I am so hurt right now. Ever since me and my kids father split up 5 months ago its like there has been a huge amount of weight lifted off my shoulders. I have been at peace without all of the drama. I was even able to go through a whole day without thinking of him. While we have been apart he keeps in contact with the kids by calling them. Their grandmother bought them a phone that they both share so he does not have to go through me to contact them. Which was really good because I couldnt even stand to hear his voice sometimes.
Well just this past weekend he wanted the kids to come over and spend time with him while I worked. I felt that it would be good for them to be around their dad and spend a little quality time so I took them over and off to work I went. After work I called my daughter to tell her that I would be on my way and she said ok. Well when i got there I noticed a woman sitting out front but I didnt think much of it. My daughter got in the car and I asked did they have a good time and they both said yes. The youngest one then said "mommy I want to say something but I know that you are going to get mad". So I was like what is it? and she said that daddy has a new girlfriend and he told her to sit outside so when you pull up you can see her. I was like "what"?
Now dont get me wrong I do know that he was going to eventually move on because everytime we break up he has no trouble whatsoever finding another woman. He usually moves on pretty quickly. But I was very hurt at the fact that he wanted me to actually see it. I just dont understand. He intentionally does things to upset me sometimes thats why I just cant stand to hear from him. Yes i do still love him. At first i wouldnt think about him at all now I cant seem to get him and this woman off my mind. I couldnt sleep last night thinking of him having sex with her. How do I move past this? This is driving me crazy. I am struggling thoughout the week with the kids and their attitudes while he is living it up having a good time with this woman.
He called yesterday evening and asked the kids if they could come over next weekend. I would never keep them away from their dad but I just dont know how to go about this anymore. Sometimes when he calls the kids he will sometimes ask them what is your mom doing but I just dont understand why he would try to hurt me. This man knows that I still love him. I know that we have kids together and that we have to keep in contact for their sake but I feel so much better when i just dont hear from him at all. Everytime he call it stirs something up in me. I just cant stand him. How can I keep my distance but still let the kids have their dad in their lives.