Thought I could trust him.... what can i do

[Shygirl951]

Me and my ex have been spilt up about 3 months now and I've had my son. I moved half way across state and before I left we made a visitation agreement. So, the day I'm supposed to come down I miss my train and am going to be late, he get's an attitude and tells me not to come. So, this past Sat. he comes to get him for his visitation and doesn't he tell me don't worry about coming to pick my son up because I'm not getting him back anyways. Then proceeds to later tell me that since I'm in a different county and he now has my son he filed for custody out there, I already filed out here. And he also got a restraining order against me and an order of protection for my son so don't try to come get him. What the fuck is going on can he do that!?! I'm heading straight back to the court in the morning and can't afford a lawyer I don't know what to do. I know I'm stupid for trusting him but what the fuck we agreed on all this stuff. I'm a liar and unreliable because I missed my train, REALLY!!! OMG what do I do.

[steviechick]

FIrst of all, he can't put a RO against you unless you are deemed unfit.  He is blowing smoke about that.  Secondly, since you can't afford an attorney go to your local child services office and ask for legal advice.  If anything, they can guide you to a public defender.  You are the mother and naturally you will get custody.  Your stbx can't keep your son without having a RO in place, so he's putting himself into legal trouble.  I would notify the local sheriff's office after you get in contact with the defender. 

[easinpc]

[mybabiesmama916]

 Yes he can do that, but you can fight it especially if he has no reason to put a protection order. You should have finished in court before you let him take him.

[steviechick]

Your stbx can't put an RO against you unless you have threatened him, your son or have done bodily harm to your son.  A judge won't grant your stbx an RO unless there is evidence of abuse (eye witnesses, police reports).

[RJC78]

And once there is an RO in place, you will be served ASAP.  SDO don't just take his word for it.  Call your attorney!

 

[Oliviasmom72]

Has paternity been estalished meaning is he on the birth cert or did he sign the acknowledgement of paterity? If Not then he has no rights to the kid. I assume you were not married? Without a custod order you pretty much have custody but some states will give him some rights if he is the legal father meaning you may have to file for an emergency custody hearing.

He cannot get an RO on you for no reason, nor have you been served it. That is probably not true esp. if you have not been seeved.

The police mayor may not help you since this a civil matter but you can call them. Otherwise you need to talk to an attorney to find out the next steps on getting the baby back.

 

[faerie75]

 if you werent served then he doesnt have an order of protection. if he is on the birth cert, he has equal rights in some states, and the cops wont do anything. but if he isnt, then id show up w the cops and get him. and if he was a small baby and even if he was on the birth cert, id stalk his ass and take my kid.

they say possession is 9/10 of the law but in many custody cases, actually the parent that is with holding and not making the kid available to the other parent is looked upon poorly.

[lnrmom]

Have you been served with this RO? If not, there is no RO in place. You need to call the county clerk, and possibly the police. Take the visitation order with you. 211 is a number that might be able to help you, if you live in the US.

[OCALAMOMOFTWINS]

If you have already filed for custody in one county, then I don't think he can file in his county. When I went through this, I had to swear that there was not another ongoing case anywhere else.

[OCALAMOMOFTWINS]

As for a RO, he has to have some kind of evidence.