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Ex sent me a birthday card and I ripped it up wwyd?

Posted by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 7:00 AM
  • 17 Replies

My ex who just returned in our son's life this past March after not seeing him for a year txted me happy birthday yesterday. And shoved a card in my mailbox when I came home from work. He did ask if I was home and let me know he was going to quick drop it off(along with mutual friends that had cards too btw). We haven't been together for 2 years and he pulls this crap off. I txted our mutual friends, thanked them for the card and I did not open up the ex's. I immediately ripped it apart and tossed it in the trash. If I had a backyard I'd burn it,lol. My son didn't see me doing this. I txted him prior and told him 'I know you were being nice but please don't wish me happy birthday anymore or send me cards. We're not friends, just exes. Just remeber Zac's(our son) birthday." He txted back 'I wanted to do it, it's a special day. I'm not going to be mean just cause you're my ex." Some of you may think I'm being a bitch, but if you went through the emotional abuse and some physical abuse I have, then you'd be just as cold. He has a new gf, he should please her. If I ever meet her if things get serious between them to the point our son would meet her, I'd tell warn her. God bless her too if she has to deal with his moocher family too,lol. Anywho, what would you ladies do?

by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 7:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
bjane01
by Member on Jul. 13, 2013 at 7:25 AM
1 mom liked this
My ex likes to give me things. It was an abusive relationship that took me years to get out of. Way too many years! I told him not to get me things anymore. Now he gives the kids things to give to me and it is supposedly from them. Like jewelery! Ugh. I want to refuse it. But I just view it as from them using their dad's money.

I have learned that he is doing this to keep me on the hook so to speak. It is a tactic to stay in your heart and make you feel like he is still a good guy. Also, it is used so you "owe" him something in return. You did right by not falling for it. A normal guy might do this to be nice. But a manipulative abusive ex...no.
caramel85
by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 8:33 AM

 Yeah, I understand. I hate the idea he still thinks deep in his heart I'm still his girl. I see it in his eyes when he talks to me when he comes to pick up our son. Can't wait til my son's old enough to go visit his dad on his own then I won't have to face that loser ever again.

cjsmom1
by Platinum Member on Jul. 13, 2013 at 8:34 AM
My ex gets me gifts but we have a great (dysfunctional) relationship. As long as your son didn't see you do it then it's ok.
I wouldn't warn the new gf if I met her. I'm sure your ex would deny it and make you sound lije the crazy ex.
caramel85
by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 8:36 AM

 

Quoting cjsmom1:

My ex gets me gifts but we have a great (dysfunctional) relationship. As long as your son didn't see you do it then it's ok.
I wouldn't warn the new gf if I met her. I'm sure your ex would deny it and make you sound lije the crazy ex.

 True. But there is the possibility she could believe me and see I'm a nice honest person. I have total control of my anger for him when he's in the flesh. Only for my son's sake.

sid1083
by Silver Member on Jul. 13, 2013 at 11:21 AM
3 moms liked this
Do what you need to do for your own sanity. Though I wouldn't waste my breath on warning the gf - your relationship with bd and her relationship with him are very different and most times people in that situation aren't apt to believe the ex. If he's going to be abusive to her, unfortunately she's going to need to find out for herself.
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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jul. 14, 2013 at 11:18 AM

I probably would have done the same thing. 

katemckenzie
by Member on Jul. 14, 2013 at 11:22 AM
I don't know if I would have shredded it. Maybe just thrown it away. Id have told him "thanks for the thought, but id appreciate if you didn't do things like that since we aren't together." The text wouldn't have bothered me though.
ms-superwoman
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 11:23 AM

I don't blame you.

steviechick
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 4:04 PM

My idiot of an ex actually sent me flowers for Mother's Day a year after we divorced.  Our daughter was about to graduate from HS, so we thought he was trying to kiss up so he could attend her graduation.  It didn't work.  I would never ever allow him to see her graduate after the abuse he put me and our daughter through.  I could have easily sent the flowers to his tramp but I preferred to keep his gift on the downlow.  I kept the flowers (took a picture of them) and they ended up lasting for well into two weeks.  It must have set him back $100.  He never did get to see his daughter graduate.  I did, however, get a lovely bouquest of flowers.  LOL!

I would have tore up the card, too. 

easinpc
by Gold Member on Jul. 15, 2013 at 4:55 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm not sure what i'd do.

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