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Dealing with a married Dad and his wife.

Posted by on Jul. 22, 2013 at 11:55 PM
  • 21 Replies

My daughter is 17 months and I share 50-50 joint phyiscal custody of her. She goes one week from Wednesday at 6 til Sunday at 6 and the next week from Thursday at 6 til Sunday at 6. The last two weeks he has sent me a text a couple hours after our daughter was picked up saying that her crotch is red. I give her a bath, a clean set of clothes and a clean diaper before she goes every time. I haven't seen any problems with her gentials and the last time he sent the text of her being red I told him to meet me at the ER to get it checked out to which he replied that it was fine he would put vaseline on her like he and his wife always do while she is there with them and they never have trouble with any redness in her gential area. How do I not let him get to me or what can I do to get him to stop, it is like he is trying to make a case against me to find me unfit.

by on Jul. 22, 2013 at 11:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ChromeCowgirl37
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 1:01 AM

Documentation. Keep a journal that travels back and forth with your daughter about what she eats, when she sleeps, and any time something like that pops up. It may not be a bad idea to take pics before she leaves, I know it sounds weird, but it could protect you in the long run...

Cheyenne Fall Risk Anderson

Admin Roller Derby Mamas

www.cafemom.com/group/ACTIVEDerbyMamas

Jmama_of_3
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 1:07 AM
2 moms liked this

Was worried if I took pics then he would call CPS on me again and try to tell them that I am doing child porngraphy on her. I was thinking of every time he or his wife came to pick her up to make sure I check her gentials in front of them so they know I know if they are red or not. I told him to meet me at the ER knowing he wouldn't do it and then if something came up I could say well if he was really concerned or she was really red like he says she was then why not take her to the ER to get her checked out.

Jmama_of_3
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 1:10 AM

As for the journal sending back and forth, he wouldn't even give me pictures of her and his family to make a book to send back and forth to help with her screaming and crying when he comes and picks her up. So I know he won't agree to a journal.

ChromeCowgirl37
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 1:19 AM
The journal is usually recommended by the courts. If you aren't distributing pics, and you don't have to share them with him, you will be fine. I would set an appt with her pediatrician and just tell the doc you guys have noticed this. That way, if he tries to get CPS involved, it shows that you have tried to figure out what is going on.
Quoting Jmama_of_3:

As for the journal sending back and forth, he wouldn't even give me pictures of her and his family to make a book to send back and forth to help with her screaming and crying when he comes and picks her up. So I know he won't agree to a journal.

Cheyenne Fall Risk Anderson

Admin Roller Derby Mamas

www.cafemom.com/group/ACTIVEDerbyMamas

Jmama_of_3
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 1:40 AM

Thanks for the advice I think I am going to call the doctor tomorrow. Even tho she is with them til the 4th of Aug cause of a 10 day summer vacation period and his regular visits.

sid1083
by Silver Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 2:23 AM
Other than the redness are there any other symptoms? Making an appt with the ped may not be a bad idea if you think he'd make legal accusations of abuse or neglect. Shoot, it could be a little diaper rash or something small and not dr worthy.
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Jmama_of_3
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 3:11 AM

He is trying to say that every time she goes over which is half of every week that she is red not in the butt area just the crotch and she has diarrhea. She isn't red when she leaves here and I have trouble with her straining to have a BM when she comes back from his house, she hasn't had diarrhea for me in several months. Each time he has brought it to my attention (through a text message) it has been an hour or two after she is over there. Not something right after they get her home. Oh and he has only brought it to my attention the last two times and he is saying it has been going on for a while now. That is what makes me thing he is trying to make a case against me with his text messages. If it has been going on for a while then why am I just hearing about it in the last couple of weeks.

Louweezymarie
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 6:26 AM

Who cares if he doesn't want to document from his end, I'd still be taking pics with date stamps the days she goes to dad's and also when she comes back - as well as written documentation.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 6:25 PM

 its nearly impossible to do 50/50 when the parents arent on the same page. i hope things improve.

Jmama_of_3
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 8:53 PM
Me too and we won't be able to do 50-50 when she starts school. He lives 32 miles away from me and out of my school district which he is gonna give me a fight on which school she goes to when the time comes.
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