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Is it hard to find someone when you are a single mom with one child?

Posted by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 6:46 PM
  • 55 Replies

Im focused on me and my baby....she is and will always be my first priority. Im just wondering if it will be hard to find someone because it seems like everyone is saying that most guys now a days are not like any other, and most of them just cant handle someone with a kid. Me personally though, I think a woman with a kid would be more lovable for a man. I quess it just depends on the man? Obviously. But tell me, have you met someone after becoming a single mother? Any stories?

by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 6:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
dawncs
by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 6:50 PM

I recommend joining Parents Without Partners (http://www.parentswithoutpartners.org/) because they have great activities for single parents. Some have found love through the organization.

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

quickbooksworm
by Bronze Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 6:52 PM

Honestly, I don't necessarily find a hard time finding men to date, I am just very picky.  I was in a serious relationship for a long time after I got divorced and it fell apart because I would not (and legally cannot) pick up my son and follow his career all over the country on a whim.  He was great with my son and would have been a good father if he would have settled down.  Now, however, he got trapped into marriage by a mail order bride who is sporting my engagement ring on her man hands. 

The biggest challenge I have is I don't date men with children.  I've done it and it just never works out.  My son is an only child and not used to other people invading his space (he's fine with sharing, but someone else ransacking his room and breaking his stuff is just too  much for him).  I'm not terribly tolerant of being told by someone who has a kid every other weekend how to parent when that person's kid is tearing up my house.  And I'm not into baby mama drama.  Plus, I don't want more children.

cjsmom1
by Gold Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 7:38 PM

I find it hard, but only because of my own guilt. I work a lot and when I'm not working I feel like not being with him is wrong.

Pooge
by Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 8:13 PM
Yes it is hard..my son never met his bio dad till 12. My boyfriend raised him those first 12 years and was a wonderful dad to him..we grew apart is all but remain good friends..now since him I dated little..mainly because of illness and the dating scene stinks! Good luck they may be a few out there.
armyvet06
by Ashley on Jul. 21, 2013 at 8:20 PM
Its hard for me because i tend to find guys who are creepers. And also guys dont tend to like the fact that i live with my parents while i attend school.
mrsary
by Silver Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 8:24 PM
With 1 kid no.
quickbooksworm
by Bronze Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 8:25 PM

I think you will be fine.  There are a lot of men out there perfectly willing to accept another child.  My issue is that I don't want more.  Ever.  My son is old enough to travel without it being horrible and he's super involved in activities.  I just don't want to start all over with diapers and not sleeping at night and all that crap.  I might be cool with adopting an older child if I found the right kid.


Quoting karmakarma:

I really feel this, this is how I am. I don't come with baby daddy issues and I have seen relationship, after relationship etc. fall through because the fighting over that crap. I don't ever want a man with kids. I am scared it will be hard to find someone that will WANT one (my own) you know. I haven't even bothered to try and find anyone at all since I got pregnant. My child is almost 5 now.

Quoting quickbooksworm:

The biggest challenge I have is I don't date men with children.  I've done it and it just never works out.  My son is an only child and not used to other people invading his space (he's fine with sharing, but someone else ransacking his room and breaking his stuff is just too  much for him).  I'm not terribly tolerant of being told by someone who has a kid every other weekend how to parent when that person's kid is tearing up my house.  And I'm not into baby mama drama.  Plus, I don't want more children.




meme0926
by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 8:27 PM

I don't have a problem moving on with dating.  I like to take things slow and I'm not expected a man to be a dad to my child quickly.  I am able to get away and date.  I love spending time with my daughter, in that we do go out and do mother and daughter things.  I don't know,  I still like to have fun! but I guess it is up to the man.  I'm into having fun until the right one comes along.

sthflachk
by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 8:27 PM
My dd is almost 4 and I have yet to have more than a handful of dates in over 3 years.
karmakarma
by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 8:32 PM

Oh I am with you there. One and done. I am afraid I will one day be convinced otherwise, which scares me because I can't handle more kids. I am all set lol.

Quoting quickbooksworm:

I think you will be fine.  There are a lot of men out there perfectly willing to accept another child.  My issue is that I don't want more.  Ever.  My son is old enough to travel without it being horrible and he's super involved in activities.  I just don't want to start all over with diapers and not sleeping at night and all that crap.  I might be cool with adopting an older child if I found the right kid.


Quoting karmakarma:

I really feel this, this is how I am. I don't come with baby daddy issues and I have seen relationship, after relationship etc. fall through because the fighting over that crap. I don't ever want a man with kids. I am scared it will be hard to find someone that will WANT one (my own) you know. I haven't even bothered to try and find anyone at all since I got pregnant. My child is almost 5 now.

Quoting quickbooksworm:

The biggest challenge I have is I don't date men with children.  I've done it and it just never works out.  My son is an only child and not used to other people invading his space (he's fine with sharing, but someone else ransacking his room and breaking his stuff is just too  much for him).  I'm not terribly tolerant of being told by someone who has a kid every other weekend how to parent when that person's kid is tearing up my house.  And I'm not into baby mama drama.  Plus, I don't want more children.





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