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Awaiting my fourth lawsuit

Posted by on Aug. 7, 2013 at 5:50 AM
  • 18 Replies

So, here I am, awake at 4am, stressed because I am going to be hauled to family court, again. My twins are only 2yrs old, and this will be the fourth time I am being sued.

My twins father sued me for paternity and custody shortly after they were born. In the middle of that, he decided that we should go into mediation to determine a parenting plan and child support. He had his lawyer there with him, I did not. 

He agreed to everyother weekend, and one week day, plus any other additional parenting time that we agreed on. He did not get 50/50, but he signed off on this agreement. Both of our lawyers had 20 days to make changes, he and I had 20 days to change our minds. He waited until the final court papers were signed to actually look at what he agreed to and hit the roof.

He has been getting a lot of extra parenting time, and that is what has gotten me in trouble. We kept things very loose, did not stick to the letter of the parenting plan, so now, every time he does not get what he wants, he hauls me to court. His petition to modify was dismissed outright, so now, he files motion after motion for contempt. I have not been found in contempt, although, he won the right to take my 2yr olds out of the country for vacation for over a week, the last time. Now, he thinks he can use the courts to harass me and beat me into submission when I disagree with anything he wants.

This is expensive and emotionally draining, constantly waiting for the next motion or petition. I don't make a lot of money, but I am comfortable caring for my sons, if he would stop making me spend all my money on lawyers. I think he is trying to run me aground financially, so all he has to do is threaten me with a lawsuit to get what he wants.

Anyone else out there dealing with an unreasonable ex and constant court battles?

by on Aug. 7, 2013 at 5:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
woodstock525
by on Aug. 7, 2013 at 8:20 AM
3 moms liked this

Document, document, document....every phone call, visit, email.  Stop speaking with him directly and make sure if you do that it is only about the kids.  Request that all communcation be via email (there are some websites out there that will document any texts and where you can keep track of visitations and such).  Finally, DO NOT deviate one bit from the court order.  He gets what is court ordered and that is it!  Nothing extra.  Don't feel sorry for him and do not offer anything.

Eventually the judge will see him for what he is.  But, you have to get your documentation together and you have to have your attorney there every step of the way.  Next time he tries to haul you in to court, you are going to file for him to pay your court and attorney costs due to the frivolous nature of the lawsuit.

I'm sure there will be a next time as I anticipate there will be a battle over what school they attend.  If he wants them in a private school, then you ask for him to fund it totally and to provide for transportation.  Plus, I would imagine he'll want to change the visitation schedule when they are in school.  Do not settle for him getting all the weekends just because the kids are in school...you need to have non-school day times with the kids as much as he does.

Further, i would feel very uncomfortable with the ex taking my kids out of the country especially if he has citizenship somewhere else.  There should be some type of guarantee, financial or otherwise, that the children will be returned.

OCALAMOMOFTWINS
by on Aug. 7, 2013 at 8:39 AM

I know, we are emailing on Our Family Wizard now, a court monitored web site. He is already raising a stink because I enrolled my boys in preschool two days a week. Our agreement states that unless the parents agree, the boys are to go to school in my jurisdiction. It is a private school, that I am footing the bills for, he refuses to pay half. 

I got in trouble, giving him a lot of extra time. Now that he is trying to sue me over every little thing, I have to legally CYA and cannot go on giving him what I really do want to give him, because I know it will be used against me in another petition to modify. He did not do himself any favors by getting the lawyers involved.

I am court orderded to let him take them out of country, and I am terrified that he won't bring them back. I am so stressed that I can't sleep or eat much these days. I know this is his intent, he always was a bully. He wants total control of these kids and will stop at nothing to get it. He even lied under oath and told the judge that I had slapped my son. He is trying to set me up for abuse.


Quoting woodstock525:

Document, document, document....every phone call, visit, email.  Stop speaking with him directly and make sure if you do that it is only about the kids.  Request that all communcation be via email (there are some websites out there that will document any texts and where you can keep track of visitations and such).  Finally, DO NOT deviate one bit from the court order.  He gets what is court ordered and that is it!  Nothing extra.  Don't feel sorry for him and do not offer anything.

Eventually the judge will see him for what he is.  But, you have to get your documentation together and you have to have your attorney there every step of the way.  Next time he tries to haul you in to court, you are going to file for him to pay your court and attorney costs due to the frivolous nature of the lawsuit.

I'm sure there will be a next time as I anticipate there will be a battle over what school they attend.  If he wants them in a private school, then you ask for him to fund it totally and to provide for transportation.  Plus, I would imagine he'll want to change the visitation schedule when they are in school.  Do not settle for him getting all the weekends just because the kids are in school...you need to have non-school day times with the kids as much as he does.

Further, i would feel very uncomfortable with the ex taking my kids out of the country especially if he has citizenship somewhere else.  There should be some type of guarantee, financial or otherwise, that the children will be returned.



LifeCafe42
by Nora on Aug. 7, 2013 at 9:09 AM
1 mom liked this
like the other mama said document I'm sorry you are going through this unfortunately if he thinks this is how to handle things then he will keep it up. Hopefully the courts will see it but if its anything like the ones out here they are over loaded and don't care
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
nrouette
by New Member on Aug. 7, 2013 at 9:12 AM
1 mom liked this
This! Keep your chin up, Mama, & stay strong!

Quoting woodstock525:

Document, document, document....every phone call, visit, email.  Stop speaking with him directly and make sure if you do that it is only about the kids.  Request that all communcation be via email (there are some websites out there that will document any texts and where you can keep track of visitations and such).  Finally, DO NOT deviate one bit from the court order.  He gets what is court ordered and that is it!  Nothing extra.  Don't feel sorry for him and do not offer anything.

Eventually the judge will see him for what he is.  But, you have to get your documentation together and you have to have your attorney there every step of the way.  Next time he tries to haul you in to court, you are going to file for him to pay your court and attorney costs due to the frivolous nature of the lawsuit.

I'm sure there will be a next time as I anticipate there will be a battle over what school they attend.  If he wants them in a private school, then you ask for him to fund it totally and to provide for transportation.  Plus, I would imagine he'll want to change the visitation schedule when they are in school.  Do not settle for him getting all the weekends just because the kids are in school...you need to have non-school day times with the kids as much as he does.

Further, i would feel very uncomfortable with the ex taking my kids out of the country especially if he has citizenship somewhere else.  There should be some type of guarantee, financial or otherwise, that the children will be returned.

amandacr1026
by on Aug. 7, 2013 at 10:05 AM
1 mom liked this

Wow.. that is ridiculous.. but yes.. document everything and eventually the courts wil see that he keeps filing just to get his way and it will all backfire on him. Keep your chin up.. I'm sure its stressful.. I can't imagine with twins. Hopefully in keeping records of all contact between you two then you will catch a break. He'll slip up somewhere. bullies always get what they deserve.

easinpc
by Gold Member on Aug. 7, 2013 at 10:08 AM
1 mom liked this

group hug

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Aug. 7, 2013 at 11:17 AM

This time ask that your lawyer request him to pay your lawyer fees for the current case and any new frivilous cases in the future.

I don't know why you fought against him taking the kids on vacation, even if its out of the country. If he is a US citizen and has roots in the US its a frivolous argument.

lnrmom
by on Aug. 7, 2013 at 11:20 AM

Sue for court costs.

OCALAMOMOFTWINS
by on Aug. 7, 2013 at 11:43 AM

This time we will. It was denied before, but if this is seen as harassment, I will get it this time.


Quoting lnrmom:

Sue for court costs.



Jenn8604
by Gold Member on Aug. 7, 2013 at 11:48 AM
this

Quoting amandacr1026:

Wow.. that is ridiculous.. but yes.. document everything and eventually the courts wil see that he keeps filing just to get his way and it will all backfire on him. Keep your chin up.. I'm sure its stressful.. I can't imagine with twins. Hopefully in keeping records of all contact between you two then you will catch a break. He'll slip up somewhere. bullies always get what they deserve.

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