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Moms, what do you do for a living and how do you get by?

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 4:49 PM
  • 40 Replies

I'm pretty much a stay at home mom because I have to be. My daughter (almost 6 months) and I live with my parents. I am "in school" but not really. I had started going to court reporting school (my mom is a court reporter but now owns her own business and does closed captioning for people who are hard of hearing or deaf) so I basically had a guarunteed job. Well I got pregnant, had to move back home, drop out, and now my mom is teaching me. and it's going okay, but kinda slow and I'm just miserable. I don't even want to do it anymore. It's going to take a few years to get through and at this pace, a lot longer. Also, I am 23 so my daughter and I will both be kicked off my parents' insurance in 2 years. No way will I be done with school and working by then. so then what would I do?

I am already a certified medical assistant, but I hate MANY aspects of the job. I did my internship and then never looked back at dr's offices. but now I am and I don't know how I feel about it. Also, I went on got certified thinking I could get paid more, but the place I interned at said they would only offer $11/hour. That was before I was pregnant, way before, and even then I knew that's not enough. I have applied at a couple MA jobs that don't require the hands on (blood draws, injections, in office surgical procedures) but haven't followed up but thats my fault. Part of my problem is that I feel like I am depressed so whenever the baby is asleep, all I want to do is sleep. I cry myself to sleep a lot. I'm just not happy with where my life is going and along with that I worry about where my daughter's life is going. If I'm miserable, she will be too and that isn't fair to her so I really need to figure my S!@* out.

Today my mom asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I looked at her and said "sitting right here doin the same thing. 100% dependant on you, not able to do anything for me or my daughter. if I'm doing anything, itll be some bullshit job making enough to pay for daycare and that's it."  thats a horrible thought for me but that's really what I see.

 

I guess my question is, how do you do it? how do you make money? how do you make it all work?

by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 4:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MissTuree
by Bronze Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 5:19 PM
3 moms liked this

I was in the military when I got pregnant, so I had great employment for 8 years. I got out 2 years ago and my SO had been basically supporting us. Now we're breaking up, I am a couple weeks shy of my Associates so I'll finish that and get a job wherever I can and come the spring semester I'll quit and go back to being a full time student. (I get paid to go to school) Just because I'm not with a man doesn't mean my dreams ceased to exist or the drive to get there changed.

The biggest thing is that you have to realize you have to give your child someone to look up to and model their life after. Would I want my son to get with a woman who had no personal goals and relied only on him to get her somewhere in life? NO WAY! So I can't be that woman, I have to show him what a strong woman is. I have to show him that no matter what happens in life the only one that can defeat you is yourself.

Remember the person you are is the person your child will become, give your daughter someone to admire, be the person you want her to be.  

jgreenwell
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 5:27 PM

You are in a tough spot. I wish I had an easy answer for you, but I don't. What kind of a community do you have that can support you? If money was not part of the equation, what would you do with your time other than be a mom? What drives you?

Can I pray for you? Message me with any specifics you care to share!

mmpdrs07
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 5:30 PM

I currently work for my family for a towing company, I dispatch tow trucks 24 hours 7 days a week and some weeks I hardly make it.  My sons insurance is medicaid through the state and that I simply cannot help because I cannot afford insurance for him, say nothing about myself.  I would love to do something different and make more but right now it's just not happening, I have been here 10 years and to start over right now would be horrible for me.  Thankfully I live in a place of my moms so all I have to pay is my electric bill and then my regular monthly bills but still some weeks it's tight.  

KarasMama2530
by Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 5:30 PM

I agree 100%, it's just finding that person in me. When I sit around all day, not doing anything with my life, it brings me down. But what can I be doing. I just did those follow up calls but with how this dr's system works, it goes to one big human resource office so there's no way to track if I actually did a follow up. Dumb! but anyway, I feel better that I did it, I tried to be proactive so now all I can do is wait.

I know medical assisting isn't what I want to do with my life. But neither is court reporting so why would I invest so much time and effort into that? My parents have already said they won't pay for me to go back to school so I guess medical assisting is my only option right now.

I guess I'm feeling stuck. Like how can I be that awesome role model that I want to be, if there's nothing really to model. I definitely don't want to depend on a man. I've ALWAYS said that. In fact, we don't get any support from her "father." I haven't fought for any nor will I. Plus he doesn't have anything to give. I know I can raise her on my own, I know I am a really good mom, especially with my situation. But I just need to get on my feet which sounds impossible. Like I don't even have a place to start at this point. unless I get a job. I'm just worried I'll never make enough. also, I'm worried I'll end up getting married then actually depending on a man which I said I never would. Right now I'm dating soldier, hes a little younger and obviously not ready to settle down. However, he loves my daughter like she's his. He's mentioned many times that he wants to help with her such as diapers and other expenses. I have not allowed him to, she isn't his responsibility. But I keep thinking, if we got married and I was an MA, then we would be able to support a family. MA alone isn't enough, but with military salary and benefits, we would be okay. But then that means I'm depending on a man. and like I said he's not ready to settle down anyway.

I just don't know. I wish I could figure it all out and be happy again. and I think that brings me down more.

KarasMama2530
by Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 5:37 PM

To answer this, if money wasn't an option, I might open my own dog kennel/day care. When I was 16, I worked at a vet, in the kennel area. I loved it. After 4 years they let me go. Since then I've worked in a few dog day cares. I really loved working at one and she has tried multiple times to open franchises but they havent stayed open. I kind of talked to her about opening one, but then quit there to go to school. I am still on good terms with her and could probably go back and talk to her about it, but I just don't think she would let me do a franchise, nor do I have money for it.

I absolutly love animals. I was working towards a degree in zoo keeping, however it was pointless because you get paid the same as someone who just walks in. and it's not enough at all, not to support a family. There really isn't a lot of money in animals. My brother's girlfriend works at a vet. She has told me to put in my application, but it is front desk part time. I couldn't even afford daycare with that.  

There isn't a lot in this community, it is more of a rich neighborhood, not a lot of single moms, definitely not young ones like me. There really aren't even any mom groups I can join. So I really feel alone. As far as WIC and such things, living under my parents' roof and being on their insurance, there is no option for any assistance. It seems dumb to move out and struggle on my own just so I can qualify for those things, when my parents are able to provide the same things for us.

Quoting jgreenwell:

You are in a tough spot. I wish I had an easy answer for you, but I don't. What kind of a community do you have that can support you? If money was not part of the equation, what would you do with your time other than be a mom? What drives you?


 

cjsmom1
by Gold Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 11:04 PM

Why don't you go to a community college to be a vets assistant? It sounds like you need to decide what kind of career you want and start working towards it. As far as insurance you can apply for medicaid to ensure you and your dd have insurance. Can you work part-time when your parents are home so you have an income? The longer you're out of work the harder it is to find a job.

KarasMama2530
by Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 11:07 AM
They don't want me to work because mom wants me to finish court reporting school. And a vet assistant isn't a career, with my experience I could walk in and be one but I'd only get paid $10-$12 max. Even of I went to be a vet tech and got certified it's not much more, I still couldn't be on my own with that job. That front desk vet job that my brother's gf works at is part tech job also. If they had a night shift I could work after my parents got home from work that would be nice but they don't.

I agree I need to find something. But at the same time my parents won't pay for it so either rack up student loans or I just do what I already have. My biggest decision is do I get a job now and struggle to get on my feet and stay on my feet or do I do school with mom and be absolutely miserable but POSSIBLY not guaranteed but POSSIBLY have a better future.

I guess another question about insurance would be, with this new obamacare is there even going to be Medicaid in 2 years when I get kicked off my parents'?I really don't understand politics and what everything means but I thought everyone was gonna have to pay for some sort of insurance.....
owl0210
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 11:17 AM
I'm a paralegal and my ex-husband pays child support so financially we're okay.
krisnkids
by Gold Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 11:20 AM

I am a payroll specialist, decent money and my ex pays a good amount of child support so we are fine financially.

What you are describing in yourself are symptoms of depression, I would suggest seing a doctor and get yourself evaluated.

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 11:22 AM
2 moms liked this

You CAN make it on your own at 11 dollars an hour, many make it on far less. Will you be living in the lap of luxury? No, but you can support yourself. Get a job, file for cs, file for food stamps, get a small apartment and be on your own. Living with your parents is bound to be depressing when they want you to do something you have no interest in.

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