted.) Anyway, my little girl will be two in September and I just married the greatest guy in the world, even after breaking his heart a few times before. If they're meant to be, they will be. And TRUST your gut on things. You're living for that little man now, and someone else will, too. Just gotta make sure you set your standards high, cuz you two deserve the best. I am torn knowing that my daughter will question her "other half." And though she does not and will not know him now, what's important is he knows that YOU loved him enough to find someone else that will love him and give him way more than his "dad" ever could. And maybe sometime he will come around. It's tough, and I'm sorry that there are big enough douche bags out there to keep us girls hanging like this. Do the deed, DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES! I don't know why men think they can just pretend like things "don't exist" just because the baby wasn't in their bellies! But ya know what? WE get the blessings for such beautiful children and raising them well. And why would I wanna share her with and let her look up to a "dad" (if you can even call him that) when he's nothing but a child himself. AH! Aggrivates me haha.

steviechick
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 4:42 PM
1 mom liked this

My ex has become a sperm donor.  Before his disgusting affair we were married for 26 years.  We share a daughter - now 19.  I have decided that life simply goes on even though I'm single and have very few friends.  I've joined an on-line dating site that so far has been very disappointing.  I keep busy by going to the gym and hoping to lose weight and get down to a size 8, getting toned and staying fit.  My DD lives with me while attending a local college and working two jobs - hopefully one in a few months.  I attend church service, meet up with friends, go on runs, and stay busy working on my house and spending time with my daughter.  Until Mr. Right actually comes along I make myself busy and try not to think about men too much.  If this on-line dating thing is a bust I'll just continue on with my as usual.  I'd rather be single then be married to my ex.  He was a miserable husband and has made a lousy father. 

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