I'm in a situation and would love some support and or advice. I am divorced and have two girls, 9 and 12 who I share 50/50 custody of. I am also currently 6 months pregnant with twin girls! Yikes! I have been in a serious relationship for the past two years with a man that lives in another town. I was planning on moving to be with him this past summer with my kids, when he broke things off with me. His explanation was that he was scared of it not working out and being responsible for uprooting my life and my kid's life. I was completely shocked and devastated. World turned upside-down.
About a week later, I had a one night fling with a guy who was a friend of mine. I was hurt and sad from my breakup and dealt with it in the wrong way. About three weeks later I found out I was pregnant... and yes... did not know for sure who the father was. I know! Condoms! I've already beat myself up over it.
After the shock of finding out I was having twins, and much deliberation on what I should do, I decided to keep the babies. I told both men I was pregnant as well as the possibility that the babies could belong to another. After my ex got over the hurt and anger (which took months) he was on board with having the babies and being together if they were his. We had talked a lot about what our future together looked like if the outcome was not in his favor and he went back and forth on whether he could stay with me if they weren't his. Because we loved each other so much I really wanted to believe it was going to work out whatever the outcome. The other guy wanted nothing to do with the situation or me. We did a paternity test when I was 4 months and it turned out the babies were not my ex's. Again, total devastation.
My ex and I have had very limited contact since the results came back, 2 months now. He has told me that he needs time and that he does not have an answer for me on what our future looks like together. He won't speak to me in person, he has only texted me. However he has spoken to a family member of mine a few times to check on the babies and me. I don't know if I should hold onto the possibility of a future with him or let go. I completely understand that it would be difficult for most men to stay in a relationship under these circumstances, but its hard not to be hopeful when he tells me he needs time.
The babies father still wants nothing to do with them. I am scared and feeling very alone. I do not have family that lives by me, just a few close girlfriends. I've had to suffer the humiliation of telling people the truth about who the father of the babies are, including my own children. I am feeling extremely overwhelmed at the task I have before me. Raising 4 kids on my own, twins no less.
I would love any words of advice or encouragement.