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Single Moms Single Moms

Uh-oh Nervous

Posted by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 6:50 PM
  • 11 Replies

I got asked out on a date. This is the first time since I've become a single mom. He's someone that I've known for a long time, but we stopped talking somewhere along the line. I've been single since April. But my ex was abusive and a drug addict so there hasn't been a connection there for awhile. I haven't been on a date in forever though what should I talk about besides the kids lol. He knows that I have two but he wants to get to know me now that we are grown up.... And there is the issue of a babysitter so I will have to think about this...

by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 6:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
pregosngmom
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 7:09 PM

I've wondered some of this myself, the what if's...  I think that it is respectable of him wanting to get to know you and by that he knows you have kids.  In the same sentence you don't want your kids knowing him yet, right?  So maybe it can be a picnic where "mom" meets old friend at park for lunch that way your kids can play and you guys can talk a little.  It could be a make or break situation, but it's better to break at first .  At least , you won't waste your time if he's not into being a potential family man.. 

GoldenLinds
by Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 7:24 PM
1 mom liked this
He knows you are a packaged deal. And he still balled up enough to ask. Yay! Its ok to talk about your kids. They are a part of you. But try to use this as a chance tocrediscover you. The not mommy part of you that is. Do something you haven't done in years whether its going for a long drive or horseback riding or even just drawing. Make it a date. Do it together. Getting out of your familiar setting will help open up topics too. Talk about places you've been. Things tou wanted to do. Odeas you've had. Whatever.
My SO and I went to dinner on our first date. Bbq. And we didn't want to go our separate wayys yet so.... he went grocery shopping with me. Lol. I make good use of my baby sitter lol. We had a great time. We got to learn some of our likes and dislikes while shopping. Then we good a silly isea and we bought every flavor of bubble gum we could find and had a taste test party in the car. It was so much fun!
It was a while before I brought my son too even though he would have been fine if I had brought him that first night. When I did he had waterguns waiting and then we went for half price shakes at sonic and my ds fell in love with riding in his jeep. Simple things we do together but its always fun.
mommyonboard08
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 8:22 PM

Yes he knows I have two kids. I have talked about them with him as far as what they're names are how old they are and funny stuff they've done but, No I wouldn't let my kids meet anyone until I'm semi-serious at least. They are 20 months and 7 months so they wouldn't know it was a date but I wouldn't want them to get attached to anyone and have there hearts broken again. There father isn't in their lives at all, he's not allowed to have visitaion.Lol yes the non-mommy part of me has disappeared some so it'd would be fun to just go out.

Bero2007
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 8:31 PM

Just go with the flow of things. I went on my first date last week as a single mom and the guy was terribly boring and I won't be seeing him again. I'm figuring that was my practice round to get the nerves out lol. I"m going on a date with a different guy tomorrow. I'm hoping I won't want to stab myself on in the eye to get out of it lol

mommyonboard08
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 8:44 PM

Lol no don't do that! I already know that this guy isn't boring I just hope we still have enough in common to have fun together. And I'm hoping the nerves will go away!

cjsmom1
by Gold Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 9:06 PM

Talk about each others likes and dislikes, work, general getting to know you stuff.

steviechick
by Gold Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:45 AM

Rekindle that friendship by getting to know each other.  You can talk about your kids but get back into the subject of what brought you two together like old times.   Communication and getting to know each other is a good way to break the ice.  I'm sure he's just as nervous about going on a date with you as you are with him. 

mmpdrs07
by Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 3:44 PM

I just had my "first" date since my split up, which ended with I have seen him every day/ every other day since the day we met.  I guess we hit it off well.  But I went to the park with my little guy and we just sat and talked while little man played.  He knew I had a son and I figured a day at the park getting to know him and also putting out there that I have a son wouldn't hurt.  But I also remember how OMG nervous I was about it all LOL.  Good luck!

Saurusmom8
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 10:30 AM
He is probably more nervous than you. :) That's the truth. I jumped too quickly into a relationship after 5yrs of being alone.. and I am glad you are being smart.

Relax. Your kids are a big part of your life and there is nothing wrong with that. If he is right for you he will "get" that and not be turned off by it. I would make sure that you are invesiting in you this season though.. make sure you understand that your feelings matter as well.

I think we all get nervous. For me its that my time is so valubale that when I have free time I don't want to spend it with someone who doesn't appreciate me or like me. Being a mom is a different level as you know, and I have learned that it is what it is and I refuse to have to choose between being a single lady and a mom. I am both.

I hope you two have a good time!! Just be yourself. A good person doesn't need you to perform for them. :)
Saurusmom8
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 10:32 AM
LOL!


Quoting Bero2007:

Just go with the flow of things. I went on my first date last week as a single mom and the guy was terribly boring and I won't be seeing him again. I'm figuring that was my practice round to get the nerves out lol. I"m going on a date with a different guy tomorrow. I'm hoping I won't want to stab myself on in the eye to get out of it lol


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