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I swear my kid hates me.

Posted by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 9:57 AM
  • 10 Replies
And it makes me feel awful, and I am not sure if its normal or not. She is four and freaks whenever I come to get her from grandmas (who watches her while I work.) Says she doesnt want to come home with me. Hates me loves granny wants to live with granny....its been so bad I have even thought of maybe actually letting her move there if she wants to be there that bad.

I am always ready to be in tears and so annoyed by this anymore. I try to spend time with her as much as I can along with doing household chores....then of course I actually punish her (time outs) when she acts up. Grandma just holds her all day with no rules I have thought of even sending her to a new sitter but she will be starting school soon...and I feel like it would be tramatizing to her to send her off to a new sitter...

Does she really hate me? Anyone else go through this? What do I do to fix it....idk what to do anymore.
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 9:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
kristiansmommy1
by Bronze Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 10:02 AM
She doesn't hate you! It's normal, like you said she gets no punishment there but you obviously need to do it. My son was the same way, he wanted to move with nana and grampie and it hurt my feelings so bad! He was 4/5 and he's now 6 and doesn't say it anymore. It's just a stage that she will grow out of
SAMI_JO
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 10:12 AM

 Yes! My ds is almost 15 and still begs to live with Pawpaw. My dad has to lay a guilt trip on him to make him come home. He has always chosen my dad over me, and it is for the same reason as you said. I have rules, and cannot afford to buy him everything he wants. Pawpaw has no rules and goes over my head for everything! If I say no, my dad can't get there fast enough to give it to ds. Yet my dad scolds my mom for spending any money. My mom has dementia, and she is very jealous of the way my dad treat ds, in comparison to she and I. (which I could probably get things occasionally from him if I asked. I just don't ask, because I know they can't afford it either. But he would spend his last penny on ds, and ds would take it. Every time he gets in trouble with me, he wants to go to my dad's and I won't let him. My dad will show up unexpectedly and away ds goes. No matter that he was grounded.

angry

morethanamemory
by Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 12:50 PM
Thanks ladies it makes me feel soooo bad sometimes like I am doing something wrong...good to know I am not alone.
mz23
by Bronze Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 1:02 PM
1 mom liked this


Awe that is so sweet to me. I always wished I had known my Germans parents. But wow he's still spoiling him at 15 lol. I guess he can't help it.



Quoting SAMI_JO:

 Yes! My ds is almost 15 and still begs to live with Pawpaw. My dad has to lay a guilt trip on him to make him come home. He has always chosen my dad over me, and it is for the same reason as you said. I have rules, and cannot afford to buy him everything he wants. Pawpaw has no rules and goes over my head for everything! If I say no, my dad can't get there fast enough to give it to ds. Yet my dad scolds my mom for spending any money. My mom has dementia, and she is very jealous of the way my dad treat ds, in comparison to she and I. (which I could probably get things occasionally from him if I asked. I just don't ask, because I know they can't afford it either. But he would spend his last penny on ds, and ds would take it. Every time he gets in trouble with me, he wants to go to my dad's and I won't let him. My dad will show up unexpectedly and away ds goes. No matter that he was grounded.

angry



amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 1:52 PM

Well sure she loves Granny, there are no rules there and she gets everything she wants.  But, despite what she says, she loves you too and would be lost without you.

alexis_06
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 4:08 PM

she doesnt hate you..she just knows that she can get away with stuff with grandma.  my daughter is the same with my sis (her auntie) she tells me all the time she wants to go and live with auntie..but its not because she doesnt wanna be with me tho, its because she wants to be with her cousins...but it still hurts...just know that your daughter loves you, and she also might just be saying that to get a "reaction" from you..she knows it makes you sad..good luck :)

SAMI_JO
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 8:16 PM

 My son is an only child, and I am an only child (my brother died during birth). And my dad has chronic kidney disease stage 3, plus cancer on his face. He is afraid of not being around for Jacob. So he spoils him beyond rotten. Even if he tells him no, as soon as I turn my back, he gives him whatever he wants! ♥

cjsmom1
by Gold Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 11:28 PM

Ds has always said he wants to live with my aunt uncle. I tell him too bad he's stuck with me

Tricia1979
by Patricia on Jul. 29, 2013 at 3:10 PM

My DS used to do it all the time when he was that age, but it was with his dad. He has grown out of it mostly, now it only happens if he is punished. Don't worry, kids want to be where things are the way they want them to be. Now he asks his dad when I am going to come get him, when he can go "home" lol. He's 7 now so just give it time :)

Mac4411
by Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 4:35 PM

As far as I can tell all kids do this. My daughter has hurt my feelings so many times I can't count, but you have to remember they're little and all they see is instant gradification, not the big picture. She loves you but like my daughter told me last week, "she loves pizza more". You may want to have a firm talk with your mother about rules and expectations you have for your daughter if she really just gives in to everything otherwise another sitter and visits to grandma may be a better idea. Good luck.

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