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Online dating? Do you/Have you? **vent** ((PIOG))

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Have you ever talked to someone or dated someone you met online? Seems like all the men that I've came in contact with (4) are either batsh!t crazy or just plain stupid. So I've decided to try the online thing and see what happens. Yea that's a no go as well.

Met a guy on Tagged about a week and a half ago and we've been chatting quite frequently. I was telling my friend about him and she asked if I had looked him up (I have a habit of doing that because of my ex) It had slipped my mind but when I looked him up? Probation violation and domestic violence charges smh

Do I just attract craziness or something? I've been with 4 guys in my life and I'm 24yrs old. Ex/bby daddy is a lunatic, 2nd bf was a jailbird bouncing back and forth between me, prison and his baby's mother, 3rd guy was a fwb who ended up wanting a *prostitute* for himself and then 4th was fwb from work who was married/seperated but apparently was never married in the 1st place. SMH

Anyways, I asked the guy if he had a criminal history and he owned up to it which I'm surprised because most men wouldn't or they would try to play it off. He said he didn't hit her more like a hard shove but damn isn't that the same thing??

I just want to find someone who is decent, has good morals/standards, Christian (or at least believes in God) I don't want him to play daddy or anything to my son, just be there for both him and I. Works, eventually settle down, get married and have a couple more kids. Is that too much to ask?? Seriously? SMH

by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 8:10 AM
Replies (31-39):
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 7:46 PM
I've heard all the horror stories, but I met the nicest guy in the world 24 hours after setting up my POF account. We have been together a little over a year and just got married in June. I guess my experience was some sort of miracle.
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 10:46 PM
1 mom liked this
I've been on both pay sites and free sites. And to be honest, there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of difference. I've met some people on OkCupid (free) that were mostly regular guys actually looking for a relationship. Any dating we do, online or in person, we are gonna have to wade through the crazies!
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:41 AM

I am 36 yrs old and have been in your shoes for a very very long time.  I started doing the dating sites back in my early 20"s like you.  Yes, I eventually had to pay for them so I could find decent men.  Now I have a terrific 3 1/2 yr old boy and I met his father online.  Well, after dating for almost a year and having sex ONLY 1 time, I got pregnant.  Then his true colors came out.  He told me that he has been a meth addict on and off for 15 years.  Holy shit, I couldn't believe it.  Well, I made him make a decision and it was NOT to be with us.  

You have to hang in there, I know how frustrating it is.  I would join then get offline for 6 months or so and then find another site.  But think about this, God does not give you what you can not handle.  

I am sorry to tell you this but you are going to have to pay for them.   

No, I am no longer on any sites because my long time childhood friend "finally" told me how he feels and has always felt about me.  So, we are trying it out and I pray everyday that its meant to be.  

Good luck and hang in there you are sooooo young!!!!!!!!!!!

by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:41 AM
Its just an idea.. but stop looking.

Just focus on your child(ren) and you for awhile.

Many will say church is a good place to meet someone.. but I would be wary of attending church for the hopes of finding someone.

I know its hard and lonely. I joined this to meet other women who I can connect with because honestly, as a single mom we are a bit vulnerable and anyone with bad intentions can seek us out quite easily.

I tthink good men feel the same as you.

I have met people who were not for me and my son but solely for themselves and realized that I needed to change my outlook and realize I was better than that.

Plus, its dangerous to date online. It may open you and your child(ren) to harmful things (just saying from experience).

Not trying to dampen your outlook, but do you believe you are good enough to wait for? I hope the answer is yes.

Its hard meeting someone when you are all work and all kids activities.. but I think that's also a good life.

If you do find something I hope its healthy and happy!!!

Be safe and be good to you.
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:45 AM
Besides dating.. what are your other interests? Hobbies?... I am asking because maybe doing some things that will enhance your life personally?

I started asking myself that..I don't have a lot of time but just started martial arts.. I like the challenge, work out and its never a bad idea to learn some ways to defend and ooooh.. the confidence.

Maybe this is a time for you?

Maybe in investing in you, someone will come along naturally? Who knows.. but at least your doing something(s) you enjoy.
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:51 AM
My posts are just suggestions and a different outlook, so I am not intending offense against online dating. Just throwing my view out there in case it is helpful to you.

I have a friend who was very successful with online. It just rarely happens and I guess for me the less headache and heartache the better I can be for someone someday and most of all for me and my child.
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 11:45 AM

datehookup is free. Just like all the other sites you have to weed through the creepers and yes there are plenty of them on there.

by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 1:23 PM
I've done the online dating thing. I've met a fee really good guys. I still talk to a couple. One of my best friends i dated before and met on pof. We only broke up because hr moved back to ga since he got out of the airforce. My last ex met on pof. Amazing guy. Love him to death and met him on pof... You just got to weed out the losers. Helps that I'm kind of shallow and if you don't have a good job or working toward a good job i don't really talk to you.
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 2:14 PM

I agree with everyone you have to weed out the ugly, jobless, creepers that are just looking to hook up and take advantage of you.  I would talk back and forth online for a while with them and if they even mentioned "hooking up" I was done and quit talking to them.  So far I have met 1 man that didn't just jump off the deep end about sex, I met up with him and he's been hanging around since.  I must say im falling for the man and I can't stop it (never thought I would date or be happy with anyone again).  I just told him last night that he's been a gentleman towards me and my son and I like him for just who he is.  Hang in there when it's supposed to happen it will I promise.  

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