Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Single Moms Single Moms

Should I feel angry?

Posted by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:36 PM
  • 19 Replies

Back story, my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half.  I'm a single mom to a 4 year old and she is the greatest person on this earth.  My daughter and I never go to his family's house when she's around and I complained about it.  He agreed to let us go to his dad's house.

Well, she wasn't behaving the way she should, he ended up being incredibly stern with her and I ended up being incredibly upset that he took that initiative into his own hands (she is very sensitive and so I try to talk to my DD instead of being stern the first time things happen).  We didn't talk about it for a while, but he let it slip that he doesn't like it when my DD comes over to his house.

I felt really upset and offended.  I really don't understand why I did, but I felt like he was, in a way, trying to exile my daughter.

What do you guys think?  Should I talk to him about it?  Help!

by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:36 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Candie1015
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:44 PM
I would be very upset! I could never be with a man that is like that towards my daughter. If you don't like her to come over I am not coming over either. Can't handle that too bad your lose bey. Maybe he was raised different and believes she is disrespectful or something idk but it sounds like you need to have a serious convo about your boundaries for him towards your daughter....if he can't go with those boundaries, accept your dd, and let her come over with no attitude then I would kick him to the curb.
dtm1491
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:49 PM
1 mom liked this

I could never be with someone my child was not 100% welcomed by. I would take this as a big red flag that he isn't in it for the long haul.You have a child. If he commits to you he commits to her. It's a package deal.

ChromeCowgirl37
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:54 PM

Yes. You are well within your rights as a mother to be angry. Our kids come first and they are always going to be there. Maybe he just isn't ready to date someone with a kid.

Cheyenne Fall Risk Anderson

Admin Roller Derby Mamas

www.cafemom.com/group/ACTIVEDerbyMamas

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:01 PM
Couldn't have said it better I'm a package deal

Quoting dtm1491:

I could never be with someone my child was not 100% welcomed by. I would take this as a big red flag that he isn't in it for the long haul.You have a child. If he commits to you he commits to her. It's a package deal.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sid1083
by Silver Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:17 PM
Why was it a big issue to you that you never went to his family's house with dd?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:36 PM

I agree with the others. If he doesn't fully accept your daughter, you need to roll on and find someone else. If he feels that way after a year and a half, it's not going to change or get better.

happymommy1105
by Gold Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:47 PM

nothing to talk about.  

he doesn't like your child being around- y'all are a package deal.  time to break up and move on.

mamashley
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 11:29 PM

Personally I would be extremely upset. I include my daughter in my all aspects of my life and expect anyone who wants to be a part of my life, S\O or otherwise, to understand, accept and embrace that fact. You need to at least discuss it with him, and let him know that it isn't ok how he reacted, nor is it ok with you that he doesn't want to, essentially, make her a part of his life. I'm sorry that you are going through this.

hugging

steviechick
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:42 AM

Your daughter is your life now.   If you plan on meeting Mr. Right he should accept every bit of your life and that includes a child.  I would be extremely ticked off about this.

mybabiesmama916
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:44 AM

 Yea you should be he isn't accepting your child, time to think about possibly moving on.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN