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Online dating?

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2013 at 1:16 AM
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Help! I am in need of advice. First let me just say that I haven't really dated since my x and I separated- we were together for 20 years, so it's been a long time since I dated. I am out of practice, was still recovering, and also new to this online dating thing. I have a profile up, but don't generally message anyone and am mkt usually interested so generally don't respond to incoming messages. I separated from my husband 2 1/2 years ago and the divorce was final last November. I am lonely and know that in order to find someone, I have to put myself out there. So I am spending my quiet Friday night online dating.

About two months ago a cute/height appropriate/interesting guy emailed me. But I was timid, didn't know what to say and was freaked out by his age. He is 6 years younger...only 35, and that freaks me out. I just noticed he wrote interested in friendship and seeing where it goes. Also noted that for age he put 30-70? Accident? Cougar hunter? Weirdo?

But sifting back through the profiles, I genuinely like his. Would it be weird to message him now? If I did would I apologize for not responding before, or acknowledge I ignored him and just chalk it up to skittishness? Or do I mention the age discomfort? Or should I just pass on this guy and try not to ignore the next one.

I hate dating and never thought I would be doing this crap at 41, urgh! Please help a lonely old lady who doesn't want to die alone. ;)
by on Aug. 17, 2013 at 1:16 AM
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by on Aug. 17, 2013 at 1:20 AM
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Go with your initial reaction. Also pay attention to what they say.
If the message sounds generic he could be sending to everyone.

The "hey your profile is interesting. Would you like to talk" ignore those.
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by Gold Member on Aug. 17, 2013 at 7:00 PM
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I agree if he really likes women up to 70 then he is looking for a cougar.

Online dating sucks. A lot of losers, fat and bald in our age group (I'm 41 too). a lot of scammers and guys out of the country. They send an email from another state and have no clue where the states are, the english and email normally tips me off they are not in the US. I was on on OK Cupid which sucks since half my responses are out of state men. POF seems to be better on filtering out out of state.

Ignore guys who do not write a decent email or do not have their profile filled out.

Good luck.


by on Aug. 17, 2013 at 10:41 PM
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I tried online dating.  I met alot of turds....guys who after barely saying hello wanted to show you everything on cam and have you reciprocate; guys who were just looking for a one night stand; or guys who were stepping out on their wives.  I dropped them like spoiled meat into the trash. 

I did meet an awesome guy that way though.  We started out as chat buddies...chatting about anything except sex and he didn't offer to send me/show me any of his parts.  We actually chatted for over six months before we actually a public place for lunch.  So, there can be good eggs out there....just takes sifting through alot of the rotten ones to find them.  Oh...and he was four years younger than me.  I discovered that at our age, age is just a number and the age gap really didn't make that much of a difference.

by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 3:15 PM
Yeah I am sure they a couple good oned..but hard to find...and watch them closely! They start the hot n cold crap etc..boot em! Also never ever date foreign..even if they in the US in your city etc...more than likely a greencard seeker...esp Indian..Moroccan..or any Muslim country...also Nepal my personal favorite! Lol
by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 3:39 PM

awsome work girlfriend go with younger !!!!!!i highley suggest cherry norris .com dateing advisor she is the best of the best man is 12 years younger ..

by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 3:50 PM
When its right its right dont settle
by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 3:54 PM

I'm on a dating site, too ( So far there are tons of duds.  I send them decent e-mails and get nothing in return.  E-mails like what a poster suggested.  Nothing.   I guess they are shopping around once they think you aren't their time.  I have a few more weeks left.  If by then nothing happens I'm going to take some time off and get back to on-line dating next spring.  I'm not about to waste $.

by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 7:03 PM

Don't let the age deter you. I'm 48 and have been single again for a year. I don't know why, but suddenly a lot of younger men are after older women, both online and in person. I've had a couple of 20 somethings actively pursue me, but I have a 25 yo dd and I just can't go there. I finally decided to talk to 35 and up guys and am really surprised at how the age isn't a factor. I've been very casually seeing a 37 yo guy (actually fwbs with a twist) for about 9 months and he's more together and mature than a lot of men I know my own age. We didn't meet through a dating site though.

by on Aug. 20, 2013 at 12:59 AM
Yeah 60% of the guys who approach me are younger..I don't think age matters..I think they like the no drama part too...
by Bronze Member on Aug. 20, 2013 at 4:21 AM
Okay all of you daters of younger men...I get that the guys like the lesser drama of dating someone older, but...aren't you concerned that it is a romance without a future? Most of the guys who hit on me don't have kiss yet, but want them someday. That is never gonna happen with me. So what is the point of falling for someone I know has different fundamental long term goals than? I was already so hurt during my divorce, I don't want to walk into a doomed relationship.
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