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Hit rock bottom and heart broken

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 11:03 PM
  • 11 Replies
I feel like I have nothing. I have to move out of my apt Sat and move back to my parents with my son because I haven't been able to get a place on my own. I have been living with my now ex bf in our own apt for the last 3 years. We got this apt last year and he rarely paid the rent on time, I had to cover him often.......It's all not even really the point I guess. He hasn't moved his clothes out, but only comes to shower and change and then back to his moms he goes. IDK he doesn't just take his shit there and stay. Part of me wishes he would and I never had to see him again. Part of me is so heart broken, I just wait till he comes home and wishes everything was different. Besides not paying his rent or really any bills really. He slept with someone else while we were broken up for a few months and lied about it. I found out Sun he has an eHarmony and Ok Cupid Profiles. He got his Ok Cupid account July 5th. We were "Fine" then or so I thought. He keeps telling me he loves me and misses me and I'm what he wants, but 16 days ago he opened a dating profile? I don't get it. I want him to explain but I don't know if it would even matter. can't take back all this pain. I have loved him since High School and had this fantasy of what our life would be and the cutest little girl we'd have. Now I feel like I have nothing. He's taken everything from me. He's broken me down so much over the last 5 years with lies and cheating. I don't know how to stop loving him. I hate him and love him so much at the same time. I know I'll be better off but now I feel so damaged. I lost all my friends because of all the BS between me and him and I always choose him. I wish I had never met him or I could just delete him from my life. It really sucks to be moving back home at almost 30 years old. I feel like such a failure. I feel like I have failed my son not being able to find us a place, also putting us in a bad home the last year. It wasn't a very happy place lately. My son was so happy that my ex was gone, he just realized tonight and he did a happy dance. I feel soo alone and not even worthy of happiness, like I'll never be happy or find the man for me. I'm sooo hurt, and broken.

CafeMom Tickers

by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 11:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
sid1083
by Silver Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 11:53 PM
Things hurt more when they're fresh. Once you get over the initial frustrations it will be easier to move forward. Sorry you're having a hard time.
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Nika87
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 11:57 PM
I'm pretty much where you are....PM me if you need someone to talk to..
RoseWay
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 12:35 AM
1 mom liked this
Why do you let this upset you? You're free of the lies, him manipulating you, treating you like shit and walking all over you. Let him go. He will soon realize he had it better with you.

Your life isn't over! You said you hit rock bottom, be glad because it means you can only go up from here! It's not that bad that you're going to your parents house because that gives you time to get it together, plan the next step. Its only temporarily. Be happy you got your child out of that situation because now you two can be happy and move on with your lives.

One day you will find happiness with another man who will love you and your child. Screw the lying cheating bastard and I'm happy you're finally standing up for yourself and getting the heck out of there. Smile! Everything will be allright, just give it time!

I'm 21. Single and pregnant. I left my ex because he cheated on me, was controlling and abusive. I'm ok with it because I know i deserve BETTER than that. Why would I be sad after everything ive been through? Im happy I had the guts to finally say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I live with my parents too because I go to university and don't have a job. I'm ok with it because in the long run I'll benefit from it and I know my parents don't mind. I'm their child for christs sake, parents love their kids and will do anything for them no matter how old they are. If I was 50 and had no where to go i'm sure my parents would welcome me with open arms simply because I'm their child.

Be strong! Don't let this ahole bring you down!
RoseWay
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 12:40 AM
PS: your ex obviously moved on. Why can't you? Let go of the perfect family fantasy you have because it's not going to happen. Accept it. Its OK. Even if he wanted to be with you I would NEVER take him back after how he treated you. Someone that can hurt you like that obviously only cares about himself and doesn't love you.

Stop wasting your time being sad over some dumbass who doesn't deserve your time.

Even your child realized and was HAPPY. He knows you two are finally free of the misery he put you through
steviechick
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 8:34 AM

group hug

Tsmommy106
by Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:17 AM
It's harder because he's still in my life. Comes to shower & get his clothes for the next day. Every morning he texts me to have a good day & says he loves me. I just wish he really did. Maybe after I move & have nothing to do with him, it'll be better. Even after HS, I had moved on & still loved him. I thought this was our time. It's always hard to loose your first love. I have never loved anyone the way I love him, even if he's the biggest asshole in the world. But I now I need to move on.

Quoting RoseWay:

Why do you let this upset you? You're free of the lies, him manipulating you, treating you like shit and walking all over you. Let him go. He will soon realize he had it better with you.



Your life isn't over! You said you hit rock bottom, be glad because it means you can only go up from here! It's not that bad that you're going to your parents house because that gives you time to get it together, plan the next step. Its only temporarily. Be happy you got your child out of that situation because now you two can be happy and move on with your lives.



One day you will find happiness with another man who will love you and your child. Screw the lying cheating bastard and I'm happy you're finally standing up for yourself and getting the heck out of there. Smile! Everything will be allright, just give it time!



I'm 21. Single and pregnant. I left my ex because he cheated on me, was controlling and abusive. I'm ok with it because I know i deserve BETTER than that. Why would I be sad after everything ive been through? Im happy I had the guts to finally say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I live with my parents too because I go to university and don't have a job. I'm ok with it because in the long run I'll benefit from it and I know my parents don't mind. I'm their child for christs sake, parents love their kids and will do anything for them no matter how old they are. If I was 50 and had no where to go i'm sure my parents would welcome me with open arms simply because I'm their child.



Be strong! Don't let this ahole bring you down!
happymommy1105
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 11:29 AM
1 mom liked this

you don't love him.;  you love the man you want him to be.  which are two totally different people. 

you admit in your op, that you had a fanasty.  life isn't that way.  and the person he is in your fanasty is perfect but in reality he is an asshole.

in the meantime, you can't get caught up in what happened when you were broken up- that's not cheating.  you weren't together and honestly, it's not your business if he slept with somebody else or not. 

stop worrying about a man.  

get a better job, pick yourself up and move on.  easier said than done i know! but now you have a laundry list of things to do and you have to deal with life.  

have a good cry and move on.

Robsessed98
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 11:59 AM
It's time to let him go and move on no matter how much it hurts. I know how it feels right now, but time really does heal. Cut off all communication except for about your dd or it will just make it harder to move on. You will be happy again, but you have to go through the tears and struggle to get there. Stay strong and focus on your dd and yourself only. ((hugs))
mamalena137
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:49 PM

Moving out will help. You can't get over him until you completely cut the ties. By still living together you just kept picking at an open wound. Don't feel like a failure, sometimes we fall down and we need help picking ourselves up again. I'm 34 and had to move back in with my parents. It's not ideal but It's a help to me and I try to help my parents with whatever I can. Hope you start feeling better. If he truly loved you he wouldn't have cheated or gotten on a dating site. It seems like he just likes having you waiting for him. Like if things don't work out with someone else he can always fall back on you.

cjsmom1
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:09 PM

Make him take all his things and stop allowing him to come over. He loves everything you do for him and the fact that you allow him to do all this. You deserve better then this.

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