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Posted by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 7:02 PM
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Hello I just joined. I have a feeling I am going to be a single mom soon. My boyfriend and I keep fighting and today he told me to think about what I wanted. If I wanted to stay with him I'd have to change some things. Or if I wanted to leave. We argue all the time and the yelling is not good for our son. I am sort of stuck right now as to what to do. I do love my boyfriend but I love my son more.


If I do leave him I'm moving back to Oregon to be with my family. I am going to add my sister and her two sons to my housing voucher while removing my boyfriend. I will also tell housing I want to move to Oregon. Then my sister and I will start looking for a place together with three boys. My mom said I just have to say the word and my sister will drive up to Washington to get me and my son. I just have a lot of stuff for my son that I want to bring: strollers, car seat, clothes, toys, blankets, crib (if I can... I can always get a new one), play pen, bouncer (don't really need), books etc. I also have a couch, coffe table, end tables, book shelf, lamps, etc that I bought. Then there's my stuff, mostly clothes.

by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 7:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MandaMom23
by Bronze Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 7:16 PM

 Best of luck!  If you are unhappy and don't see a positive future with your current situation then a change is probably in the works.  You have to make a decision that will be the best for you and your son.

NoahsMommy10412
by Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 7:31 PM

That's why I'm thinking about moving to Oregon and living with my sister. Also, all my family is in Oregon so if I do move I will have tons of support and people that wouldn't mind helping me with my son every once in a while. Here all I have is my boyfriends family which the only one that helps with my son is my boyfriends mom because his sister, brother, and dad live to far away (sister and dad are in Idaho (46 mins away), brother is 20 mins away)

Quoting MandaMom23:

 Best of luck!  If you are unhappy and don't see a positive future with your current situation then a change is probably in the works.  You have to make a decision that will be the best for you and your son.


lizzy_ellie
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 7:35 PM

Is that the relationship you want for the rest of your life? I think you already know what you want... best of luck to you, it's never easy.

Robsessed98
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 7:36 PM
Welcome to the group. Yes, your son's best interest is by far the most important thing. Yelling and fighting parents isn't good for anyone. If y'all can't or don't want to try to make it work, then go asap. Before you leave the state, you need to work out the custody and support and make it legal. Don't leave until you know the state laws about it, bc you don't need to take a chance on him being able to slap you with parental kidnapping.
Cherryfire73
by Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 7:48 PM
1 mom liked this

I would do what truly will make you happy.  I wouldn't worry to much about stuff because it can be replaced and it doesn't make you happy.  It sounds like you have pretty much already figured out most of the logistics in moving so I would guess that is what you really want to do.  If you know your sister will come get you, I would pack what you know you can fit and go.  Yours and your sons happiest is paramount and everything else will fall into place.  If possible maybe put the things you really would like to keep in one of those cheap storage places and come back for it.  When I had to move 800 miles away, I rented a minivan and took what I could fit in it and got rid of the rest.  Surprisingly a lot can fit in one.  Good luck to you and I wish you all the happiness in the world.

NoahsMommy10412
by Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 7:59 PM

I'm sure if we had to we could rent a uhaul to move all the stuff. My sister still has most of her tax return. I'm just a little scared to leave. I'm not sure if I can handle being a single mother.

Quoting Cherryfire73:

I would do what truly will make you happy.  I wouldn't worry to much about stuff because it can be replaced and it doesn't make you happy.  It sounds like you have pretty much already figured out most of the logistics in moving so I would guess that is what you really want to do.  If you know your sister will come get you, I would pack what you know you can fit and go.  Yours and your sons happiest is paramount and everything else will fall into place.  If possible maybe put the things you really would like to keep in one of those cheap storage places and come back for it.  When I had to move 800 miles away, I rented a minivan and took what I could fit in it and got rid of the rest.  Surprisingly a lot can fit in one.  Good luck to you and I wish you all the happiness in the world.


NoahsMommy10412
by Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 7:59 PM

I don't want all the yelling and fighting. I just want to be happy.

Quoting lizzy_ellie:

Is that the relationship you want for the rest of your life? I think you already know what you want... best of luck to you, it's never easy.


NoahsMommy10412
by Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:02 PM

The dad doesn't even seem to want his son. He told me that he never wanted kids but since our son was already in me that we'd keep him, he never plays with his son, he never helps me with our son unless I ask, he never feds his son unless I ask, he's already told me once that he hates our son but then turned it around on the fact that all parents feel that way at one point or another, etc.

Quoting Robsessed98:

Welcome to the group. Yes, your son's best interest is by far the most important thing. Yelling and fighting parents isn't good for anyone. If y'all can't or don't want to try to make it work, then go asap. Before you leave the state, you need to work out the custody and support and make it legal. Don't leave until you know the state laws about it, bc you don't need to take a chance on him being able to slap you with parental kidnapping.


Cherryfire73
by Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:15 PM


Don't sell yourself short.  You can do it and anything else you would need to do for your child.  It's instinct and it just kicks in when it needs to.  I never thought I could be a single mother either and that is all I have been every since my daughter was 2 months old and I would do anything else I needed to do for my children.  Hang in there you can do it.  Feel friend to friend me if you like.  I know how it feels to have to pack up and leave for another state and become a single mother.

Quoting NoahsMommy10412:

I'm sure if we had to we could rent a uhaul to move all the stuff. My sister still has most of her tax return. I'm just a little scared to leave. I'm not sure if I can handle being a single mother.

Quoting Cherryfire73:

I would do what truly will make you happy.  I wouldn't worry to much about stuff because it can be replaced and it doesn't make you happy.  It sounds like you have pretty much already figured out most of the logistics in moving so I would guess that is what you really want to do.  If you know your sister will come get you, I would pack what you know you can fit and go.  Yours and your sons happiest is paramount and everything else will fall into place.  If possible maybe put the things you really would like to keep in one of those cheap storage places and come back for it.  When I had to move 800 miles away, I rented a minivan and took what I could fit in it and got rid of the rest.  Surprisingly a lot can fit in one.  Good luck to you and I wish you all the happiness in the world.




NoahsMommy10412
by Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:18 PM

Thanks. I hope it's the right and best decision for both me and my son

Quoting Cherryfire73:


Don't sell yourself short.  You can do it and anything else you would need to do for your child.  It's instinct and it just kicks in when it needs to.  I never thought I could be a single mother either and that is all I have been every since my daughter was 2 months old and I would do anything else I needed to do for my children.  Hang in there you can do it.  Feel friend to friend me if you like.  I know how it feels to have to pack up and leave for another state and become a single mother.

Quoting NoahsMommy10412:

I'm sure if we had to we could rent a uhaul to move all the stuff. My sister still has most of her tax return. I'm just a little scared to leave. I'm not sure if I can handle being a single mother.

Quoting Cherryfire73:

I would do what truly will make you happy.  I wouldn't worry to much about stuff because it can be replaced and it doesn't make you happy.  It sounds like you have pretty much already figured out most of the logistics in moving so I would guess that is what you really want to do.  If you know your sister will come get you, I would pack what you know you can fit and go.  Yours and your sons happiest is paramount and everything else will fall into place.  If possible maybe put the things you really would like to keep in one of those cheap storage places and come back for it.  When I had to move 800 miles away, I rented a minivan and took what I could fit in it and got rid of the rest.  Surprisingly a lot can fit in one.  Good luck to you and I wish you all the happiness in the world.





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