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I feel like giving up!! Frustrated.

Posted by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:31 PM
  • 14 Replies

I'm in a very messy situation.  I am in a custody battle for my son.  I live in NC. My ex was verbally abusing me. So I decided to leave. I was scared and alone. So I did what any mom would do and move home with a family support system (which happens to be in another state that I was living in previously). Every summer my son visits my mother, since she doesn't get to see him that much throughout the year. I made plans to move to safer place. 

 My ex found out and assumed I was moving out of state back to my mother's. So he first filed a summons for a mediation hearing, drove to VA to my mother's house and banged on her door to get my son.  At that time my son was being watched by my 18 year old cousin while my mother was at work. I was called by my mother, at the time was still in NC at work.  I went to my house grabbed as much as I could pack in my car and drove to VA to be with my son. The next day my ex files an emergency custody order in North Carolina saying I was evading the state. I was leaving because I had no where to go. I did not know the legal shit I needed to do. Again I am alone in NC with no family support. I felt my life and my son's was threatened and that growing up in that enviroment was not healthy for him.

Now I have a hearing on Friday in NC to prove why I left.  I feel like my lawyers are not doing enough for me and are making feel like i was the cause of this, when he was the one verbally abusing and bullying me.  Now my lawyers are saying that for joint custody, it would be better for me to move back to NC.  I do not have the means to live on my own and support my kid by myself. I told the lawyer I am willing to move back only if I get child support and a protective order is in place that he or his family will not harrass me. Otherwise I have to stay in VA and get sporatic visitation.  I'm beyond pissed and exhausted. I need prayer like nobody's business.

I did nothing wrong. I don't drink, do drugs, mistreat my child, or put him in harm's way, but I still can't get my child.  I feel like giving up.

 

 

 

by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
oscarsmom70
by New Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 2:32 PM
1 mom liked this

I can understand why your upcoming custody proceedings are weighing heavily on your mind, and I want you to know that I'll be praying for you in the days ahead, asking God to reveal truth and to be there in the midst of the situation, providing you with His strength and wisdom.

Also, I wanted to offer you the number to the staff of counselors that are available by phone at the non-profit I work for.  If you'd ever like to talk with one of them (at no cost to you), I invite you to give them a call at 1-855-771-4357 weekdays between 6:00 A.M. and 8:00 P.M. (MT).  They are here to listen and offer support and advice as you go through this challenging time.

May the peace of God surround you as you look to Him in faith!


steviechick
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 2:37 PM

Good luck, mama!  Good post above.  I hope you are able to get the help you need.

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 2:45 PM

You are in a bad spot. Dad has every right to go get his son when you left the state with him, then left him with your mother and returned to the state without him. That to the average person like you are trying to hide him, the law would see it that way as well. Your lawyers are telling your right, you need to stay in NC and ask for joint custody of the child. If you have the means to pay for a lawyer you have th means to support yourself in NC. Get a small apartment, you already have a job, if you go to VA you will be going there unemployed and childless.

amonkeymom
by Platinum Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 6:59 PM

This is good information, I hope it helps.

Quoting oscarsmom70:

I can understand why your upcoming custody proceedings are weighing heavily on your mind, and I want you to know that I'll be praying for you in the days ahead, asking God to reveal truth and to be there in the midst of the situation, providing you with His strength and wisdom.

Also, I wanted to offer you the number to the staff of counselors that are available by phone at the non-profit I work for.  If you'd ever like to talk with one of them (at no cost to you), I invite you to give them a call at 1-855-771-4357 weekdays between 6:00 A.M. and 8:00 P.M. (MT).  They are here to listen and offer support and advice as you go through this challenging time.

May the peace of God surround you as you look to Him in faith!



cjsmom1
by Group Admin on Jul. 25, 2013 at 11:00 PM

Do you have proof of his abuse? If not, it may not be admissable in the hearings because he can say you're making it up in order to make him look bad.

StarEyez
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 11:41 PM

 Update:

I've decided to stay In Va with my support system of my family and friends. I would have absolutely no support system In NC, especially after the accusations of me and my family he gave in his order for emergency custody order.  We have decided on joint custody. I have him for two weeks this month and his father will have him the next two weeks and the frist few days of school.  Since he must go to school in NC (only 3 days a week), I get my son every other Wednesday until Sunday evening then we drive to meeting place halfway between us to exchange our son. I have been hurt so badly by him and his family, that I need to my family and support circle to recover, Plus my son doesn't need to see his mom being disrespected by his father and his father's family.  My son needs to see his mom happy and respected.

StarEyez
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 11:44 PM

 

I've kept a journal of  his verbal abuse.  I'm not trying to make him look bad.  I've had enough of being disrespected, hurt, shamed, and bullied by him and his family. I was scared, I didn't know what else to do. So I came home to where it was safe for me and my kid.

Quoting cjsmom1:

Do you have proof of his abuse? If not, it may not be admissable in the hearings because he can say you're making it up in order to make him look bad.


 

Meg2011425
by Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 11:50 PM
All I can say is he's making his bed. Let him! It will all work out eventually.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
StarEyez
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 11:52 PM

 If you know the hell I have endured by him and his family, you would run, too. Verbal abuse and bullying is just as bad as physical abuse. It's worse, because it fucks with your mind.  I didn't know what else to do.  As most people, when in trouble or scared, you go where it's safe where people help you. I did that. I was planning when I was in safe place to take care of the custody in a fair, drama free way. But he was the one who was in the wrong in the first place by  making me feel worthless and making me scared for my  and my son's life.  He told me to get out of his house!!  Now I have to be on the defense for being proactive about making a safe place for me and my child.  Usually physical abuse always starts with verbal abuse.  BTW, I have a job in VA and I have joint custody, so I am not childless, don't judge.


Quoting krisnkids:

You are in a bad spot. Dad has every right to go get his son when you left the state with him, then left him with your mother and returned to the state without him. That to the average person like you are trying to hide him, the law would see it that way as well. Your lawyers are telling your right, you need to stay in NC and ask for joint custody of the child. If you have the means to pay for a lawyer you have th means to support yourself in NC. Get a small apartment, you already have a job, if you go to VA you will be going there unemployed and childless.


 

StarEyez
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 11:55 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Thanks a bunch!!! I appreciate your thoughts and prayers.

Quoting oscarsmom70:

I can understand why your upcoming custody proceedings are weighing heavily on your mind, and I want you to know that I'll be praying for you in the days ahead, asking God to reveal truth and to be there in the midst of the situation, providing you with His strength and wisdom.

Also, I wanted to offer you the number to the staff of counselors that are available by phone at the non-profit I work for.  If you'd ever like to talk with one of them (at no cost to you), I invite you to give them a call at 1-855-771-4357 weekdays between 6:00 A.M. and 8:00 P.M. (MT).  They are here to listen and offer support and advice as you go through this challenging time.

May the peace of God surround you as you look to Him in faith!



 

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