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My child's father's mom is driving me insane! Help!!

Posted by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 1:24 PM
  • 13 Replies
My child's father's mother is over the top, manipulating, narcissistic, and rules her son's life. She makes all the visitation decisions for him. Tells him when he can and cannot discuss issues with me. She has even filed legal motions using her son as the pawn so she can try to get court ordered visitation with my daughter. She pays his child support which is 50$ a month. She even tried to get me to cosign on an account in her name so I can withdraw money for my daughter. I was extremely uncomfortable with that and declined and now she's treating me as ungrateful. She is the one who asks for schedule changes because she said her son is too busy to deal with it. Then when I don't give her the time she asks for she flips again and calls me unreasonable. I don't want to deal with her at all. But her son is not allowed to talk to me unless she is present and he has to call me from her phone. I'm so angry and have so much to say but I know I'm supposed to keep my mouth shut. It's so hard and I just need to get ideas on how to vent, cope, and not let anger rule my life. Ideas?
by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 1:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ruby_jewel_04
by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 1:34 PM
1 mom liked this
Just continue to ignore her unless you have to talk to her. She sounds like a piece of trash.
BabyPink07
by Member on Aug. 4, 2013 at 2:03 PM
Just tell her you will only deal with your ex. And then only deal with your ex. He needs to grow a pair.
ChromeCowgirl37
by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 2:08 PM
4 moms liked this
Next time you go to court, you can request that she NOT contact you. It may help, but the judge needs to know that dad isn't doing what he is supposed to.
hayliedlr
by JoAnna on Aug. 4, 2013 at 2:20 PM

I would ignore her.  you don't have to deal with her and her son needs to grow up.

dawncs
by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 4:51 PM

The court only cares that you follow the court order. If she keeps filing senseless motions, she can anger the judge who is smarter than her which can haunt them until your child is 18. I know of two cases in which this has happened. I recommend taping all phone calls (check with state regulations) and keeping a journal of all communications and visitations with a brief summary of what happened.

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

SooFrustrated
by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 5:51 PM
Which cases? Can I look up the details of them?


Quoting dawncs:

The court only cares that you follow the court order. If she keeps filing senseless motions, she can anger the judge who is smarter than her which can haunt them until your child is 18. I know of two cases in which this has happened. I recommend taping all phone calls (check with state regulations) and keeping a journal of all communications and visitations with a brief summary of what happened.


dawncs
by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 6:08 PM

 I do not know their names or locations. Both are friends online, and these were postings they did besides sharing with me. One was a custodial father of a nine year old son who's ex kept taking him back to court, and the judge got angry one time who made the ruling that the custody agreement could not be changed until age 18. The other case is a noncustodial father who followed the advice of a stupid girlfriend too many times which resulted in the judge getting angry, and it led into the next judge at his request getting angry at him. I recommend getting the child custody order spelled out to make it clear and easy for anyone other than you. I recommend this:

  • Mother gets first, third, and fifth weekends.
  • Father gets second and fourth weekends from Friday at 6 p.m. until Sunday at 6 p.m.
  • Father gets child from 5 p.m. until 8 p.m. on Wednesdays for dinner.
  • Father (state legal name) gets child for his birthday and Father's Day from 10 a.m. until 6 p.m. unless it interferes with school and then it would be from 5 p.m. until 8 p.m.
  • Mother (state your legal name) gets hild for birthday and Mother's Day starting at 10 a.m.
Quoting SooFrustrated:

Which cases? Can I look up the details of them?

Quoting dawncs:

The court only cares that you follow the court order. If she keeps filing senseless motions, she can anger the judge who is smarter than her which can haunt them until your child is 18. I know of two cases in which this has happened. I recommend taping all phone calls (check with state regulations) and keeping a journal of all communications and visitations with a brief summary of what happened.

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

Robsessed98
by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 6:14 PM
Tell bd to grow some balls and stop her. You don't have to deal with her period, she's his problem, not yours. Tell bd you're not talking to her, only him and stick to it.
cjsmom1
by Platinum Member on Aug. 4, 2013 at 6:18 PM
As a pp said look up laws in your state and record the conversations you have with his mom. Let the court see how she acts. Or just tell her you'll only deal with your ex.
fivegirls333
by on Aug. 6, 2013 at 10:46 AM

vent here.  can you communicate through email?  that way there is a record and you can keep the conversation only about ds.  i would not give her any more opportunities to bully you.  get a court schedule and stick to it.  that works both ways so be careful.  stay calm and stay above her chaos.  scream when you get off of the phone.  don't give her the satisfaction of getting to you.  if she cannot speak to you in a decent manner then you say goodbye.  keep all of your records/phone calls.

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