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Do we need a custody agreement?

Posted by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 7:18 PM
  • 16 Replies

I was living with my sons dad when I got pregnant but we were not married. I assume the commitment of being a dad pushed him away so I was pretty much alone at the end of the pregnancy and m sn was born when his dad chose to be on ignore mode. So my lo has my last name. We receive child support but I never requested custody as I knew his dad was not too involved his entire family visit and call nd text so they all know we have an open door policy.

as my son grows, my fear is that there is not formal agreement, one day his dad may start affecting him if he shows up once or twice per year.

he got married now and I assume his wife wants zero involvement.

i do not date so I am not concerned about people at this point but I am just trying to gather input from others.

do I need to file for custody so that bio dad makes a decision about involvement? He may choose zero participation. He may choose visitation.

what are your thoughts?

at this point bio dad is angry because I do to want to hear from him if he only texts me or emails me about sex

by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 7:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ballerossandra
by Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 7:20 PM

BUMP!

KPBMom
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 7:44 PM

YES!  Bio Dad sounds like a real winner - no involvement with his son, is now married, but still texts you asking for sex?  I think you absolutely need to legalize your custody arrangement and Child Support.  As you get your papers together, put together a list of all the contact/involvement BD has had with your LO since LO's birth.  If things get nasty between you and you have to go to court, your documentation will prove that BD is a loser.

Ali32
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 7:54 PM

Hahaha, sounds like my daughter's father. We don't have a custody/visitation agreement either but I think it is important to have one. 

ballerossandra
by Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:10 PM


Will you request one?

Quoting Ali32:

Hahaha, sounds like my daughter's father. We don't have a custody/visitation agreement either but I think it is important to have one. 



ballerossandra
by Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:10 PM


Child support is legal. I get it from his pay check. It is nt an agreement I made with him

Quoting KPBMom:

YES!  Bio Dad sounds like a real winner - no involvement with his son, is now married, but still texts you asking for sex?  I think you absolutely need to legalize your custody arrangement and Child Support.  As you get your papers together, put together a list of all the contact/involvement BD has had with your LO since LO's birth.  If things get nasty between you and you have to go to court, your documentation will prove that BD is a loser.



MamaDori
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:17 PM

Does it go over visitation in your child support agreement? I know the AG's office where I'm from normally puts the standard visitation agreement in with their orders.  If not then definatly yes, and as long as he won't fight you over it, it's possible for you to do it yourself.

Ali32
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:17 PM

I'm going to try to get us to agree on one as well as on child support. I would have to pay for an attorney to go to court about custody (I can't afford that right now). Child support court is free and I wouldn't need an attorney. 

Quoting ballerossandra:


Will you request one?

Quoting Ali32:

Hahaha, sounds like my daughter's father. We don't have a custody/visitation agreement either but I think it is important to have one. 





ballerossandra
by Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:57 PM

That's what I did


Quoting Ali32:

I'm going to try to get us to agree on one as well as on child support. I would have to pay for an attorney to go to court about custody (I can't afford that right now). Child support court is free and I wouldn't need an attorney. 

Quoting ballerossandra:


Will you request one?

Quoting Ali32:

Hahaha, sounds like my daughter's father. We don't have a custody/visitation agreement either but I think it is important to have one. 







woodstock525
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 10:57 PM

It all depends on the laws in your state.  If paternity has been established, in some states if there is no custody agreement, he could take the child, not return her and then file for custody on his own and there would be nothing you could do about it.  The custody order is for your protection.

Robsessed98
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 12:48 AM
I can't stress the importance of court ordered custody, visitation and support, because at some point there is always issues and disagreements over them. I've seen and heard about too many wars between parents that could have easily been avoided by following the judge's order, instead of becoming disasterous. Get custody assigned so he can't just come take her and go if he decides to. Set up legal visitation, if he wants some extra time sometimes, be flexible with him, if he doesn't take his time, that's his choice. Get a support order so he has to help financially and owes it to the child, whether he wants to pay or not. It costs a little, but well worth it in the end.
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