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Am I wrong.....or is he????

Posted by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 8:17 PM
  • 27 Replies
My son is entering kindergarten on August 19 and one of the things his school asks for is to "try" to have your child writing his\her name using the correct upper and lower case letters. My son knows how to write his name but using a mix of upper and lower case letters. I decided to sit my son down and have him practice writing his name using the correct format 20 times (I figured it would take like 10- 15 minutes out his day 5 days a week) My son threw a fit, started making excuses (I'm starving, I'm thirsty, I'm tired etc.), started crying. In the middle of all this my ex-husband walks in with his parents, sees him crying and asks what happened....I explained to him. After less than 1 minute my ex-husband turns around and says to me (with the only nasty attitude) "You should just leave him alone, it's his vacation and besides your not a qualified school teacher so let him be, it's not your job". Needless to say I exploded...and my main point to him was that it doesn't take a genius or a school teacher to teach a child to write their name. His sister was also there and she was on my side 100%. I felt so bad arguing with him in front of his family (in his sisters house-where we have to stay for a bit) but in my heart I feel I was not wrong for having my sons best interest in mind.

Was I right or was I wrong??
by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 8:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MandaMom23
by Bronze Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 8:20 PM
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You were right and you are just trying to get your son prepared. Your ex isn't going to help your son at all by making excuses about why he shouldn't do something. Good for you for standing up to him.
PAPASMOM1118
by Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 8:25 PM
Thanks Manda ;-) It kinda took allot because of his family being there but when it comes to my son there is no limit.

Quoting MandaMom23:

You were right and you are just trying to get your son prepared. Your ex isn't going to help your son at all by making excuses about why he shouldn't do something. Good for you for standing up to him.
MandaMom23
by Bronze Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 8:28 PM

 Believe me I understand.  The circumstances were out of your control but you were right.  If you don't try to prepare him then he will be behind in school and that can have a lot of impacts wheter it is just being behind the other kids or have an impact on his confidence when he looks at the other kids.  Keep working hard and getting him ready.

Quoting PAPASMOM1118:

Thanks Manda ;-) It kinda took allot because of his family being there but when it comes to my son there is no limit.

Quoting MandaMom23:

You were right and you are just trying to get your son prepared. Your ex isn't going to help your son at all by making excuses about why he shouldn't do something. Good for you for standing up to him.

 

isaacsmommy68
by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 8:39 PM
1 mom liked this
You were right. If he cannot wright his name he will be behind in kindergarten. It is sad how they push the kids so early. But, you don't want him to start out behind. My so was not reading by 1st grade and it took a long time to catch him up.
PAPASMOM1118
by Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 9:02 PM
Thank you :-) He can write his name but not the way the "school" wants it. But your right nowadays they push kids so hard in school and no one wants their child to stand out from the others in that kind of way or be left behind.

Quoting isaacsmommy68:

You were right. If he cannot wright his name he will be behind in kindergarten. It is sad how they push the kids so early. But, you don't want him to start out behind. My so was not reading by 1st grade and it took a long time to catch him up.
krisnkids
by Silver Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 9:51 PM
1 mom liked this

You are both wrong. 

You are wrong. He can write his name, he's fine. Let the teachers corrrect the upper and lower case letters. I have seen 1st and 2nd graders mix up their letters, its not a big deal and absolutely no reason to have a child in tears over. 20-25 mins a day? 5x a week? Do not expect perfection from a 5 year old, you will never get it.

He is wrong, you are just as much of a teacher to the child as a school teacher.

Add in that you were arguing in front of family, not sure if you were arguing in front of the child. 

PAPASMOM1118
by Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 10:13 PM
Thank you for your input. I don't expect perfection from my child but if I could help do one thing to help my child progress (even just a little bit) I'm gonna try. The reason why he was in tears was because he wanted to go and play his games and thought throwing a tantrum would get him out of it, lil did he know, he got nap time instead. Also I never argue/fight in front of my son. I may have once I think lol, but by mistake.

I know sometimes on here when you tell someone they are wrong they get all snappy. Do not take my response that way :-)


Quoting krisnkids:

You are both wrong. 

You are wrong. He can write his name, he's fine. Let the teachers corrrect the upper and lower case letters. I have seen 1st and 2nd graders mix up their letters, its not a big deal and absolutely no reason to have a child in tears over. 20-25 mins a day? 5x a week? Do not expect perfection from a 5 year old, you will never get it.

He is wrong, you are just as much of a teacher to the child as a school teacher.

Add in that you were arguing in front of family, not sure if you were arguing in front of the child. 

Saurusmom8
by Bronze Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 10:22 PM
1 mom liked this
For him to say you are not qualified is off base. We are our childrens first and lasting teachers through life. Being active and involved in our kids education is one of the responsibilites (and joys) of being a parent.

Just lay off of having him sit and focus too long. He will be okay. Maybe just spontaneous learning (or teachable moments)..

The school system is a little over board in test scores and numbers now but remember you are the one that knows your childs limits. You know that point of learning in which they can be stretched and where it becomes a wall. Let your child show you.

Keep introducing opportunity (don't give up).. your kid will not be in the 12th grade not knowing how to spell his name.

Its unfortunate your ex dishonored you that way and I hope not infront of your kid. The child will see its okay if he doesn't listen to you because daddy will bail him out.

You stood your ground. That's good.
Robsessed98
by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 10:28 PM
1 mom liked this
You were right. Not only were you teaching your son and working on meeting the school's request, you were also preparing him for being in school. He's gonna have to learn to do work when they give it to him and he'll end up in trouble if he doesn't learn to just do it without excuses or crying.
PAPASMOM1118
by Member on Jul. 22, 2013 at 12:02 AM
Thank you for your response. I see that maybe I shouldn't have put 20-25 minutes but just wanted him to sit long enough to write his name at least 20 times. Whether it took 5 minutes, 10 minutes....honestly I probably would of called it quits after 15 minutes. And unfortunately he did say it in front of our son. But I really have the last say because our son is ALWAYS with me.

Quoting Saurusmom8:

For him to say you are not qualified is off base. We are our childrens first and lasting teachers through life. Being active and involved in our kids education is one of the responsibilites (and joys) of being a parent.



Just lay off of having him sit and focus too long. He will be okay. Maybe just spontaneous learning (or teachable moments)..



The school system is a little over board in test scores and numbers now but remember you are the one that knows your childs limits. You know that point of learning in which they can be stretched and where it becomes a wall. Let your child show you.



Keep introducing opportunity (don't give up).. your kid will not be in the 12th grade not knowing how to spell his name.



Its unfortunate your ex dishonored you that way and I hope not infront of your kid. The child will see its okay if he doesn't listen to you because daddy will bail him out.



You stood your ground. That's good.
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